I think at times this site has been the lifeboat for me. If I did not have some of the connections I have made here, the loneliness aspect would be devastating. It's like living in a land where suddenly everyone refuses to speak your language (even though they can and have), and discovering someone who will and even wants to.
Exactly
100%
I am in a sexless marriage. My wife has not interest in sex at all. I feel bad but I have met up with a few guys - mutual oral.
That is funny for me. I live in a land where they speak a foreign language from me. My daily life has me misunderstanding, being misunderstood, looking up words/phrases... It is easier to just not communicate and appear as a fool or a mute.
Coming to this forum has drawn me up from severe depression.
I would love to help you
This is not a personal ad thread.
My ex wife agreed to counselling, but only saw it as an opportunity to slag me off. So counselling doesn't always solve anything Apparently I pestered her for sex all the time and it was unreasonable to want to kiss her frequently.
Didn't the counselor try to even things put?
Yes they did, but when one party doesn't really engage with the process counselling doesn't work. After a few sessions the counsellor challenged her attitude and after that my wife refused to attend.
Well, there's not much to do in that case then, if she totally refused to listen to anybody but herself.
She listened to a couple of divorced friends, same when we finally split up and sorting the divorce. Didn't even listen to her mother as apparently her mother was on my side.
She forgot that many divorced people have a very onesided view and may not be the best advicers for making a marriage work.
And if she had been open to counselling, there would have been nobody to blame. Even in the possible case that you would have come up to you being non compatible after all. You would have just stated that together andddivorced in friendly terms.
agreedFrom what I can tell after being here awhile and chatting to others, we make up the majority in here!! It always amazes me how so many of us in our 40’s & 50’s eventually find ourselves in this situation
You’re in the right place!
I'm in the situation as you, will 57 soon with high sex drive, wife has none been that way 12 years.I am totally in a sexless marriage and have been pretty much for a few years! We’re out there but we are a bit like unicorns
I am a woman in her 50’s with the sex drive of an 18 yr old boy, that’s not normal I’ve been told by female friends the same age and male friends. I should be settling down for my old age with my hormones dying a slow death, but hell no!
I feel where you are coming from, but when does your needs become important? You deserve to feel wanted , needed, and attractive. Right?It's encouraging to read that there are some men who will do counseling, at least. My own largely sexless marriage (unless I initiate and/or practically beg) has left me pretty lonely and feeling undesirable, as well... same sentiments echoed elsewhere on this page. When I've asked for us to talk with someone professionally, he completely balks. Mind you, I get hand-holding when we're out, hugs, and the occasional perfunctory peck-kisses, so I do feel some affection from him, and I'm really grateful for those touches when they happen. But my love languages are touch and words, and he is SOOO not a conversationalist, so the intimate touch of sex was a way to feel close/known/loved, you know? Now, I feel I'm starving on all fronts. Worst part is, my husband has chronic pain in pretty much any joint you can name, so I know he generally feels like shit most days, in spite of medications and treatments. And I just feel like a selfish bitch for expecting more from him when he very likely doesn't want to simply because he's hurting.
I am guessing you make your husband feel wanted, needed, and attractive. So there is probably no need to “ouch.” I also think many us understand that both partners have a responsibility in creating desire. Sounds like you are doing your part.
Positive out look on it, very good of you. I've been trying to do the same but some day's it's really tough. Good luck with it.
Thank You, very kind
My problem I’m sure is not completely uncommon but I still love my wife so much but due to health issues she can no longer have sex. I didn’t want to cheat but sometimes a man has to do what a man has to do to satisfy his needs. The hand just is not satisfying my needs anymore. I not only miss having sex but I truly miss satisfying a woman. I miss looking into a woman’s eyes when she cums. Does anyone understand and maybe relate !
Yes its hard to destroy everything over a lack of sex...been there for years.
