XXplorher
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 1, 1999
- Posts
- 2,711
10 years from now I’ll be in a ditch.
Or maybe if it goes right, I’ll get an actual hole built and thrown in there.
Or perhaps I’ll get my wish and they’ll cremate me and thrash my ashes amongst the rest of the energy. Make me one again with the elements I’m desperate to control.
Or maybe I’ll survive… and my face will be all squished up like a tan-faced goblin – full of uncompromising bitterness and immediate refusal to anything you claim to know. Maybe I’ll carry a cart around… and talk to myself incessantly.
Or maybe I’ll actually live and let myself listen to what some of them have to say. Maybe I’ll still consider. Maybe I’ll still learn. Or maybe I’ll just grimace…
Maybe I’ll pull my face out of the granite one day and discover I actually made it through the wall….
Maybe I’ll have a moment. Somehow, someway – that is unobstructed. And I’ll find another clarity I never expected. One that has nothing to do with what’s ‘wrong’ with it all. But rather… something right I managed to ignore. Maybe I’ll find the right way to connect…
Maybe some asshole wont park his SUV in the middle of everyone else’s lives…
Just maybe we’ll all start THINKING again.
Initially filed that away in 2005.
I drug it up just now (found it) cuz I might actually be on the verge of getting it right (which is real interesting, since the only answer I found between here and then was – ‘You’ll never know nothing. You canNOT collect enough information to ever ‘protect’ yourself. You cannot fully anticipate. There’s NOTHING you can do – to know. You can’t. You never will’.
And so then I let go and fell apart officially (see poem). I thought I’d quit on it all. Gave up.
But I hadn’t.
I just stopped. Getting. In my own. Fucking. Way.
See ya at the movies, folks…
Stay true to You.
Or maybe if it goes right, I’ll get an actual hole built and thrown in there.
Or perhaps I’ll get my wish and they’ll cremate me and thrash my ashes amongst the rest of the energy. Make me one again with the elements I’m desperate to control.
Or maybe I’ll survive… and my face will be all squished up like a tan-faced goblin – full of uncompromising bitterness and immediate refusal to anything you claim to know. Maybe I’ll carry a cart around… and talk to myself incessantly.
Or maybe I’ll actually live and let myself listen to what some of them have to say. Maybe I’ll still consider. Maybe I’ll still learn. Or maybe I’ll just grimace…
Maybe I’ll pull my face out of the granite one day and discover I actually made it through the wall….
Maybe I’ll have a moment. Somehow, someway – that is unobstructed. And I’ll find another clarity I never expected. One that has nothing to do with what’s ‘wrong’ with it all. But rather… something right I managed to ignore. Maybe I’ll find the right way to connect…
Maybe some asshole wont park his SUV in the middle of everyone else’s lives…
Just maybe we’ll all start THINKING again.
Initially filed that away in 2005.
I drug it up just now (found it) cuz I might actually be on the verge of getting it right (which is real interesting, since the only answer I found between here and then was – ‘You’ll never know nothing. You canNOT collect enough information to ever ‘protect’ yourself. You cannot fully anticipate. There’s NOTHING you can do – to know. You can’t. You never will’.
And so then I let go and fell apart officially (see poem). I thought I’d quit on it all. Gave up.
But I hadn’t.
I just stopped. Getting. In my own. Fucking. Way.
See ya at the movies, folks…
Stay true to You.