Sexless Marriages

[ccs29745]

You’re incorrigible

I’m not going to place a Personals type ad in here, but I think my presence and my posts here tells I’m potentially available. But this thread was never meant to be just that, also I have been here since day one and at times it was suggested we could lend ‘support’ to each other, as we all understand.

I think it's those who come in looking for hook up on a womans emotions in here that give a support thread like this one a bad rap.

Potentially available like some others in here doesn't mean you're easy though. Hate one's that think cause a woman or man having a bad time is easy pickings

 

[DDBustyBrit]

You know it!

Plus you can attest to the fact that the chassis is in good shape!

seriously - you actually did say that out loud!!

Okay so yes I can attest to this chassis, BUT...

Only because he sent me a picture, I have not road tested!!!

Yet!

 

[TTawhere]

seriously - you actually did say that out loud!!

Okay so yes I can attest to this chassis, BUT...

Only because he sent me a picture, I have not road tested!!!

Yet!

Tornado season is coming...

(Did I misspell something?)

 

[ccs29745]

I find that my birthday and anniversary are the two times where it hurts the most, sure it sucks every time I get told no or try to start it and she stops me, but those two days just suck for me. I don’t even try on them anymore either, I’m sorry that they are in the same month.

It does suck. Birthdays and anniversary come 3 months together. Quarter of the year sucks. Least I have this thread and my porn to keep my hope alive.

 

[ccs29745]

So another round of talking with her and still nothing, she has said she wants to try again but there is no effort on her part. She still stops me when I try or uses a different excuse. I totally understand not wanting too especially with her back , new job, and all the stuff that she’s doing to help her dad after his stroke, I get it. Although she makes no effort to initiate sex, or go to the doctor so they can try to figure out what’s wrong with her back instead of just taking all the piles they gave her last time. Just frustrated and doing things my self is not working, feels like i do that more often than I used to, maybe My drive is just going crazy right now. Ugh just needed to vent a bit thanks for letting me, hopefully everybody is having a good day, I’m gonna try to

Take her to a nice dinner, be romantic, but don't rush it. Maybe she'll come around some.

I've tried this and get questioned as to what is wrong this time. Lol

 

[willy1960]

hello Spirited Lady

 

[willy1960]

I just told mine we don"t get this worked out I am moving on she changed her thought"s quickly

 

[ccs29745]

Oh I’ve done that, all the things she’s wanted me to do, take it slow and still nothing, and I have gotten questioned about things too. I’ll keep trying though just really want somewhere to share some of this crazy energy I get lol. Maybe I’ll try to post an ad again, although I did get called a looser on my last one, I know it’s the internet and I really shouldn’t take that so hard but sometimes you do. I appreciate the advice

Know how you feel. Buy flowers, asked why, they're only going to die. Buy edible arrangements, fusses we don't eat it all. Want to take to special dinner, end up away same old place. She won't try new stuff a lot of the time.

I know im not the best husband in the world, nor do I want to be, but I do try to be a good/ decent husband

 

[dougmarting]

Yep. Same situation over this way. Husband has t been intimate (not even hugs or kisses) for a bit over six years when he told me he’s now asexual.

I’ll go with others and say that while I abstained and behaved for six years... not so good a behavior as of this year. I have needs and not ready to live a life without sex.

VIVA LA SURGE!

I totally understand. I am in a sexless marriage as well - going on 5 years now without any sex. Had sex 1 time in 7 years. We should be our own FWB's

MWM, 48, Living in TX. If you have kik dmarting2008

 

[dougmarting]

51 female who can join this same boat.
My sex drive is stronger than it’s ever been.
My Hub not so much. It’s going on 6 months.
Self love has kept me going, however, it’s not
the same. Midwest here.

Stop by and say "Hi" I'm here

 

[Splendoury]

I've been lurking in this thread for a while, and I wonder if anyone is in the same situation as me.
Married 18 years, I've always had a higher libido than my husband, though over the years, sometimes one or the other of us would have a higher drive. I realized there was a rhythm to it, and didn't worry too much about it. The children were certainly a big hindrance in their younger years.

 

[talkeasy5813]

So another round of talking with her and still nothing, she has said she wants to try again but there is no effort on her part. She still stops me when I try or uses a different excuse. I totally understand not wanting too especially with her back , new job, and all the stuff that she’s doing to help her dad after his stroke, I get it. Although she makes no effort to initiate sex, or go to the doctor so they can try to figure out what’s wrong with her back instead of just taking all the piles they gave her last time. Just frustrated and doing things my self is not working, feels like i do that more often than I used to, maybe My drive is just going crazy right now. Ugh just needed to vent a bit thanks for letting me, hopefully everybody is having a good day, I’m gonna try to

I’m hoping for the best for you. My situation is very similar. I’m using my vibrator 2-7 times per week because my husband can’t get an erection anymore and won’t get treatment for his leg pain, or for other medical issues. I’ve stopped asking him to see his doctor and I have stopped asking him to hug me or kiss me because he doesn’t even want to be the affectionate husband he was before. I stopped trying to initiate sex a long time ago. I’d be happy if he’d at least initiate a hug. We’ve been through couples therapy and all that. Nothing works. We talked earlier this year and I told him that I am going to get my needs met with other men. He has accepted it.

 

[Mrifonly]

I have told him he's welcome to find a girlfriend. He jokes, "I'm lazy. Find one for me?"

I'm in my mid 40's, and definitely experiencing a sex surge. I've even started taking OTC meds (Claritin D) off label to control my libido that has no outlet.

What a dilemma!

I think you have the solution to your dilemma ... if he gets to have a girlfriend, you should at least get to have an online friend (or friends) ... and irl too if you want it.

 

[Crownvic]

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary and a week before was my birthday, and he wouldn’t even touch me. I’m not sad about it anymore though. A year ago I would have probably cared, but I don’t anymore. I just know I can’t live my life like this.

Only 8 yrs..wow..that’s rough...that wouldn’t happen with me...

 

[DDBustyBrit]

I’ve only been married for 8 years, but we’ve been together for nearly 14 years. I definitely feel weird now when my husband tries to touch me. He hardly ever touches me or kisses me, etc., so when he actually does I’m not into it at all. :/

I've been lurking in this thread for a while, and I wonder if anyone is in the same situation as me.
Married 18 years, I've always had a higher libido than my husband, though over the years, sometimes one or the other of us would have a higher drive. I realized there was a rhythm to it, and didn't worry too much about it. The children were certainly a big hindrance in their younger years.

But now...it's been about 4 years, and it's not possible for me to be attracted to my husband anymore. We mated in captivity (for the Perel fans) for too long, and now he seeems like my brother.
I am starved for physical contact, but I recoil when he touches me beyond a friendly hug, and I do not believe that will ever change.

I have told him he's welcome to find a girlfriend. He jokes, "I'm lazy. Find one for me?"

I'm in my mid 40's, and definitely experiencing a sex surge. I've even started taking OTC meds (Claritin D) off label to control my libido that has no outlet.

What a dilemma!

You ladies are not alone, I am in the exact same situation as you both. My husbands lack of interest has totally killed any attraction for me. The last time we even got close I didn’t get turned on, and anyone who knows me knows that’s serious, as I’m always horny!

I also have the highest sex drive I have ever had at age 53 and post menopausal - go figure. I’m getting very close to just telling him, I need a lover deal with it! We are now about 18 months out from the last time and only my relationships here have kept me sane!

Sorry to read you’re in the same situ, but you are most definitely not alone

 

[Ashcurious]

So sorry for what you’re experiencing DDBustyBrit. Married for more than thirty years, we haven’t made love for ten of those years, despite my best efforts to create the right environment. But it isn’t just the sex, its the lack of any intimate affection, the holding of hands, touching an arm, playfully caressing around the home. I miss it greatly and now long to be in the arms of a woman who simply longs to be touched.
Ashley

 

[sinfulpleasure67]

You ladies are not alone, I am in the exact same situation as you both. My husbands lack of interest has totally killed any attraction for me. The last time we even got close I didn’t get turned on, and anyone who is knows me knows that’s serious, as I’m always horny!

I also have the highest sex drive I have ever had at age 53 and post menopausal - go figure. I’m getting very close to just telling him, I need a lover deal with it! We are now about 18 months out from the last time and only my relationships here have kept me sane!

Sorry to read you’re in the same situ, but you are most definitely not alone

I am in the same situation. It has been about 2 years for me. I’m honestly not even sure. It might be longer. I have simply lost track it has bee so long. Wife has zero interest and at this point I am not sure how it would feel if the opportunity presented itself. Would it be wired? Would I be into it? I feel like we are basically roommates at this point. I’m lucky if I get even a welcome home peck when I walk in the door at the end of the day. a pretty shitty feeling to say the least and it has definitely taken a toll on my confidence and self image. The feeling that the person who you chose and who chose you to spend your life with & have children with has no interest in any kind of intimacy with you is truly soul crushing and leaves me feeling completely empty inside. Hell, I am not even sure how I would react if given the opportunity with another woman it’s been so long. I’d probably be a bumbling, stammering idiot.
This thread, while making me realize I am not alone, gives little solace.

 

[ccs29745]

Odd thought

Was just thinking what was worse. The fact I've turned down chances to cheat on wife and she'd never know, or the fact I turned down more chances than the times my wife and I have made love/ had sex in part 4 years. Lol

 

[TTawhere]

You’ve got it bad, bud.

I have no idea how many offers I was on the receiving end of until I started paying attention to women’s signals. Was seriously flirted with at Home Depot of all places yesterday afternoon!

 

[Hornady]

I guess I've found common ground here while not completely sexless, sex in my marriage is becoming ever less frequent, and less and less meaningful. I love my wife dearly, she's awesome, sexy, and a great wife and mom... but it's like sex doesnt even matter to her anymore. Every once in a while she'll just kind of placate me and we'll have boring, missionary sex while she yawns (seriously). At 33 years old, I'm not at all ready to just stop having sex, but I'm not leaving her either. It's like every other aspect of our relationship is great. That's what brings me to this site, and reading the stories here.

I have a ton of hobbies and interests, anything outdoors, hunting, fishing, canyoneering, shooting, etc, as well as sports and I'm a bit of a techy nerd too. I make friends with everyone, super easy to talk and joke with

Not looking for a real physical hookup, but would love to chat with women in similar age range and situation, send me a dm

 

[ccs29745]

You’ve got it bad, bud.

I have no idea how many offers I was on the receiving end of until I started paying attention to women’s signals. Was seriously flirted with at Home Depot of all places yesterday afternoon!

They say a home improvement store best place to pick up a lady. Lol

 

[TTawhere]

They say a home improvement store best place to pick up a lady. Lol

I appear to need to do some serious renovations.

 

[philos]

Is there some kind of equation for how many refusals you have to take before it’s ok to give up on the relationship? How many before you can consider the relationship now an open one?

 

[ccs29745]

Is there some kind of equation for how many refusals you have to take before it’s ok to give up on the relationship? How many before you can consider the relationship now an open one?

Wondered about an open relationship, but something about it don't sit well with me. Not sure what it is.

 

[NotASavior]

IMHO if you want to give up on the relationship it would be better if you did. I had lack of sex but not lack if love. I still want to be with her even if that means zero sex.