Respond with Monty Python

[DappleDoxie]

I chop down trees, I wear high heels, suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie ... Just like my dear papa.

 

[HBergeron]

Alan: Well, last week we showed you how to be a gynaecologist. And this week on 'How to Do It' we're going to learn how to play the flute, how to split the atom, how to construct box girder bridges and how to irrigate the Sahara and make vast new areas cultivatable, but first, here's Jackie to tell you how to rid the world of all known diseases.

Jackie: Hello Alan.

Alan: Hello Jackie.

Jackie: Well, first of all become a doctor and discover a marvelous cure for something, and then, when the medical world really starts to take notice of you, you can jolly well tell them what to do and make sure they get everything right so there'll never be diseases any more.

Alan: Thanks Jackie, that was great.

Noel: Fantastic.

 

[Hornblende]

Bring out your dead!

 

[Hornblende]

Bump

Fourth Bruce: Gentleman, I'd like to introduce man from Pommeyland who is joinin' us this year in the philosophy department at the University of Walamaloo.

Everybruce: G'day!

Michael: Hello.

Fourth Bruce: Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce. Michael Baldwin, Bruce.

First Bruce: Is your name not Bruce?

Michael: No, it's Michael.

Second Bruce: That's going to cause a little confusion.

Third Bruce: Mind if we call you 'Bruce' to keep it clear?

 

[kurrginatorX]

And now for something completely different.

 

[MrEd63]

And now for something completely different.

I've put two by the bins this week but the bin men won't take them

 

[SithLordSexyPants1]

So remember when you're feeling very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space
Cause there's bugger-all down here on Earth

 

[Hornblende]

DAD: Come in, my little loves. I've got no option but to sell you all for scientific experiments.

CHILDREN: [whining]

DAD: No, no. That's the way it is, my loves. Blame the Catholic church for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things. Oh, they've done some wonderful things in their time. They preserved the might and majesty, the mystery of the Church of Rome, and the sanctity of the sacraments, the indivisible oneness of the Trinity, but if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.

BOY: Couldn't Mummy have worn some sort of pesssary?

DAD: Not if we're going to remain members of the fastest growing religion in the world, my boy.

 

[kurrginatorX]

Life's a piece of shit when you look at it.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

"Is your wife a ... go-er? Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. Say-no-more"

 

[Gemma_0]

"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...I fart in your general direction."

 

[CyanideJezebel]

"Oh,look. There's some lovely filth over here."

 

[SithLordSexyPants1]

“What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

 

[TheMrBurns]

Venezuelan beaver cheese?

 

[HBergeron]

https://brugmanpraat.typepad.com/.a/6a01347ff3d6ca970c022ad3c34fda200b-600wi

 

[Hornblende]

BRIAN: Are you the Judean People's Front?

REG: Fuck off!

BRIAN: What?

REG: Judean People's Front. We're the People's Front of Judea! Judean People's Front. Cawk.

FRANCIS: Wankers.

BRIAN: Can I... join your group?

REG: No. Piss off.

 

[HBergeron]

We’re baby mad and Camelot
we nurse and push the pram a lot
in war we’re tough and able
quite indefatigable
between our quests we sequin vests
and dress like Betty Gable [sic]

 

[MrEd63]

“What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”

African or European?

 

[Gemma_0]

"Democracy stems from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony."

 

[Hornblende]

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?

 

[dashie33]

"Hello, Mrs. Entity."

 

[DarkSimian]

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition....

 

[TheMrBurns]

I have a vewy good fwiend in Wome called Bigus Dickus.

 

[kurrginatorX]

(Running, running, running, running, running) It's …

 

[Hornblende]

Explain again how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.