Romance vs Passion

[dr_mabeuse]

I’ve been reading a lot of the Valentine’s Day stories, and have been thinking about the difference between romance and passion. A lot of the stories are very romantic, and therefore lacking in passion, and it almost seems to me like the two qualities are opposite expressions of the same underlying emotion. I won’t even try to define the two except to say that, in my mind at least, romance is to passion as love is to lust or as tenderness is to roughness, sweetness to savagery.

Does anyone else make a distinction? Do you have a preference? Which do your stories deal with?

---dr.M.

 

[Boxlicker101]

I’ve been reading a lot of the Valentine’s Day stories, and have been thinking about the difference between romance and passion. A lot of the stories are very romantic, and therefore lacking in passion, and it almost seems to me like the two qualities are opposite expressions of the same underlying emotion. I won’t even try to define the two except to say that, in my mind at least, romance is to passion as love is to lust or as tenderness is to roughness, sweetness to savagery.

Does anyone else make a distinction? Do you have a preference? Which do your stories deal with?

---dr.M.

Hi, Doc.
I would have to partly disagree with you. I agree that romance is to passion as love is to lust. Passion can be a part of romance and lust can be a part of love. Tenderness is nothing like roughness though, and sweetness is nothing like savagery. The last two are actually antonyms.

 

[Guest]

I love romance, but I can't seem to write about it for the life of me. I think romance and passion should go hand in hand. Lovers should be able to be romantic and passionate at the same time. I also think that you should not only be in love with your SO, but in lust with them as well, so I agree with what BL said.

CM

 

[*Catbabe*]

I would agree that romance and passion have very little to do with each other.

We hear all the time, "DO something romantic to rekindle the passion or spark in your relationship," but in my opinion, that type of thing doesn't really spark passion. It reminds the person on the receiving end of your feelings of love for them, which is a great thing but not overly hot, in terms of erotica or real life for that matter.

Maybe I am a jaded, but I have never suddenly felt strong feelings of passion just because someone has done something romantic for me. Maybe that is because romance seems to come from the outside but passion comes from within.

Passion is either there or it isn't. While I believe it can fade, I think true passion for a person or anything else, for that matter, will always be there to some extent. It is a part of who we are.


I think where people fall on this topic might be related to whether they believe sex is an expression of love or....well, just sex. Not that there is anything just about sex.

 

[CharleyH]

I’ve been reading a lot of the Valentine’s Day stories, and have been thinking about the difference between romance and passion. A lot of the stories are very romantic, and therefore lacking in passion, and it almost seems to me like the two qualities are opposite expressions of the same underlying emotion. I won’t even try to define the two except to say that, in my mind at least, romance is to passion as love is to lust or as tenderness is to roughness, sweetness to savagery.

Does anyone else make a distinction? Do you have a preference? Which do your stories deal with?

---dr.M.

Hm. Intriguing.

Can romance and passion exist in the same space? Romance leads to passion in my op.

Do they co-exist at the same point in time? Are they so opposite that they can't?

Well, in theory and by principle, S can't coesist with M - yet they do. All opposites meet somewhere.

Maybe its just each of our individual interpretations that make the distinction? Just as S&M exist together in practice, Passion and romance exist under the underlying principle of the practice of love.

Just a theory.

 

[pop_54]

Ha

Romance can lead to passion I suppose, just as love can lead to lust, but they are different when taken individually.

Also the other way round of course, one could engage in an act of passion with a person, which could lead to a romantic episode.

One could take part in an act of lust with a person, which could lead to love eventually. This I know to be true, I've been married 26 yrs as a result of an act of pure lust with a drunken girl at a party, and no she wasn't preggers, we fell in love.

I took her with passion, and we eventually wound up romantically involved.

It can and does happen, but care is needed writing it into fiction.

I rarely write romance or love into mine, it's all filth and lust.

 

[OldnotDead]

Hey, Doc,

I think BL got it just about perfect. Passion and romance are not automatically linked and, for some, that occasionally causes problems. When Catbabe questions how 'romance' can put the 'passion' back in a relationship, she reinforces the problem of the juxtaposition.

In general I think of Romance as the 'wooing' part of relationship. It's the doing for another that makes them understand you not only want them, but that you are willing to do just a bit more because of their importance in your life. Romance is directly tied most often to love and may be motivated by lust.

Passion, to me, is more involved in the degree or depth to which expressions of emotion are revealed about something. The 'thing' you bring up in this case is love and/or sex, but it does not always have to be so. We can be passionate about jobs, politics, religion, family, and so forth. It is difficult to make anything close to a long list about which we can be romantic.

Unfortunately I have read very little of the Valentine's Day story contest submissions, but I am sad to hear that you find them lacking in one or the other. In my mind, the most fun of all is when a lot of Romance leads to a lot of Passionate Sex.

Of course, things like barfing kids, bad weather, and a variety of real world happenstances have a way of encroaching and taking the moment away. But every now and then, we do get them all off to bed, lock the door, share some bubbly in a candelit room . . .

Hey, I'm outa here - I got better things for a Friday night <G>

 

[Guest]

Interesting topic I must say.

How about chemistry that brings two people together in the first place?

You can be attracted to someone from pure animal instincts, so this would be lust?

But lust and physical attraction can turn into love, when you find that this person fulfills you in more ways than just the physical.

Passion can exist in either form, romantic (love) or physical (lust).
The only difference being how long they may last.

Jmt

 

[Guest]

From a man's perspective romance might be considered the "Hunt"

Passion may be considered, "To the victor go the spoils"

But all of this can change in an instant.

Men seem to be visualy driven, and women "Thank God" see deeper into the person they are involved with.

Questions, Questions I'm rambling sorry.

Jmt

 

[CharleyH]

Interesting topic I must say.

How about chemistry that brings two people together in the first place?

You can be attracted to someone from pure animal instincts, so this would be lust?

But lust and physical attraction can turn into love, when you find that this person fulfills you in more ways than just the physical.

Passion can exist in either form, romantic (love) or physical (lust).
The only difference being how long they may last.

Jmt

Lust leads to romance which leads back to lust, which becomes romance of lust, leading into lust for romance . . . the very nature of the circularity says I can go on forever . . . so then . . . . forever.

 

[Icingsugar]

It all depends on your definition of passion. Passion to me goes way beyond what can happen between two people, a king size bed and a huge tray of mayonaise. You can experience passion and being passionate in so many other situations than the purely sexual.

As i see it, romance is one kind of passion. Sexual attraction is another one. I have others, things that I throw myself into head over heels not really thinking about thre consequences.

All my passions are closely linked. Listening to the right music can make me downright horny, sitting down by the sea makes me feel romantic. And so on.

/Ice

 

[shereads]

It you hold hands in public, you have romance.

If holding hands makes you feel a compelling need to hold other parts, you have passionate romance. The best thing on earth.

 

[pop_54]

Wow

It you hold hands in public, you have romance.

If holding hands makes you feel a compelling need to hold other parts, you have passionate romance. The best thing on earth.

Not in the street surely

 

[shereads]

Re: Wow

Not in the street surely

Not every compulsion has to be fed, pop. Not immediately anyway.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Wow

Not every compulsion has to be fed, pop. Not immediately anyway.

Nope, you just have to wait until you get in the car!

CM

 

[shereads]

Exactly. The car, or a dark corner.

 

[Guest]

or an alley...

 

[shereads]

or an alley...

Now that's romantic.

 

[Green_Gem]

Romance versus Passion

I don't think romance and passion are the same thing at all or are interlinked.

Romance is a gentle, caring, affectionate, considerate, loving display of actions and emotions that leave you feeling all mushy and warm and tender.

Passion is all about heat. It's a burning, intense and driving emotion that demands to be fulfilled and it's strongly physiological as well. It makes the blood pump harder, the adrenaline course through your veins, the air whistle from your lungs. It makes you feel vibrantly alive and excited or even enraged. It's all consuming and it can make you do reckless and crazy things. Murder has been committed in the heat of passion. It's that powerful.

On a purely sexual level, I always associate passion with chemistry. That indefinable thing that makes the sparks fly and brings out the animal in you. Hey, for my part, I'd take passion over romance any day.

Green_Gem

My tales of Passion:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=183586

 

[A7inchPhildo]

I do not think your question can be answered. Passion and Romance are the unique development in the mind of each individual.
Perception is reality, what I percieve to be Romantic my partner could be lost in passion.


Ro`mance´
Noun 1. romance - a relationship between two lovers
love affair
relationship - a state of connectedness between people (especially an emotional connection); "he didn't want his wife to know of the relationship"
intrigue - a clandestine love affair
2. romance - an exciting and mysterious quality (as of a heroic time or adventure)
romanticism
quality - an essential and distinguishing attribute of something or someone; "the quality of mercy is not strained"--Shakespeare
stardust - a dreamy romantic or sentimental quality
3. Romance - the group of languages derived from Latin
Latinian language, Romance language
Haitian Creole - a creole language spoken by most Haitians; based on French and various African languages
Latin - any dialect of the language of ancient Rome
Italian - the Romance language spoken in Italy
French - the Romance language spoken in France and in countries colonized by France
Portuguese - the Romance language spoken in Portugal and Brazil
Spanish - the Romance language spoken in most of Spain and the countries colonized by Spain
Catalan - the Romance language spoken in Catalonia in eastern Spain (related to Spanish and Occitan)
Rhaeto-Romance, Rhaeto-Romanic - Romance dialects spoken in parts of southeastern Switzerland and northern Italy and the Tyrol
Rumanian, Romanian - an eastern Romance language spoken in Romania
4. romance - a story dealing with love
love story
story - a piece of fiction that narrates a chain of related events; "he writes stories for the magazines"
5. romance - a novel dealing with idealized events remote from everyday life
novel - a extended fictional work in prose; usually in the form of a story
Gothic romance - a romance that deals with desolate and mysterious and grotesque events
bodice ripper - a romantic novel containing scenes in which the heroine is sexually violated
Verb 1. romance - make amorous advances towards; "John is courting Mary"
court, solicit, woo
act, move - perform an action, or work out or perform (an action); "think before you act"; "We must move quickly"; "The governor should act on the new energy bill"; "The nanny acted quickly by grabbing the toddler and covering him with a wet towel"
chase after, chase - pursue someone sexually or romantically
display - attract attention by displaying some body part or posing; of animals
2. romance - have a love affair with
love - be enamored or in love with; "She loves her husband deeply"
3. romance - talk or behave amorously, without serious intentions; "The guys always try to chat up the new secretaries"; "My husband never flirts with other women"
chat up, coquet, coquette, flirt, mash, philander, butterfly, dally
talk, speak - exchange thoughts; talk with; "We often talk business"; "Actions talk louder than words"
wanton - engage in amorous play
vamp - act seductively with (someone)
4. romance - tell romantic or exaggerated lies; "This author romanced his trip to an exotic country"
lie - tell an untruth; pretend with intent to deceive; "Don't lie to your parents"; "She lied when she told me she was only 29"
Adj. 1. Romance - relating to languages derived from Latin; "Romance languages"
Latin



Pas´sion
Noun 1. passion - strong feeling or emotion
passionateness
feeling - the experiencing of affective and emotional states; "she had a feeling of euphoria"; "he had terrible feelings of guilt"; "I disliked him and the feeling was mutual"
infatuation - foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration
wildness, abandon - a feeling of extreme emotional intensity; "the wildness of his anger"
fervency, fervidness, fervor, fervour, ardor, ardour, fire - feelings of great warmth and intensity; "he spoke with great ardor"
2. passion - intense passion or emotion
heat, warmth
emotionalism, emotionality - emotional nature or quality
3. passion - something that is desired intensely; "his rage for fame destroyed him"
rage
desire - something that is desired
4. passion - an irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action
cacoethes, mania
irrational motive - a motivation that is inconsistent with reason or logic
agromania - an intense desire to be alone or out in the open
dipsomania, potomania, alcoholism - an intense persistent desire to drink alcoholic beverages to excess
egomania - an intense and irresistible love for yourself and concern for your own needs
kleptomania - an irresistible impulse to steal in the absence of any economic motive
logomania, logorrhea - pathologically excessive (and often incoherent) talking
monomania, possession - a mania restricted to one thing or idea
necromania, necrophilia, necrophilism - an irresistible sexual attraction to dead bodies
phaneromania - an irresistible desire to pick a superficial body parts (as in obsessive nail-biting)
pyromania - an uncontrollable desire to set fire to things
trichotillomania - an irresistible urge to pull out your own hair
5. passion - a feeling of strong sexual desire
concupiscence, physical attraction, sexual desire - a desire for sexual intimacy
6. passion - any object of warm affection or devotion; "the theater was her first love" or "he has a passion for cock fighting";
love
object - the focus of cognitions or feelings; "objects of thought"; "the object of my affection"
7. Passion - the suffering of Jesus at the crucifixion
Passion of Christ
excruciation, suffering, agony - a state of acute pain

 

[English Lady]

Sorry Dr M I have to disagree,well from a personal point of view anyway. Romance is all about passion! If you're wooing someone....why are you doing that? Because you've got all this pent up passion that you need to realease and until you win over your sweetheart romace is the way that passion is Unleashed.


I guess it depends on your definition of romance. For me romance is anything where one person shows another how very much they love them and obviously passion figures in that.


contrived romance isn't passionate. Bringing gifts because you have to or you've read its a good way to get a into a girls knickers is not at all passionate because it isn't personal.

Romance and passion need to be very personal,misdirected passion is as much of a turn off as misjudged romance. Romance and passion are both about connections,intimate connections.


So romance and passion are very much inseperable in my life and i'd have it no other way.

 

[wishfulthinking]

Which do your stories deal with?

---dr.M.

My stories have nothing to do with romance. I generally don't find romance stories erotic, so I don't write erotic romance stories. Also, I find romance stories are measured [at least in my mind] against very high standards, so even if I tried, I'd bin it for being corny.

 

[wishfulthinking]

Double post. RIP.

 

[raphy]

I'm with Iceman on this one.. Romance is a part of passion..

 

[steve w]

My ten cents' worth would be this -

Romance is about doing things, saying things, thinking things and believing things, simply because the other person is who they are. It's therefore inextricably linked to the qualities you perceive in the other person, and is your way of expressing your appreciation of them. So it follows that you can be romantic towards people you don't necessarily have passion for. Really good friends, for example, might be the recipients of my romantic side without me wishing to bed them - doing things for them, thinking of them, believing in them, is a token of my appreciation, and not an automatic prelude to lust.

Passion, on the other hand, is totally different, and I agree with GG on this. Passion is a drive. Like hunger, thirst, or the survival instinct. It is more primieval, and is based around the desire to do something, or have something done to you. While I agree that with men it is more likely to be visually-based, I don't think that when all's said and done there is that much of a gender difference. Passion is an urgent desire to fill a need or a want NOW, IMMEDIATELY, and often regardless of the consequences. Just because we're allegedly civilised and rational human beings, doesn't quell this - so I conclude that it's a "base instinct" in the true sense of that description.

Personally, I prefer to write about passion, because I sense that's a stronger thing to pick up from reading than romance. But that would just make me a vote slut, wouldn't it? And that can't be right.....