She wants to submit

[fluiddrive]

A woman I'm fond of says she wants to be my Sex Slave (SS).
I think this could be fun and I'm intrigued.
My personality is somewhat dominant just naturally.
When I was younger (teen) I found that I could talk girls into acts that stretched their personal boundries.
I was so good at this that I felt guilty about it.
Explanation: They'd do what I wanted because they thought I'd love them ( I guess-who know maybe they just wanted to and needed a push).
After one girl went over board (mooned after me-became extremely submissive) I vowed I wouldn't impose my will on any one unless they were sure what they were getting into.

So much for the intro-decades have passed and now I have some one telling me they want to be my SS.
She's a mature woman though a decade younger.
I've not nor am I about to lead her on.
She seems to be enjoying our liasons and has asked to step it up.
So far this what we've done while I've had her tied to a bed and orgasmed her into submission:
Cunnilingus
clitoral vibrator
dildo
anal bullet and cunnilingus
anal bullet, dildo, vibrator
Somewhere in there were handcuffs but the details of that escape me at the moment.
Anyway she was cool with all the above and told me it was the first time in her life she'd had as many orgasms as she desired-this was after about 3-4 hours of sex play.
She said at one point she'd squeezed her eyelids so tightly together that one eye wouldn't open-isn't that a nice thing to say?

Now I'm thinking about having her insert a bullet/egg, maybe a butt plug while we are working (we occasionally work together).
I think this might be a fun direction to go-I haven't mentioned this yet.
If she were to say no, that'd be fine.
She's a very daring Scorpio so I'm pretty sure she'll like the idea.
She's told me she'd like to be punished.
The farthest I'm comfortable with punishing/torture would be to (temporarly )withold her orgasm-you know in a teasing way.
Any suggestions?

Fluid Drive
Nothing human is foreign to me-Albert Schweitzer

 

[pandoravampire]

Sounds like its all going swimmingly to me.
And why wouldnt it, she's coming all over the place. If that to you is the sort of sex slave you wish to have.
Or is it?
I you could really have a sex slave, what would you wish to happen. Not what does she wish to happen, she's a slave, she'll do as she's told. Including tell you if she wants out for a breather. But what do you want in a sex slave. Have a think about that. Anything your hearts desire, if your not sure she'd be ok with it, run it by her first, allowing her to pause or stop if the need arises, and you cant go far wrong. Talking about stuff after helps you get ideas too. You think something worked, but its not till you discuss it, you often find out on what level it works for you and your partner. Guessing, is a dumb game.
Im sometimes a sex slave for my Dom. That can mean that im not going to cum AT ALL. Its his pleasure that is the focus, not mine. I get used to gratify his sexual desire, whatever that might be. And its not always my idea of a good time either. But hey ho, that's D/s for ya. But its much more fun for me to be coming too. I make for a much more enthusiastic slave, if im gaining pleasure. And as this aint rocket science, he gets that too.
But sometimes, when i dont feel like, and have to anyway, i can feel totally used, humiliated, debased and that's just haven.
one of the things i was asked to do, was to pee in a bowl in front of him. I really couldnt see the point. But if that's what he wanted, id give it. Turned out to be really difficult to give control of my bladder to another. But as soon as i did, some other dynamic of embarrassment, humiliation, riducule etc jumped in on the scene. And a love affair with it started. try just about anything that doesnt turn you off, and you'll find heaps of ways. Buy a $2 dog collar, and have her sit beside you naked whilst you eat. Anything goes
each to their own i guess.

 

[fluiddrive]

Going To The Dogs

Thanks P,

This may sound Vanilla but seeing her orgasm, multiple times is hugely satisfying for me.
Like a craftsman admiring his work.

Your idea of the dog collar was something I'd thought about prior to writing my post.
My variation is to take her to a pet store and have her pick out and try on collars in the pet store.
I was contemplating the same thing with butt plugs (although I don't think they'll let you try those on in the store).

Yesterday I found the checklists for BDSM on this site and I'm going to give them to her next time we meet.
They seem to be an exquisite way to kick start the activity.

Thanks for the input,
Fluid Drive

The only un-natural sex act is one that can't be performed-A. Kinsey

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Sounds to me more like you are dancing to her sexual desires and fantasies than her dancing to yours. But if it floats the boat the both of you are sharing, rock on, my friend, rock on!

Your sex _slave_ is supposed to be serving your desires. Period. Which means you are in the drivers seat. If you want her to get off that's fine, but that is not the driving imperative in a Master/slave relationship. If the driving imperative is your desire to please her, then you might want to try flipping the power dynamic the other way around with you taking the role of the sex slave.

It's all good, no matter which way the dynamic flows if you are both adults, consenting, and enjoying. Which it certainly sounds like the both of you are.

Explore! Discover! Enjoy the process! Finding out is half the fun... *weg*

Of course, if she really wants to submit, try having her wash the windows at your place. Then catch the laundry. If she does a really good job, reward her with some mind bogglingly good sex. If she gives you an attitude, spank her bare behind and stand her in the corner for a while to think about what a naughty girl she was for not obeying...

 

[FurryFury]

I'm not liking the housework aspects of that post at all!

It's not part of my BDSM!

SAFE WORD!!!! RED DAMN it RED!!!

Fury

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm not liking the housework aspects of that post at all!

It's not part of my BDSM!

SAFE WORD!!!! RED DAMN it RED!!!

Fury

Ahhh Fury, hon, you must not be doing housework the right way...

 

[FurryFury]

Ahhh Fury, hon, you must not be doing housework the right way...

Just another strike against me I guess. *sighs*

Speaking of which, should I go do the floors?

Naaaaa!

Fury

 

[CutieMouse]

Just another strike against me I guess. *sighs*

Speaking of which, should I go do the floors?

Naaaaa!

Fury

Okaaay, but I'm telling you, you are missing out. Seriously. *laughing*

 

[FurryFury]

Okaaay, but I'm telling you, you are missing out. Seriously. *laughing*

*looks sadly and longingly at the broom, mop, bucket and Mr. Clean bottle.*

Oh well!

I think I'll survive!

Fury

 

[CutieMouse]

*looks sadly and longingly at the broom, mop, bucket and Mr. Clean bottle.*

Oh well!

I think I'll survive!

Fury

Ahem. I sent you a PM, hon.

 

[FurryFury]

Ahem. I sent you a PM, hon.

Thank you!!!

Fury

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I'm not liking the housework aspects of that post at all!

It's not part of my BDSM!

SAFE WORD!!!! RED DAMN it RED!!!

Fury

*grins and shrugs* I'm a sadist. I make people do things that hurt. Or they don't like. They don't submit, they don't get played with...

 

[FurryFury]

*grins and shrugs* I'm a sadist. I make people do things that hurt. Or they don't like. They don't submit, they don't get played with...

I'd much rather be hurt damn it.

*pouts*

Fury

 

[jadefirefly]

Sounds to me more like you are dancing to her sexual desires and fantasies than her dancing to yours. But if it floats the boat the both of you are sharing, rock on, my friend, rock on!

Your sex _slave_ is supposed to be serving your desires. Period. Which means you are in the drivers seat. If you want her to get off that's fine, but that is not the driving imperative in a Master/slave relationship. If the driving imperative is your desire to please her, then you might want to try flipping the power dynamic the other way around with you taking the role of the sex slave.

It's all good, no matter which way the dynamic flows if you are both adults, consenting, and enjoying. Which it certainly sounds like the both of you are.

Explore! Discover! Enjoy the process! Finding out is half the fun... *weg*

Of course, if she really wants to submit, try having her wash the windows at your place. Then catch the laundry. If she does a really good job, reward her with some mind bogglingly good sex. If she gives you an attitude, spank her bare behind and stand her in the corner for a while to think about what a naughty girl she was for not obeying...

This is one thing that's always amused me -- if the sole goal of the "master" is to watch the slave get off, it doesn't really matter if she's tied to a bed, a table, or the front of a moving locomotive. She's damn near the one calling the shots, which means she's really not the one submitting.


On the other hand, I'm gonna side with Fury - I HATE housework!!

 

[Etoile]

She said at one point she'd squeezed her eyelids so tightly together that one eye wouldn't open-isn't that a nice thing to say?

That sounds kind of weird. Has she seen an ophthalmologist?

But seriously, I agree with pandoravampire and EG. It sounds like the two of you are having a great time, and you should absolutely keep that up. But I don't really see a lot of BDSM happening here. Even if you are enjoying what you're doing to her...it's not really BDSM. Handcuffing somebody is kinky and fun, but it's not BDSM.

And maybe it's just me, but the acronym "SS" is a bit odd to see. Most people think of that as a WWII-era thing, you know? If you mean sex slave, it's okay to say sex slave. You don't have to abbreviate!

 

[CutieMouse]

On the other hand, I'm gonna side with Fury - I HATE housework!!

But y'all- there are so very many creative, kinky, painful, and interesting ways to DO boring things like housework. I can't wrap my mind around hating housework... every time I try, I go pinging off on another way to make it a bit humiliating, uncomfortable, or just fun (in a very twisted service oriented sort of way). Sigh. Maybe I'm just weird.

 

[FurryFury]

But y'all- there are so very many creative, kinky, painful, and interesting ways to DO boring things like housework. I can't wrap my mind around hating housework... every time I try, I go pinging off on another way to make it a bit humiliating, uncomfortable, or just fun (in a very twisted service oriented sort of way). Sigh. Maybe I'm just weird.

No, different strokes for different folks, that's all, I think you have some great ideas!

Fury

 

[SilencedNeeds]

 

[catalina_francisco]

*grins and shrugs* I'm a sadist. I make people do things that hurt. Or they don't like. They don't submit, they don't get played with...

LOL, I actually like housework most times, especially cleaning...what upsets me is being stopped in the middle of it for something else, or asked to leave it go for now...just about turns me into a wreck these days!!

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

With all this talk about housework, I do want to remember that the OP is talking about a sex slave...not the same thing as devising evil ways to do the laundry, eh? Maybe we can come up with suitable punishments for a bedroom-only relationship?

 

[saw_man1]

With all this talk about housework, I do want to remember that the OP is talking about a sex slave...not the same thing as devising evil ways to do the laundry, eh? Maybe we can come up with suitable punishments for a bedroom-only relationship?

He could make her take the dishes into the bedroom and then wash them there. Very hot scene.

 

[fluiddrive]

And maybe it's just me, but the acronym "SS" is a bit odd to see. Most people think of that as a WWII-era thing, you know? If you mean sex slave, it's okay to say sex slave. You don't have to abbreviate!

Two things:
1. We work in different locations of the same quasi-military, governmental organization. We often communicate via Bus. E-mail. For that reason I like being cryptic and I guess it carried over.
2. I'm not a touch typist (archiac-I know) so it saves a key stroke here and there.

On the eyelid thing-I thought it was sweet of her to say.
I took it as a measure of intensity.

 

[chris9]

I'm not liking the housework aspects of that post at all!

It's not part of my BDSM!

SAFE WORD!!!! RED DAMN it RED!!!

Fury

Except for the Fury part on the last line this is exactly me.
I do housework if I have to, and I suppose it's possible to turn it into kinky for a while, but I'm not planning on cleaning my whole life.

Fluiddrive, since you already have one of those checklists, it might help if you fill out one for yourself. Think about what YOU would like to do, not what she might like you to do. Have her fill out one. Then you can compare. See what both of you like, are curious about, don't like doing...
Read up in the library here, or at other places around the 'net for more background information to what some like, or do. How far the control thing goes. Don't get discouraged from people telling you you're not really dominant since you're doing what she likes. If you enjoy this, and she enjoys this, and both of you want to call her your sex slave, all's well.
It's important though that both of you use this word in the same meaning. You might have seen that in general the word 'slave' is only used for a more complete power exchange, not in relation to kinky sex. If you just use it to name your kink, no problem. But if she understands this to mean a deeper power exchange, actual submitting instead of playing fun sex games, this might cause a problem between the two of you. For which only one advice remains: Communicate.
Have fun with whatever you do, and good luck.

 

[fluiddrive]

"That's What I'm Talking about,"-Kip in Napoleon Dynamite

With all this talk about housework, I do want to remember that the OP is talking about a sex slave...not the same thing as devising evil ways to do the laundry, eh? Maybe we can come up with suitable punishments for a bedroom-only relationship?

Thanks for the re-direction E.
I see I've made mistakes in my posts.
Clarifying terminiology is so important in non-spoken communications.
Ever notice how E-mail lacks nuance-your meaning can be totally misconstrued.
And I'm not into the cuteness of Emocticons.
A good writer should be percievavble.
My Apologies.

By withholding orgasms I meant taking her to the edge and then stopping.
Let her catch her breath, re-compose and then starting the tease over.

On the other hand I'd be willing to try anything that I thought she'd enjoy.
Enjoy being the key term.
I find humiliation scenes to be possibly (for me) the peak of eroticism (i.e. Having the sub pee in a bowl-as suggested by Pan. earlier).
If that's not enjoyable to my partner then there is really no point.

I consider the basis of a sexual relationship to be mutual sexual fullfillment.
As far as engaging in an activity because it is what I (alone) enjoy, or because it meets my needs (and only my needs) (please see my first post-Been there, done that, didn't feel too good about it in the long run).

To that end my plan is to use the checklist provided elsewhere on this site (and recommended in another thread for the same reason) for BDSM preferances.
I'm going to give it to her and see what/how she wants to pursue her request to be my "sex slave" (SS).
After all it may have been just dirty talk.
As I said earlier the extent of our BDSM career so far has been tying up/handcuffs.
To date we've mostly had wild, extended, relatively (considering I'm at the BDSM Talk board) conventional sex.

All that being said, you've (all posters) been kind and patient with a neophyte.
Your input is appreciated.

 

[Exogenous]

By withholding orgasms I meant taking her to the edge and then stopping.
Let her catch her breath, re-compose and then starting the tease over.

Whoa, for me, that is not a punishment...I love that.

As far as engaging in an activity because it is what I (alone) enjoy, or because it meets my needs (and only my needs) (please see my first post-Been there, done that, didn't feel too good about it in the long run).

To each his/her own, but I thought that a main ingredient in submission; the Dom is pleased whether or not he grants his sub sexual satisfaction. Nothing excites me more than to please...regardless if my physical needs are satisfied. While I hope the Dom would allow my physical satisfaction, the ultimate is what pleases the Dom. My experience thus far is that I am well rewarded if he is satisfied, and wow, it has been incredible, whether or not I "get mine".