Sex Toys and the Afterlife

[lucky-E-leven]

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Delightful I'll bring the floggers as well ... just in case ... one never knows when one might need one. Or two. Or a dozen.

*yawn* Oh dear. Sleep time for me though. Let's raid the footlocker tomorrow.

Shanglan

I think I'm in love. *swoon*

Yes, I'm off to finish something and then hitting the sack as well. Dream naughty, flank slapping dreams and I'll see you on the morrow.



~lucky

 

[rikaaim]

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I love the way they look, but it's obvious to me that you don't partake in the joy they bring, otherwise you'd be collecting them for the sheer feel of them. *drool*



I hereby announce to you all that I want to be buried with my glass. Yup. That's it. No two ways about it. Mmm-Hmm. (Especially the one with etched flames....)

*nods*

~lucky

Honestly, I've never had the pleasure of owning one, or there is about a 99% chance that I would try it out. I've tested every other toy I ever bought. I like the ones that need batteries ...*thinks to self, "Did I just say that out loud?"*

 

[rikaaim]

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I'll bring them all. Do you want the rest of the footlocker contents as well?

Shanglan

I would be terribly disappointed if I didn't even get an invite. If I remember correctly, Shanglan did make comments of a giant beaver mention, this would seem to be the perfect event.

 

[TheEarl]

I've arranged very recently for a friend of mine to come online and tell you all if anything happened to me. The internet is impersonal and personal at the same time and I know some of you very well. The last thing I'd want to do is just fade away.

The Earl

 

[impressive]

I'm leaving my Lit page link in my will -- and I want it published in my obituary.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I'm leaving my Lit page link in my will -- and I want it published in my obituary.

That's a great idea... How about read at your memorial in place of a eulogy or sermon?

 

[impressive]

That's a great idea... How about read at your memorial in place of a eulogy or sermon?

Better yet -- a reenactment! Auditions will be held soon.

 

[rikaaim]

Better yet -- a reenactment! Auditions will be held soon.

Is your santa AV a main prop?

 

[impressive]

Is your santa AV a main prop?

Santa appears nowhere in any of my stories or poems (to date), as you will discover when you get further down your long, long reading list.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

An elderly senior citizen-type lady I work with said she wanted to get a vibrator, but she couldn't do it because she didn't want her children to find it when she died.

I told her to leave a note with it, saying it was a neck massager. Really!

That got me to thinking what would happen if I died... what would my mom think of my dildo collection? Would my BF dispose of my porn before my mom got here or hide it and keep it as a remembrance?

What about my self-written smut? Would it be lost... or maybe someone would publish it and I'd be, like, post-humously famous?

Should I leave instructions or something, in the event of my death, for my smut stories?

Maybe I'm sick but I find this kind of thing hilarious, imagining the look on my family's faces.

Yes, I need help.

I definitely would make the five hour drive before your mom, we all know how long it takes her to get ready to do anything, lol.
Though, that's not to say your SO's parents wouldn't be right over. Hehe.

As written smut goes, I'm pretty open about my writing and don't really care who reads it when I'm dead. I trust my mom and Carson to make the right decision, so no worries there.

A few years ago, my ex-boyfriend died and he had a considerable amount of letters, stories, poetry, and photos of me that were very personal. These were things meant only for his eyes, so after the initial shock of his death, I was petrified. He lived with his elderly grandparents and had a new girlfriend, so there was no way for me to get in the house and get my stuff.

The night of the funeral, his best friend brought me the box of things, along with some cd's I forgot my ex had borrowed and never returned. The friend had never really liked me when I was dating my ex, so it was a huge gesture for him.

He told me that moments after he found out about my ex's death he had gone to his room to remove anything the grandparents didn't need to see. Seems they, like a lot of best friends, had a pact too. He said he'd removed boxes of kinky porn films and magazines, dildos and lube, and other things he had no idea my ex had. We got drunk together and laughed about our friend's various kinks we knew about and the ones we didn't.

When my ex's grandpa died the next year, his family had a big estate auction. I'm always thankful that my things came back to me and I didn't have to go bid on them. Just the thought of my smut being waved around by an auctioneer gives me the willies.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

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Just the thought of my smut being waved around by an auctioneer gives me the willies.

Probably would've given him a woody, had he known what he was wavin' around.

~lucky

 

[OhMissScarlett]

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Probably would've given him a woody, had he known what he was wavin' around.

~lucky

I would've hoped it brought more money than boxes of Grandma's old Tupperware. Maybe I'm just egotistical.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

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I would've hoped it brought more money than boxes of Grandma's old Tupperware. Maybe I'm just egotistical.

I dunno. Just earlier in this very thread was an old uncle with a suitcase full of precious glass dildoes. I might have to opt for the tupperware anyway, just on the off chance that the old lady was a closet masturbator extraordinaire.

Glad to see you back.

~lucky

 

[OhMissScarlett]

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I dunno. Just earlier in this very thread was an old uncle with a suitcase full of precious glass dildoes. I might have to opt for the tupperware anyway, just on the off chance that the old lady was a closet masturbator extraordinaire.

Glad to see you back.

~lucky

Hey thanks, it's good to be back.

One can never have too much Tupperware or too many sex toys. Rules to live by.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

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Hey thanks, it's good to be back.

One can never have too much Tupperware or too many sex toys. Rules to live by.

Amen, sistah! Why aren't we roommates?

~lucky

 

[OhMissScarlett]

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Amen, sistah! Why aren't we roommates?

~lucky

 

[BlackShanglan]

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Dream naughty, flank slapping dreams and I'll see you on the morrow.

Mission accomplished. Went to bed with visions of something rather more pleasant than sugarplums.

Shanglan

 

[lucky-E-leven]

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Mission accomplished. Went to bed with visions of something rather more pleasant than sugarplums.

Shanglan

Me too!

http://www.addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/zensiert/3196.gif

~lucky

 

[carsonshepherd]

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Hey thanks, it's good to be back.

One can never have too much Tupperware or too many sex toys. Rules to live by.

How about tupperware sex toys? Do they make those?

(sorry... cold medicine...)

 

[RebeccaLeah]

I already (unfortunetly) know what my father and his wife do with my toys.....*sigh* Still broken hearted, my first vibe was thrown away long before it even hit its prime.

I, personally, am more worried about someone coming across my reverse pliers and ring collection. Now where the bloody hell would she have worn these?
That would be the only part that would shock my mom, well at this point in my collection....it will be growing rapidly as soon as I'm out of this house though.

OH! I want to go to a sex toy tea party. Like the ladies that sell tupperware or crystal at little get togethers, they have them for sex toys too.....I wanna go to one!

 

[logophile]

OH! I want to go to a sex toy tea party. Like the ladies that sell tupperware or crystal at little get togethers, they have them for sex toys too.....I wanna go to one!

I had one of those last March! It was so much fun. Of course it helps that the women I invited were all childbirth professionals and as such are very in tune with their bodies. We had a blast with all of the lotions and creams. And when it came time to look at the vibes and dildoes, there was laughter and cheering and first hand testimonials.

If you don't get invited to one before you move out, you should definitely book one when you get into your own place. But, you should know that most of the companies out there think of their products as "marital aids" to be used with your (male) partner. If that's not you, be sure to tell the consultant that when you talk to her initially so she can adjust her presentation appropriately.

 

[BlackShanglan]

But, you should know that most of the companies out there think of their products as "marital aids" to be used with your (male) partner.

So Carson can go and smile sweetly at her? I'd like to see that Five gets you ten she bolts before "question time."

Shanglan

 

[cantdog]

 

[carsonshepherd]

So Carson can go and smile sweetly at her? I'd like to see that Five gets you ten she bolts before "question time."

Shanglan

Aw! I wanna go! I wanna go!

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I actually was invited to one of those so-called lingerie and "other stuff" parties. I should've gone just to be really blunt about everything and make witty comments. Unfortunately the party was being hosted by someone that Carson and I both hate. This is a person I can't imagine having sex and would rather not even discuss sex with. Though it would've been fun if Carson went with me. I'd love to hear his sex toy commentary in a room full of soccer moms.