Secret Manly Rituals

[3113]

Argh, I can't resist. I gotta break it down.

Okay, so Amicus walks into a bathroom with 5 urinals on one wall. Someone is using Urinal # 1.

If he picks Urinal #5, he's saying, "I'm afraid of your penis!"

If he picks Urinal #4, he's being an asshole by forcing the issue of the presence of his penis on the next guy who shows up to pee.

If he picks Urinal #3, he's saying, "My penis is okay, your penis is okay."

If he picks Urinal #2, the Tiger jumps out of toilet stall #2 and eats him, much to the surprise of the Lady sitting hopefully by the glory hole in toilet stall #1.

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/10.gif

I, myself, would have said Urinal #5, but now, now I begin to see glimpses into the awe and majesty of the male mind. This is very deep and complex. Well worth a dissertation. One question...does going to #5 and saying, "I'm afraid of your penis" make the man at #1 an alpha male for having a fearsome penis, or does it make #5 homophobic? And if homophobic, why is that a weaker position to be in than the "no-harm, no foul" #3 position? Does it imply that #1 must be a homosexual?



I'm so glad I started this thread. That was brilliant, Oblimo. You win my hero of the month award for that.

 

[Guest]

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/10.gif

I, myself, would have said Urinal #5, but now, now I begin to see glimpses into the awe and majesty of the male mind. This is very deep and complex. Well worth a dissertation. One question...does going to #5 and saying, "I'm afraid of your penis" make the man at #1 an alpha male for having a fearsome penis, or does it make #5 homophobic? And if homophobic, why is that a weaker position to be in than the "no-harm, no foul" #3 position? Does it imply that #1 must be a homosexual?



I'm so glad I started this thread. That was brilliant, Oblimo. You win my hero of the month award for that.

I must say that I, too, have learned from this.

I read the post aloud to my husband, he nodded.

No wonder men don't go to the bathroom in pairs.

 

[snap1415]

Oh hell, it's all too complicated. I'm gonna stick to peeing on trees & avoid the whole urinal roulette business.

 

[Guest]

Oh hell, it's all too complicated. I'm gonna stick to peeing on trees & avoid the whole urinal roulette business.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Yes, but the optimal choice is 3, because taking the last stall when only the first is occupied says, "I'm scared of your penis!"

No, I'm not homophobic. I'm paranoid and like being in the corner...

 

[oggbashan]

No, I'm not homophobic. I'm paranoid and like being in the corner...

I sometimes walk with a cane. I prefer being in a corner so I can lean my cane and my shoulder against a wall.

I'm also wide. If I occupy a central urinal I tend to make the two on either side unusable...

Og

 

[jomar]

This ritual is alive and well and not gender specific in the Aussie bush. It is not necessary to actually know the driver of the oncoming vehicle.

Here's a manly ritual that may be fading out.
When driving out in the country, if you recognize that an on-coming car is being driven by a friend of the male persuasion, you wave by lifting only the index finger of whichever hand is atop the steering wheel. Almost imperceptible head-nods are performed at the same time.

But it's a chin up nod for someone you know and a chin down nod for a stranger.

 

[NoJo]

I sometimes walk with a cane. I prefer being in a corner so I can lean my cane and my shoulder against a wall.

I'm also wide. If I occupy a central urinal I tend to make the two on either side unusable...

Og

Awww. I'd probably use the one next to you

 

[snap1415]

Not sure if this is manly or compulsive, but when I have a chocolate Easter Bunny to deal with, I always make the first bite on its ass.

 

[SeaCat]

Here's a manly ritual that may be fading out.
When driving out in the country, if you recognize that an on-coming car is being driven by a friend of the male persuasion, you wave by lifting only the index finger of whichever hand is atop the steering wheel. Almost imperceptible head-nods are performed at the same time.

When riding a bike and being approached by another bike it is common to drop the left hand and point at the road. (The Biker Wave) Lifting the hand is frowned upon. Waving or using the right hand is not wise and connotates a newbie.

Cat

 

[starrkers]

But it's a chin up nod for someone you know and a chin down nod for a stranger.

He's right, y'now.

 

[cloudy]

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/10.gif

I, myself, would have said Urinal #5, but now, now I begin to see glimpses into the awe and majesty of the male mind. This is very deep and complex. Well worth a dissertation. One question...does going to #5 and saying, "I'm afraid of your penis" make the man at #1 an alpha male for having a fearsome penis, or does it make #5 homophobic? And if homophobic, why is that a weaker position to be in than the "no-harm, no foul" #3 position? Does it imply that #1 must be a homosexual?



I'm so glad I started this thread. That was brilliant, Oblimo. You win my hero of the month award for that.

okay, this damn near made me snort tea through my nose.

 

[snap1415]

When riding a bike and being approached by another bike it is common to drop the left hand and point at the road. (The Biker Wave) Lifting the hand is frowned upon. Waving or using the right hand is not wise and connotates a newbie.

Cat

Cat, does that hold for both motorcycle and bicycle riders?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Cat, does that hold for both motorcycle and bicycle riders?

Dunno, but back in the day when tankers met, the greeting was the raised "power" fist. After all, what better ride can you get than over a 105 mm gun?

 

[SeaCat]

Cat, does that hold for both motorcycle and bicycle riders?

Damned if I know. Never received a wave from a guy on a bicycle. I have however received them from guys and gals on Cruisers, Tourers, Sportbikes and Skooters.

Cat

 

[HawtDeepr46]

restroom

How come men never go to the restroom in pairs?

never...

heres another for ya , restroom ettiquette.. while at the urinal one must never i repeat never look left or right always gaze intently forward observing what we call the pee spot .. directly in front of your face eyes boring a hole in the wall....

 

[voluptuary_manque]

heres another for ya , restroom ettiquette.. while at the urinal one must never i repeat never look left or right always gaze intently forward observing what we call the pee spot .. directly in front of your face eyes boring a hole in the wall....

This is true.

 

[3113]

heres another for ya , restroom ettiquette.. while at the urinal one must never i repeat never look left or right always gaze intently forward observing what we call the pee spot .. directly in front of your face eyes boring a hole in the wall....

So. If someone put a screen there, and flashed hypnotic suggestions, the whole mankind would soon be in their power?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

So. If someone put a screen there, and flashed hypnotic suggestions, the whole mankind would soon be in their power?

At least the portion that is susceptible to hypnosis, perhaps.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Not me. I am constantly looking around, eying up the situation to see if danger is lurking behind me.

Yes, I break etiquette by doing so. My personal safety is more precious to me than etiquette.

 

[DesertPirate]

Not me. I am constantly looking around, eying up the situation to see if danger is lurking behind me.

Yes, I break etiquette by doing so. My personal safety is more precious to me than etiquette.

Is that like never sitting with your back to the door?

Lesson I learned from Doc Holliday


*no I aint that old, just read my history *

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Is that like never sitting with your back to the door?

Lesson I learned from Doc Holliday


*no I aint that old, just read my history *

Yes. That is exactly the way I choose my seating. Although I heard it from my father before I did doc. But I suppose that is where my father heard it from

 

[only_more_so]

Is that like never sitting with your back to the door?

Lesson I learned from Doc Holliday


*no I aint that old, just read my history *

I actually first read that in a fantasy novel "The Seventh Sword". Although I always did it instinctively. Actually, I've noticed that a lot of people do that.

 

[kimbalee]

Is that like never sitting with your back to the door?

Lesson I learned from Doc Holliday


*no I aint that old, just read my history *

I realized hubby was doing that a couple of years ago... when we go to dinner he often asks for a different table because of this. I automatically know which seat is mine when I get to the table first. We were watching one of the the "Borne Identity/Supremecy" can't remember which one... and I saw that he was trained to do that and hubby's habit clicked for me. lol He said it was something his dad always did too.

Now another habit... if he could be just a little bit more discrete about checking out other women when I am around, that would be great.

 

[DesertPirate]

I realized hubby was doing that a couple of years ago... when we go to dinner he often asks for a different table because of this. I automatically know which seat is mine when I get to the table first. We were watching one of the the "Borne Identity/Supremecy" can't remember which one... and I saw that he was trained to do that and hubby's habit clicked for me. lol He said it was something his dad always did too.

Now another habit... if he could be just a little bit more discrete about checking out other women when I am around, that would be great.

The one time Doc Holliday didn't sit facing the door, a guy came in and shot him in the back of the head. He was holding a full house, aces and 8's thereafter known as the deadmans hand. This happened in Deadwood SD in the late 1800's.

My wife has the same complaint. I have told her I'm married, not dead, and allowed to window shop as long as I don't buy anything.