Romance vs Passion

[Guest]

I'm really not being glib here. Romance is a construct, an invention; we learn it (see many of the above descriptions and definitions). Passion is innate, it cannot be contrived or created. It takes time and experience to learn that though w/re. to relationships; it can't be taught.

Perdita

 

[wishfulthinking]

I'm really not being glib here. Romance is a construct, an invention; we learn it (see many of the above descriptions and definitions). Passion is innate, it cannot be contrived or created. It takes time and experience to learn that though w/re. to relationships; it can't be taught.

Perdita

Have to agree totally.

I don't find receiving a dozen roses on Valentine's day romantic, because it is expected of a male to give a female red roses. Commercialism and all that crap. I find it incredibly romantic if a person gives me a single orchid or lily, simply because they took the time to find what I like. Although, you can never go wrong with chocolate!

 

[Boxlicker101]

Have to agree totally.

I don't find receiving a dozen roses on Valentine's day romantic, because it is expected of a male to give a female red roses. Commercialism and all that crap. I find it incredibly romantic if a person gives me a single orchid or lily, simply because they took the time to find what I like. Although, you can never go wrong with chocolate!

Why is it that men are expected to give flowers and/or chocolates and/or jewelry to women on Valentine's Day and anniversaries etc., but not also the other way around. It would seem to me that fair is fair. Mind you, I am just asking that questioin academically, I have no intention of breaking or otherwise flouting the custom.

 

[English Lady]

I often buy my hubby chocclates for valentines/birthday/christmas because i know he'll love them


Still with the romance and passion interlinked side myself


(oh and i'm away till next friday..don't miss me too much and please read my valentines entry...ta!)

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Why is it that men are expected to give flowers and/or chocolates and/or jewelry to women on Valentine's Day and anniversaries etc., but not also the other way around. It would seem to me that fair is fair. Mind you, I am just asking that questioin academically, I have no intention of breaking or otherwise flouting the custom.

This surprises me...most of the women I know do really special things for their lovers. Maybe not jewelry, but some of the gifts have been sports tickets, fishing tackle, engraved pens, etc... Things specifically geared toward their tastes and styles.

I think a few too many prima-donnas have made a big stink about gifts and gestures, blowing the whole idea out of proportion. I can't tell you how many women I have heard say things like, "Well if it (engagement ring) isn't of a certain cut, carat or clarity, I'm saying NO!" This is ridiculous and in my experience, not what most women subscribe to.

I might be going out on a limb here, but I'd say the emphasis on the man's responsibility to come through on Valentine's Day is that so many men fail to do it the other 364 days a year. No need to get boxers in a bunch but this would be my guess. Just a difference in the way men/women perceive things.

I have always done something sweet and giving for the old man on v-day but am reigning myself in this year...am way over quota for sweetness so far and his ass is in the red, if you will. So we shall see what happens, and Box, if you'd like me to contact your wife and inform her of your need to be gifted on V-day, I'd be happy to

-E

 

[wishfulthinking]

No need to get boxers in a bunch

LOL!

I in no way meant to imply that I would not be doing something creative for the SO, just that thought and creativity rather than spending huge amounts of dollars is worth so much more to me.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

LOL!

I in no way meant to imply that I would not be doing something creative for the SO, just that thought and creativity rather than spending huge amounts of dollars is worth so much more to me.

I wholeheatedly agree...and last I checked, sweet nothings & nudity were still free.
-E

 

[shereads]

Why is it that men are expected to give flowers and/or chocolates and/or jewelry to women on Valentine's Day and anniversaries etc., but not also the other way around. It would seem to me that fair is fair. Mind you, I am just asking that questioin academically, I have no intention of breaking or otherwise flouting the custom.

Hint: give her a kitchen appliance, or a new vacuum cleaner with a HEPA filter. It's what she really wants, and it's practical. Better yet, don't give her anything, and tell her it's a matter of principle. She'll respect you for it.

 

[oggbashan]

Hint: give her a kitchen appliance, or a new vacuum cleaner with a HEPA filter. It's what she really wants, and it's practical. Better yet, don't give her anything, and tell her it's a matter of principle. She'll respect you for it.

Just before she kicks you in the balls.

The gift doesn't matter. The thought that goes into its selection does. Valentine's Day is not about over-priced flowers. A Valentine's meal in an overcrowded restaurant can be a disaster. A pair of tickets to take her to a show she wants to see but you'll have to endure - that's lurve.

Og

 

[Honey123]

We're talking about romance and passion here, right - not love?

 

[Boxlicker101]

Hint: give her a kitchen appliance, or a new vacuum cleaner with a HEPA filter. It's what she really wants, and it's practical. Better yet, don't give her anything, and tell her it's a matter of principle. She'll respect you for it.

I usually give my wife a new toothbrush. I figure it is practical, and better for her than candy and cheaper than flowers or jewelry.

 

[Honey123]

I usually give my wife a new toothbrush. I figure it is practical, and better for her than candy and cheaper than flowers or jewelry.

Now that sir, is true love!!

 

[shereads]

Just before she kicks you in the balls.

That would be rash. He would have to have given her be a used kitchen appliance.

The gift doesn't matter. The thought that goes into its selection does.

Here is an inside secret about women, since men pretend to find us inexplicable. (I think men are being deliberately dense when they claim they don't understand us; it's like claiming you can't understand the language when someone asks for directions and you're in too big a hurry.)

The answer to the question, "What do women want," as I see it in everyone from little girls flirting with boys to my own 74-year-old mother, is this:

We want to be treated, at least on special occasions, the way you treated us when you first realized you wanted us.

A man trying to win a woman with whom he has some chemistry instinctively knows what women want. We want to feel worth pursuing.

If you give her nothing else for Valentine's Day except a day and evening of being courted as if she's brand new, you will be a hero.

If you give her a lovely gift but don't flirt with her, don't laugh at her jokes, don't look at her as if you can't wait to get her alone, she'll thank you for the gift - but you will not have rekindled the romance.

(You can throw in some flowers or a box of candy if you like, just so she won't be stuck for an answer when her friends ask what you gave her. Women always ask.)

 

[minsue]

VERY VERY VERY WELL SAID!

 

[shereads]

VERY VERY VERY WELL SAID!

Thank you, Mindy. Gentlemen, you may leave small cash donations to my foundation in the cup on the bar.

 

[Guest]

VERY VERY VERY WELL SAID!

What they said, buggerlugs.

Perdita

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Yes that was very well said she.

The problem is generally exactly what you said. Many men do not care about the financial part of it but they are so unwilling to give of themselves. Not to be a smart ass but that goes both ways in many relationships.

As much as I despised my X I was always willing to make sure she had something to say she got to her friends. Even after we were long apart I still felt a need to make sure she did not feel left out on mother's day and stuff. No matter who it is that is the kind of hurt no one should be embarassed about. Like you say you know the other girls are going to ask it is a given.

 

[Boxlicker101]

On another thread, I said something about men being more practical and logical and women being more emotional and this proves it. This is part of why men find women inexplicable.

It seems unnecessary to court my wife since we are already married. She knows love her because I tell her. Just a couple of months ago, she asked me if I loved her and I told her I did. To me, it seems logical to give her a new toothbrush on Valentine's Day and another on our anniversary. They two dates are about six months apart so she has a new toothbrush twice a year, which is about right. I have done this ever since we were married and she has never complained. I don't know if she tells her friends about the toothbrushes or not.

I buy appliances on her birthday and on Christmas. Usually they are used and I buy them at the Salvation Army. I figure that is true love.

 

[Guest]

... Just a couple of months ago, she asked me if I loved her and I told her I did.

Box, you are too much.

Happy teeth,

Perdita

 

[minsue]

Yes that was very well said she.

The problem is generally exactly what you said. Many men do not care about the financial part of it but they are so unwilling to give of themselves. Not to be a smart ass but that goes both ways in many relationships.

As much as I despised my X I was always willing to make sure she had something to say she got to her friends. Even after we were long apart I still felt a need to make sure she did not feel left out on mother's day and stuff. No matter who it is that is the kind of hurt no one should be embarassed about. Like you say you know the other girls are going to ask it is a given.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Thanks Min back to you

I like to fool around just like the next but really I am a softy.

Box I sincerly hope you are having a good time and not completely serious. Not about the tooth brushes but she had to ask? Not that she shouldn't once in a while but you make it sound like she otherwise would not know.

Scratching my head, why would anyone in love not want to share those feelings without being asked?

 

[minsue]

Thanks Min back to you

I like to fool around just like the next but really I am a softy.

Box I sincerly hope you are having a good time and not completely serious. Not about the tooth brushes but she had to ask? Not that she shouldn't once in a while but you make it sound like she otherwise would not know.

Scratching my head, why would anyone in love not want to share those feelings without being asked?

Right there with ya, Phil. One of my best friends has always claimed to be confused as to why it's a big deal to say, "I love you." Especially the first time it's said between two people. She says she just doesn't understand why you should have to say it at all and that the other person should just know. Claims no one in her family ever says it. It makes me very sad. She did get used to me telling her, though, and when she's drunk she tells me she loves me.

- Mindy

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Right there with ya, Phil. One of my best friends has always claimed to be confused as to why it's a big deal to say, "I love you." Especially the first time it's said between two people. She says she just doesn't understand why you should have to say it at all and that the other person should just know. Claims no one in her family ever says it. It makes me very sad. She did get used to me telling her, though, and when she's drunk she tells me she loves me.

- Mindy

[Laughing] I can relate to the drunk friends and the I luves you man! As I really don't drink it can be quite anoying, but is welcomed as a good friend cares.

I will say it is hard for me to say I love you to a girl for the first time. It really takes a while before those words come out. That kind of cheap I love you let us have sex now is just not me.

We can have sex. But if I say I love you it is because I do.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Thanks Min back to you

I like to fool around just like the next but really I am a softy.

Box I sincerly hope you are having a good time and not completely serious. Not about the tooth brushes but she had to ask? Not that she shouldn't once in a while but you make it sound like she otherwise would not know.

Scratching my head, why would anyone in love not want to share those feelings without being asked?

Of course I'm kidding about that. I tell her I love her not every day, but several times a week. I'm not entirely joking about the toothbrushes. I do give her a new toothbrush but I also have gotten her a nice necklace this year to go with some earrings she already has. Plus, I will buy flowers the night before. She isn't much for candy and if I bought her any, I would end up eating most of it.

Occasionally, she does ask me if I love her and I usually say something like "Yeah, I guess so," just to hear her laugh, because she knows I do. I have no trouble telling my wife I love her because it is the truth.

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Awe, now see that is what I am envious of.