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I hear what you're asking. Be nice if the moral police could understand this is NOT at "should I" question. And then there's those who can't read...
I know, right? 'Cause nothing says romance like STDs or an unplanned pregnancy.
I hear what you're asking. Be nice if the moral police could understand this is NOT at "should I" question. And then there's those who can't read...
1. Can you construct some Plausible Deniability?
What's the story if you are noticed and word gets back. Can you do anything that would help the story stand up?
Evidence to support a location or day or time? A food receipt from close to the hotel? (Throw it in your glove box to rot until needed.)
2. Can you afford to tell some truth? Or, consider if some sort of preemptive strike might be worthwhile.
You get home (from the town you often go to) and say that you accidentally ran across an old friend, etc. Be prepared to answer, "Did you do drinks? Fuck?" with a straight face. If word gets back, it's your word vs. the rumor; and in your favor, you've pre-disclosed.
3. For the room, consider involving a friend and a service like priceline.com. Use their card and pay them when the reservation's accepted (priceline charges the card). Since the room is prepaid, the hotel doesn't need to run the card, etc. when you get there. Of course, you may have to kill the friend later...
4. Some cards will send phone text messages when used, particularly for a larger amount (> $50). I've also gotten calls from the fraud prevention people for an unusual amount/time/place. Could your spouse get them?
5. If your spouse monitors a card online, temporary holds can show up for a day or two add then disappear from the online statement. Hotels, rental stores, some merchants, gas stations, restaurants, etc. run the card for a "hold amount", to be later offset with an actual charge and release of the unused amount.
For example, you use a card at a gas pump for $40, check the online statement, and see "xxx gas $75". The next day this entry changes to "xxx gas $40". Or you put up a deposit at a hotel and see "xxx hotel $150" in the online statement until the day after, when they "refund" (release the hold for) the deposit.
And for the record, I am actively cheating after 12yrs of marriage, and yes it is worth it.
If you must do this, I would invest in a basic burn phone. Pre-paid. Careful as most require you to have some type of credit card info to confirm your id. If it's found, it can be considered an emergency phone. Make sure you delete numbers and texts....talk about a mess of info to be found
We would meet in a town I go to often, so it wouldn't arouse suspicion for me to be there. I am aware there are things that could go wrong, but I'm willing to take the risk.
It would be interesting to see what happens, but I doubt we ever will know what happens, if it even is as good as she thought, or if trouble did happen, few people ever post of the disasters in their lives or tell the whole truth...
I think I am reading this incorrectly. Have you been cheating for the whole 12 years, or this is a recent occurrence ?
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I will throw one out there, if this is going to be a semi-regular ongoing thing find out what perfume his wife wears and buy a bottle. Spouses (especially female ones) are very good at picking up new smells. Even if it is not something you'd buy yourself, putting on his "special" scent can help build the anticipation.