Secrets to a successful marriage

[Georgia Girl]

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last:
Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have some
good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday's, I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Decatur and mine is in Atlanta.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. so I suggested the kitchen.

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker Then she said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!". So I bought her an electric chair.

Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt
her.

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"....
I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created
man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither
God nor man has rested.

Why do men die before their wives? 'Cause they want to'.

 

[Starblayde]

Wise words from a wiseguy

classic Dean Martin quotes...

"Marriages are made in heaven. But, again, so are lightning, thunder, tornadoes and hail."

"My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things... Women and fractions."

 

[NoRegrets]

If a man says something in the forest and there is no woman to hear him,

Is he still wrong?

 

[TigerClaw]

I came to investigate because of the similarities....

between our posts. Once I came in I realized it was not really what I expected. Hmmmm, I hope this is not a prophecy. Oh, well.