S/m, tattoos and scarring

[session9]

Hi All

So glad to have found this discussion board (and web site). This is my first post here, so please bear with any fauxpas I may make.

My sub and I have been together for a couple of years now. She's my second sub and I am her first Dom. I've reached the point where I'm keen (and my sub has agreed) to take the s/m side of our relationship up to another level.

I just have one dilemma that, perhaps, someone out there can help me with. My sub has the kind of skin that scars really easily and she has about $3000 worth of stunning tattoo artwork on her back, which I love and basically don't want to mess up.

My chosen instruments are the good ol' whip and the cato9, which both break the skin. Is/are there any other toys out there which can deliver the sting without breaking the skin?

The only other thing I have is the paddle, which I don't really want to use on her back.

Looking forward to hearing your suggestions... Thanks

 

[nctoddmc]

Have you thought of using a wide leather belt? It stings and raises welts, but doesn't break the skin or scar.

 

[session9]

belt..mmm

Have you thought of using a wide leather belt? It stings and raises welts, but doesn't break the skin or scar.

Thanks nctoddmc. Yes I did consider that - I am just a bit worried about causing any 'deep' tissue damage by using wider & blunt objects. Surface cuts and scrapes are one thing, but I try to avoid any deep tissue damage. Do you think a belt would be safe?

PS: My sub is of really diminutive size. At 4'8" and about 90lbs, I need to be careful of injuring her.

 

[Kierae]

Personally I would avoid her back and aim for her ass and thighs which then you don't have to worry about bruising/tissue damage, breaking skin, etc.

~kierae

 

[Puman]

Interesting point

Hi session.
You raise and interesting point here... well for me anyway. My other half and I have not reached this point in our relationship yet (we're still new at this actually). I have quite a bit of tattoo work on my back as well, which I intend to grow and I hadn't even thought about scars messing all that work up.... mmm.... some food for thought. Has anyone here experienced any similar concerns?

By the sounds of things your sub is really tiny, whch probably means that there's not much flesh on her back.. have you thought about just sticking to her ass and upper thighs?

 

[nctoddmc]

Thanks nctoddmc. Yes I did consider that - I am just a bit worried about causing any 'deep' tissue damage by using wider & blunt objects. Surface cuts and scrapes are one thing, but I try to avoid any deep tissue damage. Do you think a belt would be safe?

PS: My sub is of really diminutive size. At 4'8" and about 90lbs, I need to be careful of injuring her.

Well, hell, you don't have to beat her hard on her back, save that for her ass and thighs, like your other advisors have suggested.

I think a belt would be safe, if you keep control, limit the force of your strokes, and spread out the strikes across her skin. However, if you, or, more importantly, she, are not comfortable with the idea, keep that treatment for fleshier parts of her body.

 

[SweetErika]

My husband has psoriasis, which often appears where the skin is broken, so we avoid everything that break the skin as well. Stingy floggers have worked well for us (vinyl is especially stingy) and are generally safe on the back when used with care. We've also used a braid of suede lacing and household items like fly swatters and paint stirrers (wrapped in several coats of electrical tape).

Generally, though, I take Kierae's advice of focusing on the ass and thighs. There are just too many things in the back that could be damaged by heavier impact for my taste.

 

[session9]

...Stingy floggers have worked well for us (vinyl is especially stingy) and are generally safe on the back when used with care. We've also used a braid of suede lacing and household items like fly swatters and paint stirrers (wrapped in several coats of electrical tape).

Generally, though, I take Kierae's advice of focusing on the ass and thighs. There are just too many things in the back that could be damaged by heavier impact for my taste.

Thanks SweetErika... I will check our household supplies and go hunting for the items you suggest... I am starting to lean more towards sticking to her butt and thighs though (the 'back-without-blood' suggestion was hers). She's just so damned small that I'm worried about "missing the target" if play gets heavy & you're right, there are too many areas on her little back that can get hurt.

 

[ElusiveDream07]

Session,

I would agree with SweetErika, if you are using back it is fine to do so but with care. Ass and thighs are better for heavier impact play. Floggers are also a good idea....There are many items that have desired sound and effect without deep impact and potiential harm.

just my 2 cents....good luck
smiles

My husband has psoriasis, which often appears where the skin is broken, so we avoid everything that break the skin as well. Stingy floggers have worked well for us (vinyl is especially stingy) and are generally safe on the back when used with care. We've also used a braid of suede lacing and household items like fly swatters and paint stirrers (wrapped in several coats of electrical tape).

Generally, though, I take Kierae's advice of focusing on the ass and thighs. There are just too many things in the back that could be damaged by heavier impact for my taste.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

One word:

Canes

Learn to use them with a bit of finesse and you can stripe her nicely with lots of sting and no skin breakage.

 

[satindesire]

Well, hell, you don't have to beat her hard on her back, save that for her ass and thighs, like your other advisors have suggested.

Yeah, you don't have to swing like you're on a softball field to get the same results, yannow.

 

[SweetErika]

Thanks SweetErika... I will check our household supplies and go hunting for the items you suggest... I am starting to lean more towards sticking to her butt and thighs though (the 'back-without-blood' suggestion was hers). She's just so damned small that I'm worried about "missing the target" if play gets heavy & you're right, there are too many areas on her little back that can get hurt.

You're welcome.

If you use your imagination, the possibilities for household items are endless, really. There are several threads around here on household and homemade toys (there's probably even one in the BDSM Library sticky) to help get you started, too.

I'm still a very nervous beginner in the grand scheme of things. With anything new, I practice on myself and pillows or other objects roughly the size of the target area(s) first. Then I move to fairly conservative play on my guy that includes lots of checking in and feedback from him. At the very beginning, I put a folded towel over adjacent "danger zones" to allay my fears of missing somewhat, and I'd still do so with a riskier tool or technique in the future. The bottom line, though, is that I always work my way up and within my comfort zone, so the likelihood of missing or doing damage is minimal.

It may not be the sexiest way to go, but it's what I need to be confident right now at least, and it works for us as a couple.