Primula Cheese Play

[Dapperguy]

Can anyone help? I have this kind of kink that arose when I watched a mild porn video about a couple who covered their genitalia in Primula cheese spread and they both set about to eat their other’s cheesy genitals. One of the partners chose to spread cheese with pineapple, and the other cheese with chives. I watched the sex play and the mutual massive orgasm They had together. It turned on a kink in me like nothing before.
I speedily sought out the nearest purveyor of the said product. It was our local supermarket. I bought ten tubes of the said product.

I found the courage to bring the topic up with one of my partners who felt disgusted at the notion of being covered in cheese. I tried, at first, reasoning with her, telling her there was no risk to her health or well-being. I had to resort to letting her view the video of the couple with the cheese. She watched it carefully, taking mental notes of their screaming and moaning at the point of their orgasm. After this, she sheepishly agreed.

Initially, all went well: the smearing of the cheese on our bodies was a real turn-on. The licking, sucking and eating the cheese off each other resulted in, well, the best orgasm we have ever experienced: juices flowed like a babbling stream and my semen was delivered with such force it was painful to her throat.

Now, three months later, we do not have sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) as my partner just wants Primula play. I have put on just under two stone in body weight and she has gain an undisclosed amount. To put it as politely as I can, in this very distinguished platform, how can I persuade her, as a man, I need to dip my wick into her, both in front and rear of her). I am sitting here with a nine-inch erection with nowhere to plant it. I am so frustrated. I hump a large bean bag, as a dog does to its bitch. This is a demoralising act, in my world.

I've even thought about going to the supermarket, where she buys Primula, to ask the store staff not to allow her to purchase the said product. Primula play is her kink in the ascendancy, over all the other unspeakable kinks she indulges in, with me and others. But, what would they think? It is so embarrassing. I am at the end of my patience. I wish Primula had never been invented.

What do you most enlightened people think I should do? Please help.

 

[fire_breeze]

Can anyone help? I have this kind of kink that arose when I watched a mild porn video about a couple who covered their genitalia in Primula cheese spread and they both set about to eat their other’s cheesy genitals. One of the partners chose to spread cheese with pineapple, and the other cheese with chives. I watched the sex play and the mutual massive orgasm They had together. It turned on a kink in me like nothing before.
I speedily sought out the nearest purveyor of the said product. It was our local supermarket. I bought ten tubes of the said product.

I found the courage to bring the topic up with one of my partners who felt disgusted at the notion of being covered in cheese. I tried, at first, reasoning with her, telling her there was no risk to her health or well-being. I had to resort to letting her view the video of the couple with the cheese. She watched it carefully, taking mental notes of their screaming and moaning at the point of their orgasm. After this, she sheepishly agreed.

Initially, all went well: the smearing of the cheese on our bodies was a real turn-on. The licking, sucking and eating the cheese off each other resulted in, well, the best orgasm we have ever experienced: juices flowed like a babbling stream and my semen was delivered with such force it was painful to her throat.

Now, three months later, we do not have sexual intercourse (vaginal or anal) as my partner just wants Primula play. I have put on just under two stone in body weight and she has gain an undisclosed amount. To put it as politely as I can, in this very distinguished platform, how can I persuade her, as a man, I need to dip my wick into her, both in front and rear of her). I am sitting here with a nine-inch erection with nowhere to plant it. I am so frustrated. I hump a large bean bag, as a dog does to its bitch. This is a demoralising act, in my world.

I've even thought about going to the supermarket, where she buys Primula, to ask the store staff not to allow her to purchase the said product. Primula play is her kink in the ascendancy, over all the other unspeakable kinks she indulges in, with me and others. But, what would they think? It is so embarrassing. I am at the end of my patience. I wish Primula had never been invented.

What do you most enlightened people think I should do? Please help.

Oy, where to start?

First: porn is not reality, no matter how mild said porn is. What you don't see is the hours of set, make-up, the discussions of when they have their mutual orgasm, and so forth and so forth.

Second: food stuff should not go near the genitalia. Just because it's 'natural'--whatever the fuck it means--does not mean it belongs near genitals. The vagina is warm, dark, and moist--conducive to bacterial growth and yeast infections and all around grossness. In my not so humble opinion: if it isn't a clean finger, vagina, penis, condom, or a clean device specifically made for vaginal insertion, it does not go near the vagina. Not unless bacterial and fungal and yeast growth is the goal, in which case carry on.

Third: you do not need to 'dip your wick' into anything. You want to, and that is something else entirely, but you do not need to. It makes zero difference if you are a man, a woman, or a Vogon-Gorn hybrid: If your partner did not give you a fuck yes, it's a fuck no. If you need to orgasm, masturbate. But do not claim you need to have penetrative sex. You don't.

Fourth: I'm not sure what the weight gain has to do with anything?

Fifth: asking the supermarket clerks not to sell your partner innocuous cheese is a step beyond creepy and into such controlling behaviour that it boggles my mind. Listen to what you have just said: you want to ask the supermarket clerks not to sell her cheese which is her fundamental right as a human to do. What will that do to your relationship when she finds out, and mark my words, she will. Forget what the clerks will think, what will SHE think? How would YOU feel if your partner asked the store not to sell you Skyr yogurt and Crisco because you've been smearing it over yourself as you have a wank? Pretty embarrassing, right?

Sixth: you asked for advice, and here's mine: have a bloody conversation with your partner. Sit down with her, in a non-sexual environment, and have a frank and open conversation why you are not having sex--or the type of sex you would like--and what you both can do to remedy the situation. Listen to why she does not want to have sex with you. Pay attention to what she is saying: it's not about you but about your relationship. If you make it about what you want (yes, want. You do not need sex, as demonstrated above), then it makes very difficult to have a discussion. Listen and engage and talk it through. And if you cannot have the conversation about sex with your partner, then you shouldn't be having sex with your partner.

Good luck

 

[Dapperguy]

Thank you for your sound and sterling observations and the summary of solutions to my dilemma. It is much appreciated. I never thought about Primula cheese being conducive to vaginal infection. I'll inform Fatima about this. I hope she will take on board that her need for Primula may be detrimental to her sexual health and well-being.
I have never meant to be ‘controlling’ as you suggest. I am only concerned for Fatima. I will rescind my thoughts of going to the supermarket. Sex, as you have suggested, should be of a mutual framework of equality and an egalitarian sharing of the division of labour, that such carnal knowledge entails. I am a highly sexed individual who, in general, needs intercourse at least twice a day. Masturbation does not give me the desired relief I need. No, it only makes my yearn to feel the tight squeeze of my penis inside Fatima’s lovely vagina. Does that make sense? Masturbation, to me, is the poor relative of a girly magazine.

Thank you again.

 

[Lady2020]

I'm wondering if the fewer kinks one has, the less one cares about control or cheese.

 

[FataMorgana]

I am wish Primula had never been invented.

Marry me?

 

[PeteyPP]

Be careful what you wish for you just may get it