Sex advice for me and her

[1410gsr]

My gf and I have stopped having sex for some reason. We used to fuck three times a week and now it has been over two months. Last night she informed me sex was just boring now and we needed to change it up. So I'm hoping you folks can give me
Advice especially from the ladies who maybe have said this before or something do thank you ahead of time pm or posts on here are fine

 

[Eilan]

She's the one who says you need to spice things up, so you're going to have to ask her what she has in mind. Advice from random Internet strangers is no substitute for communicating with your wife.

Good luck.

 

[rbone04]

She's the one who says you need to spice things up, so you're going to have to ask her what she has in mind. Advice from random Internet strangers is no substitute for communicating with your wife.

Good luck.

Well I guess that just about covers it now doesn't it?

 

[1410gsr]

Not my wife first off.... And she asked me for ideas do im asking you

 

[maxshela]

Not my wife first off.... And she asked me for ideas do im asking you

Ya i got that right off. You said GF. New ideas depends on what you do now. So many thing, I'll just give a fiw. 3some/4some, in a car/public, different rooms, motel, tide up/blind fold, toys, ice, massage, G-spot, rim...

good luck

 

[xBuxombabex]

When we wanted to spice things up a bit we wrote 5 things that we'd like to do on pieces of paper, folded them up & put them in a jar then each time we had sex we pulled one out & tried it.

It worked for us as I was too shy to tell my husband out loud what I wanted. Now we're fully on kinky souls!

 

[1410gsr]

I really like that idea thank you

 

[JasonDaniel]

I looked at your profile, and you're only 21 years old. If she is bored with sex at this early age, we're going to run out of ideas by the time she is thirty. I think she is bored with more than just sex; it sounds like she may be bored with the relationship. Perhaps it's time, as they say, to have a meaningful talk with her about where this relationship is going.

 

[Eilan]

Not my wife first off.... And she asked me for ideas do im asking you

Wife, girlfriend, whatever--that doesn't change how both of you should approach the issue.

Sounds like the biggest problems you have are laziness and inability to communicate.

 

[1410gsr]

Yeah in lazy you're right....

 

[nakdsub]

If you're already having sexual problems...

I would steer away from having sex with others. I agree with those who said the problem pertains to more than just sex. If you're having relationship problems, having sex with other people sure isn't going to help. I also don't think it's fair to ask you for all the ideas, it should be done mutually through communication.

I like the paper in a jar thing, you can also read stories. If something interest you, print it out and leave it where your SO will see it. If he or she doesn't care for it, simply toss it, if it's something you would like to try, circle it and leave it or talk about it.

There are tons of things you can do to spice things up. Simply being romantic I believe is the best. Buy her gifts for no reason, bring flower home, take her out for a night on the town, compliment her, but sincerely, and ravish her body when she's not expecting it. Sometimes a woman just likes to be, "taken." I once ripped the crap out of one of my GF good blouses in the kitchen. At first she was pissed but I continued ripping her clothes off and pushed her over the table. The next day I bought her a new blouse.

 

[amofiga]

She's the one who says you need to spice things up, so you're going to have to ask her what she has in mind. Advice from random Internet strangers is no substitute for communicating with your wife.

Good luck.

Pretty simple but wise advice. What's spicy to some is vanilla to others and a total gross out to yet a different group.

If you two have trouble takling openly about that sort of stuff, there are books out there that offer advice and one I remember seeing was something like "500 nights of fantasy sex" or something similar. It was a collection of sealed "envelopes" that you opened and acted out. It could at least provide some possible scenarios for you to head in the right direction. The key is finding a compatible ground because if one person is happy and the other is miserable, it's doomed to failure.

 

[Thefamiliar]

Sex is boring?

I heard once someone is only boring if you yourself are boring.

How long have you been dating?

(every relationship hits this rut now and then, perhaps its time to find new things of interest outside the bedroom together and see what happens in the bedroom after)

Hmm my ex and I used to turn board games or poker into sex games, play for favors etc. It definitely gets the communication going.

Though after all the experiments, regular old boring sex tends to be the best in my opinion.

Shower together, sit around naked one day/night...designate a time frame, like no sex for a week and see who can get who to cave first...the anticipation is a huge factor thats easily forgotten. Get back to just making out sometimes.

My mind keeps thinking its more like "wanna have sex?" "meh, not really in the mood" *shrug* "ok, lets see whats on t.v" lol perhaps I am wrong, but thats what sex is boring makes me think of.

 

[luvnmyboys]

communication is the most important. talk about what you like, get her to tell you what she likes. i am always more in the mood for sex when my husband treats me like a princess or does something nice unexpectedly. little compliments and gestures go a long way. read some stories here and see if that generates any ideas. there are lots of categories so you can decide what sounds exciting for you. i love when my husband takes inititative and plans something. you could try role playing too. there's lots of options out there once you decide what excites you both.

 

[candyflossbaby]

contraception..

im just gunna throw this out there, maybe she has lost a part of her sex drive due to the side effects of a contraceptive...is she on the pill, injection or anything else that could change her hormones and make her lose her drive?
im speaking from experience...being young myself, sex didnt bore me, but i never felt like actually doing anything because the injection made me lose all interest in it. As soon as i came off it, my sex drive has went through the roof....
just something to think about.
x

 

[silverwhisper]

sweeterika is fond of saying that problems in the bedroom generally have their causes outside of the bedroom.

so my question is what's changed? or is that the problem, that nothing's changed?

ed

 

[Connubium]

Maybe not ask a group of 50+ men who can't remember the last time they got any from their wife let alone from a 21 year old woman.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you want, you can pm me and I'll give you some advice, my answers are usually blunt but I'm honest.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Maybe not ask a group of 50+ men who can't remember the last time they got any from their wife let alone from a 21 year old woman.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you want, you can pm me and I'll give you some advice, my answers are usually blunt but I'm honest.

I'd say PM her just for the sake of being able to PM her. Plus, she's rather friendly too.

 

[JasonDaniel]

Maybe not ask a group of 50+ men who can't remember the last time they got any from their wife let alone from a 21 year old woman.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if you want, you can pm me and I'll give you some advice, my answers are usually blunt but I'm honest.

LOL, No offense, but your post is one of the most amusing I have seen for a while. "group of 50+ men who can't remember the last time they got any" Most in the 50+ group are less inhibited and get more sex than you do. And just about any sex act you can imagine, you'll find those in the 50+ crowd that have been there, done that, and more often than not, repeatedly in the last 50 years.

I will share with you an anecdote that illustrates the difference between how young people and old people think.

There was an old bull and a young bull standing on top of a hill over-looking a herd of cows. The young bull said to the old bull, "Let's run down the hill and get us a cow. To which the old bull responded, "Let's walk down the hill and get'em all."

Don't worry though, when you reach 50, just like the rest of us, you will look back and realize just how little you really did know. When it comes to enjoying sex, a person doesn't even get started until they are 40. Twenty-one year old women are sexy and beautiful, but in the bedroom, give me a woman with experience anytime.

Thanks for a good laugh.

 

[analgirl69]

LOL, No offense, but your post is one of the most amusing I have seen for a while. "group of 50+ men who can't remember the last time they got any" Most in the 50+ group are less inhibited and get more sex than you do. And just about any sex act you can imagine, you'll find those in the 50+ crowd that have been there, done that, and more often than not, repeatedly in the last 50 years.

I will share with you an anecdote that illustrates the difference between how young people and old people think.

There was an old bull and a young bull standing on top of a hill over-looking a herd of cows. The young bull said to the old bull, "Let's run down the hill and get us a cow. To which the old bull responded, "Let's walk down the hill and get'em all."

Don't worry though, when you reach 50, just like the rest of us, you will look back and realize just how little you really did know. When it comes to enjoying sex, a person doesn't even get started until they are 40. Twenty-one year old women are sexy and beautiful, but in the bedroom, give me a woman with experience anytime.

Thanks for a good laugh.

Hey, I know what I am doing in the bedroom (internet can teach you what you want to know these days. ) and will do everything and anything. I tried pretty much everything I've ever seen suggested besides fair few things and I actually give my parents, as well as many others advice...bedroom or other, such as taxes..etc..
I'm 22.
I wasn't fond of the 51+ comment either, but I'm not fond of the younger generalization either. I never am. I think it's about the person. And I have met many older people who went their whole lives who still know little.. but again, that is the person. Sure, you learn a little more with age, but people don't change much. An idiot when they are 20 is an idiot when they are 40, 60, 80..... As is someone who is intelligent. Most people, unless they are ACTING like an idiot, don't magically get smarter with age. So people who are 20 aren't automatically clueless. About life or sex.
And yes. I anticipate I will be still having lots of sex when I am 50+. Hell, 70. At least I better. Just sayin'. I hate the young/old arguments in all their forms. Lets not make it about that.

To the buddy who wants to get it on with his girl- more oral (and make sure you are doing it right. Don't assume. Google is your friend. ), anal (you'd be surprised.. if you haven't tried it, she may be hoping for it.), bondage (probably light, I would assume..but maybe not. You never know. ), ask if she likes it rougher (if so, spanking, hair pulling, biting, pushing, pinning down, etc..), spontaneous/risky places outside. On the balcony. Maybe with the curtains open. In a park. Maybe she needs to be romanced first. (Flowers, chocolate, date..) Maybe there isn't enough foreplay (making out touching, kissing, nipple/breast action, caressing..). Maybe she wants you to take control and really just take her like you just must have her.. like someone else mentioned. Temperature play (ice, hot oils/ breath sensitive lubes/lotions..), feather ticklers. Toys, toys, toys! Incorporate a vibrator. Maybe watch porn together and act out what you saw. Take it out of the bedroom onto the couch/shower/floor. Rent a hotel with a Jacuzzi. I like that one. I do that- more of a reason to go all night. We bloody paid to use that room! And it doesn't matter if you are loud. Lol. Chocolate and whip cream.. ie, eat stuff off each other. Buy a sex positions book or google some and try a new one or 2 each time.

So many more things to so than this.. I could mention rougher or dirtier, but I don't know what you have or haven't done, or what she is even in to. Maybe show her the list and ask what she would like to try?

PS. I love buxom's idea. Only problem is that she might be shy and not put in what she really wants. If you offer a bit of everything and don't seem judgmental about any of it, she may tell you want she wants and then put it in a hat for each night.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I think the 50+ comment was meant to say that she could give a girl's perspective. But of course I'm defending Connubium. Look at her.

 

[aluv]

Listen to analgirl69 she is a Sexgoddess

 

[JasonDaniel]

There are valid positive and negative points in most everyone's opinion, but back to the OP's original point/question: "Why has sex become boring to his girlfriend?" When, for either the man or the woman, sex becomes boring, the problem is not in the bedroom, the problem is in the relationship. When the relationship is good, sex is good. To solve his problem, he should focus on rejuvenating the relationship. When his girlfriend feels loved and cared for in the relationship, everything else will fall in place. When one or both partners let their relationship grow stale, sex always suffers.

Whether a couple prefers kink or vanilla, sex is a way of giving and recieving love, and whether you are male or female, if sexual gratisifcation is the sole purpose of the relationship, you might as well hire a hooker. It would be more cost effective, and when you become bored, it is easier to change partners.

 

[analgirl69]

I think the 50+ comment was meant to say that she could give a girl's perspective. But of course I'm defending Connubium. Look at her.

Lol. I'm just saying I get where he's coming from.

 

[analgirl69]

Listen to analgirl69 she is a Sexgoddess

Thank you. Geez. Make me blush.