Self-flagellation - Dominant Pasttime?

[FurryFury]

This came up in another thread and I wanted to do a quickie spinoff thread.

Do you tend to blame yourself for things gone awry, do it for longer periods of time than you probably should, and are you D, s, both, other?


I know I do this. H does it too, so I think it's a cultural guilt thing in part, but I've also heard so many s types saying "he just blames himself and there's nothing I can do to stop it, he's so hard on himself" etc.

My husband and I both do this and we both fall on the s side of things.

 

[ZRT]

I am going to drawn a fine distinction here to explain my thoughts on this.

It may or may not be my fault, but it is always my responsibility.

This is how I see it. As the dominant, I may be able to look at a situation and honestly say that it is not my fault. I do not lay claim to blame for everything. But whether it is my fault or not, it is my responsibility to do whatever it takes to make sure the badness, whatever it is, does not happen. So blame or not, I own the problem, thus I must find the solution.

I'm not sure if this hair's breadth difference is meaningful or healthy, but it is how I operate.

That's leadership 101. The problem may not be your fault, but the solution is your responsibility.

Nothing unhealthy about that, beyond the fact that it tends to cause ulcers and kill you at a younger age.

...okay, maybe that would be considered by some people to be unhealthy.