Respect?

[AKFHPhantom]

I feel like I am a alien, It seems to me that the older members (2002-2008) Seem to treat me like a parisite. I wish that I would be taken under the wing, and not despised by the older members. I ask you, How do I get alon with the older members, even if they dislike me cause I am new?

 

[CWatson]

First off, making sure you spell everything correctly will help. "Parasite" is the proper way. (This is the problem with being on a literature site.)

Second, it also depends on where you post. Each board judges by different standards, and depending on your personality, demeanor and physical endownments you'll get a different reception. So try looking around in lots of places out here, see where you best fit in.

 

[LaChica]

Generally the Lit community are very friendly and acceptable.
But if you start posting something that do not go well with the community, then you know where you lie.

 

[nakdsub]

I guess my first question would be...

Why do you feel people here don't like you?

 

[Boundlife]

I took a peek and I saw you posted on sexual roleplaying and the general board.
I don't know how the rp board works but general is hard to get into

 

[silverwhisper]

you created a profile on lit this month, have 44 posts and you feel like you don't know anyone? um...that's called normal.

you're still new here. don't worry about being new: just get involved in a few discussions.

each forum & subforum has its own kinda vibe. if you've been on the general board, you'll already know it moves stupidly fast and that snark is the only thing that matters. by contrast, how to--and the HT cafe, its subforum--move a lot more slowly and people are generally nice here.

you might find it easier to focus on a forum or 3 and figure out who the "usual suspects" in them are.

ed

 

[Pandora73]

Well, from just a quick glance at your posting history I can see that other than Sexual Role Playing, the only forum you've really posted in is the General Board. The GB can be a rough environment, to say the least. I would recommend maybe venturing outside that forum into some of the others. I think you'll find many of the other forums a bit more accepting and welcoming to newer members (or rather, just people in general). Personally (and this is strictly just my opinion), I wouldn't hang out on the GB if you paid me. What a cluster.

Edit: I see Boundlife (and Ed!) beat me to it.

 

[duy2012]

you're still new here. don't worry about being new: just get involved in a few discussions.

 

[wicked woman]

I feel like I am a alien, It seems to me that the older members (2002-2008) Seem to treat me like a parisite. I wish that I would be taken under the wing, and not despised by the older members. I ask you, How do I get alon with the older members, even if they dislike me cause I am new?

I'll be honest. You've been here less than a month and only have 44 posts. I doubt most people have noticed you enough to despise you.


In addition to the other good advice you've gotten already, think about the content of the book 'Everything I needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten' and play nice...oh and stay away from the GB. They eat noobies for fun.

 

[RAddams]

It's probably just a matter of older members being more familiar with each other than us new folks. Once they get to know you better they will seem to respect you more.

Besides being new can be great sometimes and I for one like to try new things.

 

[subwannabe]

What exactly is it you want from the experience? I can tell you that the general board is a cligue unto itself and for the most part, a pretty worthless environment. I'm not really sure why it is even here. Most there don't even talk about sex and this is a Literotica website. Unless that is what you want I suggest not even reading the GB and stick to the other forums.

 

[SweetErika]

No, the GB is typically NOT a good place to start out or get recognition or praise unless one has a very thick skin and can deal with the snark and sharks there. It can be interesting and you likely won't be messed with if you have a higher post count, can ignore what you don't like and aren't looking to make waves. Most of the jerks there are all bark and very little bite, but there are some genuinely good regulars there as well (observe to see who they are and where they typically post). If you want fluffy love as well as discussion on a variety of topics, The Playground is far more suitable.

The main things with ALL of the forums are to observe, inform yourself (e.g. read the stickies), follow the site rules and community norms, and take a sufficient amount of time to truly get to know people. If you do those things, you'll likely find the forums and threads that suit you, make friends and have fun. If you don't, well, good luck.

What exactly is it you want from the experience? I can tell you that the general board is a cligue unto itself and for the most part, a pretty worthless environment. I'm not really sure why it is even here. Most there don't even talk about sex and this is a Literotica website. Unless that is what you want I suggest not even reading the GB and stick to the other forums.

To be fair, this community discusses far more than sex and erotica (do you bemoan every non-sexual thread here?) and I'm sure plenty of GBers feel the same about many of the other forums here. It's one of the quickest moving forums, so obviously it's worth something to many people. And there are certainly good people who frequent the GB, just as there are good people who frequent the other forums. It's just that it's essentially unmoderated, so one will see anything and everything on there, there are far different standards/norms, and that attracts a wide variety of people.

The purpose it serves is freer discussion of different topics, and that's a good thing, IMO. After all, do you really want all of the GB threads spread around the other forums? I didn't think so.

Every forum has its purpose and every person has their place here. I'd be willing to bet that some members even feel that your often abrasive style is better suited to the GB than HT. Let's not get into a forum superiority pissing match or put down the decent people who enjoy other forums, including the GB, for whatever reason(s). If you want to do that, you should cart yourself off to the GB because there are plenty of threads and posts on those topics there.

 

[subwannabe]

Whoaa. Talk about abrasive. All I did was ask the OP what they wanted from the experience, and said that the GB was a clique unto itself, which it is. OK, I did say that it was a pretty worthless environment, that I'm not really sure why it is there, and that most there don't even talk about sex - but that was in response to the OP's complaint.

I didn't say "the GB is typically NOT a good place to start out or get recognition or praise unless one has a very thick skin and can deal with the snark and sharks there. It can be interesting and you likely won't be messed with if you have a higher post count, can ignore what you don't like and aren't looking to make waves. Most of the jerks there are all bark and very little bite."That was you who said that.

I never said I bemoan every non sexual thread here. I merely meant that this is a literotica site and that 95% of all GB posts have nothing to do with the topic. I am at a complete loss as to understand why I get attacked for my post when you said far worse about the GB in the very same post where you attacked me. I think you give a lot of really great and terrific advice here almost all of the time, but, I never agree when you single out posters and basically criticize their individual posts. I know I am far from perfect.

 

[SweetErika]

Your post read as very anti-GB to me, as did many of the other posts in this thread. I responded to yours in particular due to the addition of words like "worthless" and "I'm not really sure why it's even there." I told you why it was NOT worthless and why it IS here, and even added that there are plenty of decent people who frequent the GB.

You're attempting to take part of my post out of context, but that's a no-go because the part you highlighted wasn't even negative WRT the GB. It was simply advice, and I'd give that same advice about most forums/boards (nearly all have snarky comments and utter jerks - some just put it out there more than others).

Many of your posts read as GB-esque to me. That's just my opinion, and doesn't mean you shouldn't post here by any means. It's good to have variety, which was the entire point of my post.

 

[AKFHPhantom]

Why do you feel people here don't like you?

Just a few posts on the GB, some people talk to me (And other new members) Like a lesser being.

 

[AKFHPhantom]

Well, from just a quick glance at your posting history I can see that other than Sexual Role Playing, the only forum you've really posted in is the General Board. The GB can be a rough environment, to say the least. I would recommend maybe venturing outside that forum into some of the others. I think you'll find many of the other forums a bit more accepting and welcoming to newer members (or rather, just people in general). Personally (and this is strictly just my opinion), I wouldn't hang out on the GB if you paid me. What a cluster.

Edit: I see Boundlife (and Ed!) beat me to it.

Thanks man, other than the SRP forum, there isnt many places to have a general location that people can post and discuss that I have discovered.

 

[fire_breeze]

Just a few posts on the GB, some people talk to me (And other new members) Like a lesser being.

As it was mentioned before, GB can be an... interesting place. It can get ugly fast, and unless you have a thick skin, you're advised to be wary.

Actually, I've heard the GB ritualistically slaughter kitties, roast their toes over fires in gator stomach, and sharpen their teeth fangs. And this is just for breakfast.

I suggest that you do what has been recommended by numerous others. Lurk around the various forums. The Playground is light-hearted and fun, although there are some in-depth conversation going around (it's there, you just have to find them). BDSM Cafe is also a nice, inviting place for those in the lifestyle. The Darkroom Lounge, the Hangout and the Lounge is very comfortable place for those who are the artistic type. You just have to find your niche. Once you do, just observe several threads that you find interesting and then join in.

A few key things. If you do join in a game thread, pay attention. I play the questions thread, and it a) irks me like no tomorrow when someone skips a bunch of posts, b) doesn't follow the rules of the game and c) doesn't respond. Often, people will welcome you. Say thank you. You can strike up a conversation in no time.

And yes, it's literotica. However, some n00bs will focus on the erotica part and forget that it's also lit where, in the words of the great VelvetDarkness, the size of your polysyllable matters. It can get frustrating when some asshat wants to know my favourite position after I've asked what's your favourite cell phone.

Be polite, be respectful, be yourself, and have fun.

Good luck and enjoy your stay

 

[SweetErika]

Just a few posts on the GB, some people talk to me (And other new members) Like a lesser being.

I'm not defending that behavior, but it might help to think of it like newbies on the GB are similar to military recruits in Boot Camp, or the beginning phases of their training. You know, the Drill Sergeants and trainers yell at them, jump on their asses for every little thing, punish and generally run them into the ground to break the new soldiers down before seeing who can truly cut it/deal with the pressure and then they build them up into the soldiers the military wants. If the recruit can't hack it, the military is happy to send them off to something that suits them better.

The GB is similar: they "haze" newbies to some extent see how they deal with different situations, what their traits might be and whether or not they have a thick enough skin to deal with that particular group and environment or appear to be an alt. When people respond well to it by coming back with witty remarks, snark of their own, or even attractive pics, they're generally accepted as part of the group and will be built up and treated as equals over time. When newbies can't deal with it (or choose not to), the GB'ers are happy to have them find other forums to root themselves in, so those new members are sent off "crying to their mommas" and not given a second thought unless they make another go of it at some point (in which case they may avoid some or all of the hazing because there's a general sense that it takes guts to return when they know what they're probably in for a second or third time around).

There are always exceptions, and [especially attractive] female newbies are usually treated somewhat better than their male counterparts, but that's what I've been able to make of the situation and dynamic in my time here.

 

[bailadora]

<snip>
And yes, it's literotica. However, some n00bs will focus on the erotica part and forget that it's also lit where, in the words of the great VelvetDarkness, the size of your polysyllable matters. It can get frustrating when some asshat wants to know my favourite position after I've asked what's your favourite cell phone.

Damn, I miss her. That's got to be one of the best retorts EVAH!

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Just a few posts on the GB, some people talk to me (And other new members) Like a lesser being.

I can't help but think that if you feel like a 'lesser being' because of a few people on the internet, then you might need to take up a real life, out of the house hobby.

 

[amofiga]

I feel like I am a alien, It seems to me that the older members (2002-2008) Seem to treat me like a parisite. I wish that I would be taken under the wing, and not despised by the older members. I ask you, How do I get alon with the older members, even if they dislike me cause I am new?

I'm relatively new here myself but have generally found that most people are respectful of what someone has to say as long as you say it objectively and don't try to be too opinionated. One of the reasons I found my way here at the recommendation of someone on another similar site, is that I believed that there would be less censorship and less judgement. People here should feel that they are free to open up and discuss any sort of topic, including and especially the ones that they would never feel comfortable about discussing in their own personal life. I've seen some strong political and religious opinions expressed as well as some sexual issues discussed that I might not personally agree with or chose to engage in. However, I'd hope that anybody would have the right to express their own thoughts about any matter as long as they are civil and respectful.

 

[bailadora]

<snip> I've seen some strong political and religious opinions expressed as well as some sexual issues discussed that I might not personally agree with or chose to engage in. However, I'd hope that anybody would have the right to express their own thoughts about any matter as long as they are civil and respectful.

That's pretty much the HT forum "culture". That's not to say you won't be challenged WRT to your opinion or position, but for the most part people try to keep it civil. Conversation gets rather vigorous at times, but rarely does it get nasty or discordant. Of course, there are some who like to be total dickheads, but thankfully they are few and far between.