Secretary of War Pete Kegsbreath Orders Unprecedented "Conclave of Generals"

[RobDownSouth]

Pickled Pete says that fat National Guard troops give him erectile dysfunction! So Texas quickly replaced the fatties with less-fat folks.

Crisis averted. Pickled Pete can jerk off over photos of the troops again.

Texas National Guard deploys "heavy infantry" to Illinois.

https://imgur.com/HD1Q0rL

...literally.