Sexual implausibilities.

[Liar]

Yah, it's a writing topic. Imagine that.




So, I took my work-in-progress smut novel and showed a few initial chapters to a friend of mine for evaluation. And the reaction was genrally positive, but there was one thing that bothered him.

"Dude, that sex part in chapter 3, you know it doesn't really work that way."

"What do you mean?"

"It's her ass. You can't just have the guy just barge in there with nothing but a little jungle juice on the wiener. It takes time, got to start with a finger, have some decent lube, and go really slow. Doing it like you wrote it is just impossible."

"Don't tell me it's impossible. Maybe for most women, but not for all. I've done it just like that, so I should know. I thought I had to be all super careful too, but she just told me to push, so I did. "

"Who was it?"

"It was... Fuck off, I'm not telling you that!"

"Ok ok, chill. But you know, even if you're right, you're going to have readers like me going 'Dude, you can't do it like that' when they read it."

"Yeah... maybe you're right. I'll have to think about it."

"You do that. ... ... ... But seriously, with who did you..."

"Shut. Up."

"...alrighty."




Ok, I just wanted to share that little conversation with you because it was kinda the most interresting thing that happened on this dull day. But there's a discussion topic in all that yapping too:

Here I am with a a scene, a description of sex as it were, that I know is not impossible, but not everybody is going to accept it, because it's implausible. I don't want to change it, because it's part of a character construct (albeit not an essential part), but I don't want readers to go "Dude..."

Ever had that happen? In sex or in other narrative descriptions. And how did, or how would you handle it?

 

[rgraham666]

Not yet.

 

[Recidiva]

The usual implausibles that I encounter are the ones where people have submerged sex, under water, either chlorine or salt, and can't figure out how problematic that can be.

 

[Aurora Black]

I've had that issue come up once in an upcoming story, but that's what good editing is for.

 

[CharleyH]

Yah, it's a writing topic. Imagine that.




So, I took my work-in-progress smut novel and showed a few initial chapters to a friend of mine for evaluation. And the reaction was genrally positive, but there was one thing that bothered him.

"Dude, that sex part in chapter 3, you know it doesn't really work that way."

"What do you mean?"

"It's her ass. You can't just have the guy just barge in there with nothing but a little jungle juice on the wiener. It takes time, got to start with a finger, have some decent lube, and go really slow. Doing it like you wrote it is just impossible."

"Don't tell me it's impossible. Maybe for most women, but not for all. I've done it just like that, so I should know. I thought I had to be all super careful too, but she just told me to push, so I did. "

"Who was it?"

"It was... Fuck off, I'm not telling you that!"

"Ok ok, chill. But you know, even if you're right, you're going to have readers like me going 'Dude, you can't do it like that' when they read it."

"Yeah... maybe you're right. I'll have to think about it."

"You do that. ... ... ... But seriously, with who did you..."

"Shut. Up."

"...alrighty."




Ok, I just wanted to share that little conversation with you because it was kinda the most interresting thing that happened on this dull day. But there's a discussion topic in all that yapping too:

Here I am with a a scene, a description of sex as it were, that I know is not impossible, but not everybody is going to accept it, because it's implausible. I don't want to change it, because it's part of a character construct (albeit not an essential part), but I don't want readers to go "Dude..."

Ever had that happen? In sex or in other narrative descriptions. And how did, or how would you handle it?

LOL what an entertaining story. However? If you are going to go up her ass? MUCH lube or her juices are needed. I had it up mine ONCE and it was the worst excperience of my life dry - could not walk for days - and OUCH. I wrote something under a pseudonym if you want it - an anal story- no lube, just rain and being turned on? If you want a female take? Just send it - I will read and tell you my honest opinion.

 

[Liar]

LOL what an entertaining story. However? If you are going to go up her ass? MUCH lube or her juices are needed. I had it up mine ONCE and it was the worst excperience of my life dry - could not walk for days - and OUCH.

Yah, that's the reaction I risk getting from readers. There's some lube (juices) in the story, but not much. And people are going to say "MUCH lube or her juices are needed" because that's what's usually needed. And still, it's a pretty exact retelling of a real-life scene. (But with other characters, it ain't no auto-bio.)

 

[CharleyH]

Yah, that's the reaction I risk getting from readers. There's some lube (juices) in the story, but not much. And people are going to say "MUCH lube or her juices are needed" because that's what's usually needed. And still, it's a pretty exact retelling of a real-life scene. (But with other characters, it ain't no auto-bio.)

Well you may have liked it and I am certain I told him I did at that age until I knew better? Is your story first person?

 

[Liar]

Well you may have liked it and I am certain I told him I did at that age until I knew better? Is your story first person?

Like I said, it was I who tried to take it slow and she who nagged me to speed it up. And trust me, this was no nervous youngster trying to please, she knew exactly what she wanted and was doing.

And nopes, third. But with focus on the guy's thoughts, since the whole story is about him figuring out what that girl is all about.

 

[CharleyH]

Like I said, it was I who tried to take it slow and she who nagged me to speed it up. And trust me, this was no nervous youngster trying to please, she knew exactly what she wanted and was doing.

And nopes, third. But with focus on the guy's thoughts, since the whole story is about him figuring out what that girl is all about.

Okay been there and done it with fisting. WOW - and WHOA! And WOW.

 

[3113]

Yah, that's the reaction I risk getting from readers. There's some lube (juices) in the story, but not much. And people are going to say "MUCH lube or her juices are needed" because that's what's usually needed. And still, it's a pretty exact retelling of a real-life scene. (But with other characters, it ain't no auto-bio.)

Here's the deal: TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION.

Repeat that a few times. There are men and women who are...gifted with natural juciness. And this being erotica, you CAN get away with this if you'd like to mention that this woman has such a gift. Just like you can get away with men with enormous cocks who can shoot their cum several feet and then cum again five minutes later and bang seven women on one night...etc.

But you can't possibly try to make this a "realistic story" if you do that. Even if it really happened and you saw it. Because.....

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION.

What that means is that there are things we have to believe in real life that we'd NEVER believe if we read it in a book. An Ocean Liner deemed "unsinkable" and captained by a famous captain on his last voyage is struck just right by an iceberg and goes down killing off some of the richest and most famous folk on earth....please. No one would believe that in fiction.

But it happened.

So here's the question: What kind of story are you trying to tell. If it's just a stroke story, then you can be as improbable as you like. Stroke stories are like that. All sorts of crazy, improbable things that the reader goes along with because they're getting a good stroke out of it.

But if it's not a stroke story, if it's a "realistic" story, then something IMPROBABLE will stop the reader dead in their tracks. That's the important part. Not your wanting to keep it as is damn it! (would you like to pout and cross your arms and tell us that it's your story?)...but whether it will stop the reader, stop the action, stop everything.

If it's going to do that...then you are NOT serving the story. You're hurting it. And a writer should NEVER do that to a story.

So what serves the story? That's what you should do. Decide what kind of a story it is, then decide if it really needs to be as you wrote it, or changed to be less "improbable."

 

[cantdog]

3113 is right, man. Let go.

Just my take on it. But friendly-meant.

 

[Liar]

(would you like to pout and cross your arms and tell us that it's your story?)

Um...would I have even started this thread then?

Good points. So, your advice (sans the CAPS and the !!!'s - you seem more fired up about this than my characters even ) is: improbabilities don't work in fiction, edit them out. What I suspect too.

I'll probably need something else out of the ordinary at that point though, to keep the right tension between the characters going. Back to brainstorming. It's not exactly highbrow prose (think pulp), but enough non-stroke to make an effort.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yah, it's a writing topic. Imagine that.




So, I took my work-in-progress smut novel and showed a few initial chapters to a friend of mine for evaluation. And the reaction was genrally positive, but there was one thing that bothered him.

"Dude, that sex part in chapter 3, you know it doesn't really work that way."

"What do you mean?"

"It's her ass. You can't just have the guy just barge in there with nothing but a little jungle juice on the wiener. It takes time, got to start with a finger, have some decent lube, and go really slow. Doing it like you wrote it is just impossible."

"Don't tell me it's impossible. Maybe for most women, but not for all. I've done it just like that, so I should know. I thought I had to be all super careful too, but she just told me to push, so I did. "

"Who was it?"

"It was... Fuck off, I'm not telling you that!"

"Ok ok, chill. But you know, even if you're right, you're going to have readers like me going 'Dude, you can't do it like that' when they read it."

"Yeah... maybe you're right. I'll have to think about it."

"You do that. ... ... ... But seriously, with who did you..."

"Shut. Up."

"...alrighty."




Ok, I just wanted to share that little conversation with you because it was kinda the most interresting thing that happened on this dull day. But there's a discussion topic in all that yapping too:

Here I am with a a scene, a description of sex as it were, that I know is not impossible, but not everybody is going to accept it, because it's implausible. I don't want to change it, because it's part of a character construct (albeit not an essential part), but I don't want readers to go "Dude..."

Ever had that happen? In sex or in other narrative descriptions. And how did, or how would you handle it?

DON'T GET ME STARTED!

Okay, but seriously, the implausible happens.
I have had butt sex that way, where nothing hurt and there was no time for preperation. I' had a owamn complain that I wasn't shoving hard enough- with my whole fist inside of her. Weird sex, I call that!

So, my solution would be for some dialogue;

"Um, I don't have any lube"
"Don't worry about it" she said; "Just, you know- push."
"Are you sure?" I said in horror- only momentary, of course, because she...

Let there be a little squabble about it. It's realistic, and will solve your implausibility problem.

 

[3113]

I' had a owamn complain that I wasn't shoving hard enough- with my whole fist inside of her.

You've had such an interesting life!

 

[3113]

Good points. So, your advice...is: improbabilities don't work in fiction, edit them out.

Sorry about the caps and all My advice is actually a little more moderate: improbablities don't work in certain types of fiction. But you can have the most outrageous improbabilities in other types of fiction. So my advice is to figure out which type of fiction you've got and use the improbablities or not depending.

 

[S-Des]

I started a thread like this when I first came here, trying to figure out what to do when I wrote something that I knew was possible (even factual), but I got ripped because someone else just "knew" I was wrong. I was hoping to get other's experiences about it to see what they did, but unfortunately didn't (you know these threadjackers ).

Truth is stranger than fiction. I saw a video on a site I visit all the time that had a guy with not one, but two fists inside his girlfriend. It looked like what a vet does to a horse giving birth (yuck!). So you are right, it could and probably does happen the way you described (a lot). At the same time, you have to decide if it's worth possibly annoying readers, just because you know you're right.

For me, I got ripped (and even received a couple of lower scores) on a story because several people insisted that a husband would know his wife's menstrual cycle so well that he would instantly (to the day) know if she was pregnant. Forgetting guys who can't even remember their anniversary or their wife's birthday, I lived with a woman who was so inconsistent, that she could be a month off. I was right, I refused to change it (because I felt it was important to the end of the story), and I paid for it (with no regrets).

I've had other instances where an editor or prereader complained about something and I changed it because I didn't care that much. It just depends on how important you feel it is to the story line. I do agree that you can drop a line about her physiology that would explain the situation better without changing it. For me, I wouldn't have a problem with the situation you described. I certainly wouldn't feel it made the story less "realistic".

 

[Stella_Omega]

You've had such an interesting life!

So interesting, apparently, that I can't even proofread any more...

 

[Oblimo]

When science fiction/fantasy fans argue about "realism" in unrealistic things, they're often in truth arguing about what they think is cool -- if they think something is cool, then they are willing to supsend their disbelief and accept sound effects in space. It's not "really" a matter of realism, but of asthetic.

Perhaps, in the erotic realm, when readers/authors start arguing over what is "realistic," they're really arguing over what makes them hot. Maybe your friend is truly more turned on by a slow build-up to anal sex rather than a "Come on in; I'm baking some pie!" scene (btw, using "Come on in; I'm baking some pie!" as a euphamism for a sudden, slamming anal sex scene was coined by standup comedian Richard Jenny. I have no idea if anyone else uses the term, but my wife and I do much to our own amusement. ). So it pulls him out of the story, not because it's unrealistic, but because he's disappointed he didn't get the treat of reading a long build-up before the act.

 

[angela146]

The usual implausibles that I encounter are the ones where people have submerged sex, under water, either chlorine or salt, and can't figure out how problematic that can be.

Um, this is a bit off topic, but sex in a swimming pool is quite possible if you apply a silicone-based, non-water-soluble lubricant before getting in the water.

I've done it. It's *really* good.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Um, this is a bit off topic, but sex in a swimming pool is quite possible if you apply a silicone-based, non-water-soluble lubricant before getting in the water.

I've done it. It's *really* good.

*takes notes*

 

[Antfarmer77]

But what about the entertainment side of it? How many books have you read where the hero gets shot, stabbed, dropped off a cliff, attack by a tiger and then tortured , but still manages to sallie forth and save the girl's virtue and the whole world from destruction? So unless it's a "how-to" manual, why not add some fantasy to it?
And seriously...dude who was she? LOL

 

[sincerely_helene]

Like I said, it was I who tried to take it slow and she who nagged me to speed it up. And trust me, this was no nervous youngster trying to please, she knew exactly what she wanted and was doing.

I love 'happy endings.'

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I've had anal without lube... I create enough... ah... fluid *ahem* in the general area that as long as he gets it wet with me first, it's not an issue... but from what I hear, generally other women aren't like this...

so I know your story is true, Liar... (ha, how's that for an oxymoron ).... but as long as you know the lube police will come after you and beat you over the head with a bunch of K-Y, post it as you like it... it's the way I like it, too!

 

[Guest]

Um, this is a bit off topic, but sex in a swimming pool is quite possible if you apply a silicone-based, non-water-soluble lubricant before getting in the water.

I've done it. It's *really* good.

Oh, so you are the woman in the next neighborhood over the teens keep spying on!

 

[angela146]

Oh, so you are the woman in the next neighborhood over the teens keep spying on!

NNNNNNNNot quite...

My husband and I frequent a resort that has private cottages with indoor swimming pools and hot tubs.