Sexless Marriages

[NomServiam]

I’m a 60 year old guy. Our intimacy went from fantastic to none in a relatively short time. Tried to talk about it so many times, and keep getting different convoluted answers that nothing rings sincere. Menopause came in and played a major role as well. But it’s been over six years now. And the only fuck it is , is a total mind fuck. Hard to look at any kind of life like this.

 

[NomServiam]

While going through menopause our sex life suffered and was almost nonexistent and then he was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease. It has completely changed our lives and how we related to one another. There has not been any intimacy or sex for more than 6 years. I’d give anything to have had a few more years, I miss him and our intimacy.

I’m still adjusting to the fact that some things are out of my control and we cannot change them.

I’m going through something very similar in my marriage. Tools for coping and or hope of improvement are becoming non existent. Would like to share with someone who maybe has an understanding if you are up for talking

 

[willy1960]

Sex surge

The thing you’re referring to in relation to women in their 40s and 50s is termed the Sex Surge - you should google it. I was on another chat site frequented by women and there were a considerable number of women commenting about it. My own marriage has been sexless over 7 years and now I find it extremely difficult. I wouldn’t say my behaviour has been entirely exemplary for the last year but I’m finding it hard to feel bad about it.

Good morning would you like to chat?

 

[Zippy66]

At least you weren't told that "I have no interest, no desire, you have a hand, handle it".... no discussion allowed after that.

i was told the same thing i feel for you I've been doing the online chats with other women, I know it's not right, but i still like the touch of a woman and I'm sick of beating off.

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Good morning would you like to chat?

That post was from 2019 ... I doubt the lady is still a Lit user

i was told the same thing i feel for you I've been doing the online chats with other women, I know it's not right, but i still like the touch of a woman and I'm sick of beating off.

Same here ... I wish I had either a lady with whom I could exchange regular naughty messages or an actual FWB for the occasional bit of fun. Sadly I'm also losing the desire for self-enjoyment.

 

[Zippy66]

That post was from 2019 ... I doubt the lady is still a Lit user

Same here ... I wish I had either a lady with whom I could exchange regular naughty messages or an actual FWB for the occasional bit of fun. Sadly I'm also losing the desire for self-enjoyment.

 

[Zippy66]

yes, I'm with you my hand doesn't seem to want to get the job done either.

 

[ueCosmic]

Im there with you!

Been in a sexless marriage for 5 years now. Was sleeping with best girlfriend but since she'd found a man I'm out in the cold. Just me, porn, and my trusty vibrator. Quick, quiet, lonely. Sucks!

Should easy to find someone new considering your a girl. Near impossible if you’re a dude.

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

Should easy to find someone new considering your a girl. Near impossible if you’re a dude.

Even fulfilling needs online (camming, sexting, chatting, roleplaying) is nearly impossible. Porn is still the safest bet.

 

[Paulwilson57]

My partner and I have been together for 22 years now. At the beginning we had sex often however in the last 4 years I'm lucky to have sex with her 3 to 4 times in a year.

Her want for sex seems to have become nonexistent. We are both currently on antidepressants with myself on a much higher dose than hers.

My sex drive has been effected but I could still have sex at least once a day. I have never cheated on her. I do find myself daily watching porn. She found my porn collection early in our time together and told me she felt betrayed and that I had cheated on her.

She is unhappy with her weight and I have tried to make her see she is still beautiful and sexy but she doesn't listen.

When we have sex I make her orgasm every time with my tongue mostly and sometimes with my fingers. She on the other hand does not like giving oral and wants me to do all the work.

I'm at a loss for what to do and have held it inside for so long. I'm waiting to see a therapist to talk me down off the ledge.

 

[Zippy66]

My partner and I have been together for 22 years now. At the beginning we had sex often however in the last 4 years I'm lucky to have sex with her 3 to 4 times in a year.

Her want for sex seems to have become nonexistent. We are both currently on antidepressants with myself on a much higher dose than hers.

My sex drive has been effected but I could still have sex at least once a day. I have never cheated on her. I do find myself daily watching porn. She found my porn collection early in our time together and told me she felt betrayed and that I had cheated on her.

She is unhappy with her weight and I have tried to make her see she is still beautiful and sexy but she doesn't listen.

When we have sex I make her orgasm every time with my tongue mostly and sometimes with my fingers. She on the other hand does not like giving oral and wants me to do all the work.

I'm at a loss for what to do and have held it inside for so long. I'm waiting to see a therapist to talk me down off the ledge.

Thats the best post about how my situation is, thanks for posting. im not on meds for depression but for anxiety

 

[sandybrooke]

So many things can lead to this libido imbalance, from either side, especially as we age. As long as it's not a straight-out, I don't love you anymore, then the first thing I recommend is, Talk About It. For example, if your partner has trouble working up the desire or ability to make love, are they willing to be part of your masturbation?
"Honey, I understand you're dealing with issues, but I'd still like you to be the main thing in my mind when I play with myself."
It's surprising how much more satisfying it is if you don't have to hide, but can do it right alongside them with just your hand on a bare ass.

Thats what happened in mine. Hot steamy lust to her hitting menopause. Masturbation was always OK in our relationship and she offered jerking off on her as an option. Till one night she said "why dont you go in the other room and do that". We sleep in seperate bedrooms now.

 

[Polranny]

Thats what happened in mine. Hot steamy lust to her hitting menopause. Masturbation was always OK in our relationship and she offered jerking off on her as an option. Till one night she said "why dont you go in the other room and do that". We sleep in seperate bedrooms now.

Pretty much the Same for me. Cause slightly different effect identical

 

[sandybrooke]

Pretty much the Same for me. Cause slightly different effect identical

I have no hate over this, it's physical. She knows Im busting a nut on my own, shes just not involved. Sometimes when we are together for a few days I tell her Im going to rub one out.

 

[Polranny]

I have no hate over this, it's physical. She knows Im busting a nut on my own, shes just not involved. Sometimes when we are together for a few days I tell her Im going to rub one out.

No such conversation here, but I am sure she knows

 

[Dhfranklin94]

My partner and I have been together for 22 years now. At the beginning we had sex often however in the last 4 years I'm lucky to have sex with her 3 to 4 times in a year.

Her want for sex seems to have become nonexistent. We are both currently on antidepressants with myself on a much higher dose than hers.

My sex drive has been effected but I could still have sex at least once a day. I have never cheated on her. I do find myself daily watching porn. She found my porn collection early in our time together and told me she felt betrayed and that I had cheated on her.

She is unhappy with her weight and I have tried to make her see she is still beautiful and sexy but she doesn't listen.

When we have sex I make her orgasm every time with my tongue mostly and sometimes with my fingers. She on the other hand does not like giving oral and wants me to do all the work.

I'm at a loss for what to do and have held it inside for so long. I'm waiting to see a therapist to talk me down off the ledge.

Sounds like my situation.

 

[Sams_Island]

With my first wife trying to talk was no good, she just wasn't interested in sex except very rarely on her terms.

With my current wife, she feels very guilty that her lack of desire and illness means there is no sex. We tried me masturbating whilst stroking her but it just weird to both of us, still as least she suggested it and tried. So now I'm pretty sure that she knows that often when she is having her afternoon nap I'm watching or reading porn and getting myself off but I keep it secret as I don't want her thinking of herself as a failure (which is her word for the situation).

One last shot at the "positive" outcome. Dig out that homemade porn the two of you made when all cylinders were firing together, put it into high rotation in your playlist, and let her know she's still a feature attraction. Not only will it (hopefully) make her feel better about the porn truth, it should really help you continue to consider your spouse as a sexual entity.
Don't have any old, homemade porn? Sucks to be you.
No, seriously, ;-), ask if she'll make some porn with you now in one of her flashes of confidence/libido/etc. Make sure you you shoot it to avoid anything she's sensitive about regarding her body, and have her watch it at least one time with you - and you'd better come like a geyser. :-D

 

[Gory]

I would like to Add something to the Mix of Sexless Marriage. How many women thinks or are Breast less after Cancer and Did Not Get Girls put Back change their Sex Drive? I have ask Doctors of All kinds and there is NO Studies on this Problem. I love Sex and pleasing my wife but always No and I never get to do Oral on Her. 15 years of less than 5 times a Year. But I still have Hope. Do you think the Girls not there plays a Big Role? Thanks.

 

[PicassosPleasure]

I'm 64 and our marriage has been sexless for over 4 years now due to my wife's various health conditions. Two years ago I saw no end in sight and talked frankly with my wife about my needs. She gave me a limited hall pass for married couples and single males. I was in the swinger lifestyle when we met and I gave it up for her, so she happily gave me the hall pass in return. Yes, we are still happily married

 

[HampshireBoy]

One last shot at the "positive" outcome. Dig out that homemade porn the two of you made when all cylinders were firing together, put it into high rotation in your playlist, and let her know she's still a feature attraction. Not only will it (hopefully) make her feel better about the porn truth, it should really help you continue to consider your spouse as a sexual entity.
Don't have any old, homemade porn? Sucks to be you.
No, seriously, ;-), ask if she'll make some porn with you now in one of her flashes of confidence/libido/etc. Make sure you you shoot it to avoid anything she's sensitive about regarding her body, and have her watch it at least one time with you - and you'd better come like a geyser. :-D

Lovely thought, unfortunately body issues mean that my will rarely be naked and definitely won't let me take photos or videos. Apparently her first husband never saw her naked and they used to have sex with the lights off, I at least got her to embrace lights on or in daylight. These days I only see her naked when I help her in the shower. I do have a couple of videos from when she forgot we have external CCTV and, on getting out of the hot tub, stripped off her swimming costume on the back step - but I can hardly admit to having those.

I do my best to stress how desirable I find her and how much it is her I want but it doesn't help as she has no desire for sex and it just makes her feel bad, no win situation.

 

[vastiesmith200]

I was wondering if any lady here would like to exchange photos and masturbate with me. Married for 40 years, no sex for 19. She has no interest at all.

 

[amigayorbi]

Happy yet sexless for sometime

 

[Zippy66]

it Sucks ladies and gentlemen I never dreamed i would ever be here posting in a group like this I do want to thank you guys i dont feel like the lone stranger.

 

[sandybrooke]

So we have a LARGE club of guys in sexless marriages that jerkoff a lot. Any good toys??

 

[PicassosPleasure]

So we have a LARGE club of guys in sexless marriages that jerkoff a lot. Any good toys??

Oh hell yes! A night stand drawer full, my regular partners, and a plastic container in the closet.