Sex Toys and the Afterlife

[carsonshepherd]

An elderly senior citizen-type lady I work with said she wanted to get a vibrator, but she couldn't do it because she didn't want her children to find it when she died.

I told her to leave a note with it, saying it was a neck massager. Really!

That got me to thinking what would happen if I died... what would my mom think of my dildo collection? Would my BF dispose of my porn before my mom got here or hide it and keep it as a remembrance?

What about my self-written smut? Would it be lost... or maybe someone would publish it and I'd be, like, post-humously famous?

Should I leave instructions or something, in the event of my death, for my smut stories?

Maybe I'm sick but I find this kind of thing hilarious, imagining the look on my family's faces.

Yes, I need help.

 

[rikaaim]

I don't care what people think about me in that regards. They don't even know me, so let the shock be on them. If that's all they want to think about after I die, then did they ever really care for me?

 

[lucky-E-leven]

I have a pact with my best friend that if anything happens to me she's to collect my 'unmentionables' and dispose of them properly. I'm to do the same for her, though I think her Mom would react far worse than mine.

Is it bad that I think my Mom would be surprised not to find such paraphernalia?

~lucky

p.s. Neck massager? C'mon, buddy. Honestly.

 

[BlackShanglan]

*laugh* Well, one thing is for certain - by that point, I will be well past caring

Which is a pity, really. I want to see the face of the person who opens the footlocker.

Shanglan

 

[lucky-E-leven]

*laugh* Well, one thing is for certain - by that point, I will be well past caring

Which is a pity, really. I want to see the face of the person who opens the footlocker.

Shanglan

*jumping up and down, waving hand in air*

Me! Me! Me! I want it to be me!



~lucky

 

[logophile]

An elderly senior citizen-type lady I work with said she wanted to get a vibrator, but she couldn't do it because she didn't want her children to find it when she died.

You know, I had friends tell stories about these very things.

One good friend of mine went to the home of her dearly departed great uncle to help pack and clean. She pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and opened it to find a huge collection of glass dildos (apparently very beautiful ones). She and her boyfriend knew exactly what they were and decided to close the suitcase and shuttle it out of the house posthaste. Just as they were clicking it shut, her mom came in and eventually demanded to know what was in there. She opened it, reluctantly. Her mom let out a gasp of awe and started picking each one up and holding it to the light. With a tear in her eye, she said, "See, you just never know about some people. I never would have guessed that Uncle Joey even liked art, and here's he's a whole collection of glass sculptures. And he must have been too embarrassed to display them. He was always concerned about his image. He was such a "man's man." My friend and her boyfriend about lost it and offered to just go load the suitcase in the car...

 

[valey]

*laugh* Well, one thing is for certain - by that point, I will be well past caring

Which is a pity, really. I want to see the face of the person who opens the footlocker.

Shanglan

Agreed!!!

Although, I think there'd be a fight amongst my family as to who exactly is to go through my stuff! None of them would be game to!

 

[cantdog]

Feet of clay are universal, but most people having to discover them in the recently dead are not altogether well versed in the universality of it all.

And what, indeed, of your porn stories? What would you like to have done about them? Is there someone you'd want to have delete them off the site(s) they are on? Or try to publish some of them somehow?

Maybe you ought to make arrangements. Who thinks of these things?

 

[carsonshepherd]

Feet of clay are universal, but most people having to discover them in the recently dead are not altogether well versed in the universality of it all.

And what, indeed, of your porn stories? What would you like to have done about them? Is there someone you'd want to have delete them off the site(s) they are on? Or try to publish some of them somehow?

Maybe you ought to make arrangements. Who thinks of these things?

First of all, I love your av. I love you, in fact...

My best friend OhMissScarlett and I have a similar pact as Lucky and her friend, but I worry she won't make it the 5 hours down here in time, before everything is on public display.

She pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and opened it to find a huge collection of glass dildos (apparently very beautiful ones). She and her boyfriend knew exactly what they were and decided to close the suitcase and shuttle it out of the house posthaste.

That's the funniest story I've ever heard.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

She pulled a suitcase out from under the bed and opened it to find a huge collection of glass dildos ...

I think I speak for all of us when I say ...

Where exactly are these beautiful glass dildoes now?

Shanglan

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I think I speak for all of us when I say ...

Where exactly are these beautiful glass dildoes now?

Shanglan

I so wish they were under my bed. (or in it) I adore glass.

Very expensive, though.

~lucky

 

[rikaaim]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I so wish they were under my bed. (or in it) I adore glass.

Very expensive, though.

~lucky

I know about the price myself, I wanted to collect. Not for me mind you, like you'll ever really believe that, but for the sheer beauty of some of them.

 

[BlackShanglan]

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I know about the price myself, I wanted to collect. Not for me mind you, like you'll ever really believe that, but for the sheer beauty of some of them.

They are extremely beautiful. Also, in the opinion of one humble horse, extremely pleasant in use. So beautifully smooth and unfailingly rigid ... *goes all misty eyed*

Footlocker

Shanglan

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I know about the price myself, I wanted to collect. Not for me mind you, like you'll ever really believe that, but for the sheer beauty of some of them.

I love the way they look, but it's obvious to me that you don't partake in the joy they bring, otherwise you'd be collecting them for the sheer feel of them. *drool*



I hereby announce to you all that I want to be buried with my glass. Yup. That's it. No two ways about it. Mmm-Hmm. (Especially the one with etched flames....)

*nods*

~lucky

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

They are extremely beautiful. Also, in the opinion of one humble horse, extremely pleasant in use. So beautifully smooth and unfailingly rigid ... *goes all misty eyed*

Footlocker

Shanglan

Wanna party?

~lucky

 

[BlackShanglan]

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Wanna party?

~lucky

My dear, I thought you'd never ask.

Shanglan

 

[BlackShanglan]

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I hereby announce to you all that I want to be buried with my glass. Yup. That's it. No two ways about it. Mmm-Hmm. (Especially the one with etched flames....)

*nods*

But it's so much more pleasant for the glass to be buried with you ... if my meaning there is not too obscure.

And Lucky's right. Anyone interested only in the look of glass - although admittedly it is beautiful - has not felt it. It is ... well. Beautiful. Indeed.

Shanglan

 

[logophile]

Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I think I speak for all of us when I say ...

Where exactly are these beautiful glass dildoes now?

Shanglan

Oh, I was hoping no one would ask this question because the group's simultaneous gasp of horror might register well over 5 on the richter scale.

My friend and her boyfriend duct taped the suitcase holding Great Uncle Joey's collection (he was 78 when he died...), and buried at the local dump. She was still a little shocked and just wanted to get them away from her family as quickly as possible.

Sad, isn't it?

 

[lucky-E-leven]

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My dear, I thought you'd never ask.

Shanglan

*rowr*

I'll bring mine if you bring yours.

~lucky

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

Oh, I was hoping no one would ask this question because the group's simultaneous gasp of horror might register well over 5 on the richter scale.

My friend and her boyfriend duct taped the suitcase holding Great Uncle Joey's collection (he was 78 when he died...), and buried at the local dump. She was still a little shocked and just wanted to get them away from her family as quickly as possible.

Sad, isn't it?

*best Jamie Lee Curtis shriek*



~lucky

 

[logophile]

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*rowr*

I'll bring mine if you bring yours.

~lucky

Can I come too?

 

[BlackShanglan]

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*rowr*

I'll bring mine if you bring yours.

~lucky

I'll bring them all. Do you want the rest of the footlocker contents as well?

Shanglan

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

Can I come too?

I'll be disappointed if you don't. Again and again and again...



~lucky

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I'll bring them all. Do you want the rest of the footlocker contents as well?

Shanglan

I've gleaned a little bit of a bondage fetish from your postings (at least I think I have) in which case YES would be the unanimous answer to your question!



~lucky (dying to know the contents of that foot locker)

 

[BlackShanglan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Sex Toys and the Afterlife

I've gleaned a little bit of a bondage fetish from your postings (at least I think I have) in which case YES would be the unanimous answer to your question!



~lucky (dying to know the contents of that foot locker)

Delightful I'll bring the floggers as well ... just in case ... one never knows when one might need one. Or two. Or a dozen.

*yawn* Oh dear. Sleep time for me though. Let's raid the footlocker tomorrow.

Shanglan