Research for a Story - Help?

[curiositykitten]

Hi Y'all,
I'm takin' a chance here, but I'm working on a story and wondering if anybody might help me with some research: I'm sure others out there have had a relationship that just went stale - got routine, boring, and simply dull - until it was no more. (I mean, we're here, aren't we?) So I'm wondering if you might share some of the mistakes that were made - or even some the things that you wish you'd done to spice it up! You can either reply here or PM me, if you prefer. And thanks for your help! And if this familiar story has been written already, probably many times, you can let me know that too! But I might still give it a try anyway!

 

[Kev H]

First of all, welcome. You have come to the right place for insightful, and often helpful info. If it gets out of hand, well, that's an amusing side effect of so many writers who are desperate to put off their writing (or work or anything else).

In that vein, let me be one of the first to put off my writing for this particular thread:

One of the greatest mistakes we can make is the belief/assumption that we can "make this work"--even in a relationship that feels like a mistake to one or both parties. Humans abhor the idea of starting over and often pay the price with that lame duck syndrome.

The easiest way to spice up a dull relationship, of course, is to end it--but that's not often a spice people find palatable. Sometimes, it is possible to morph the relationship--I had best friends who had more sex in the months after their divorce than they had in the year before it (painful experience for an empathetic person to be privvy to). I have also changed a bad relationship to the "friends with benefits." Opposite of the usual, to be sure, and very difficult, but possible and for almost a year was so very worth it. (I helped move her 12 hours away, which worked wonders for our relationship until she shit on our friendship. Then it was easy and painless to cut all ties.)

There is nearly limitless material, both fascinating (to psycho-analize) and relevent, so I'd definately not worry about the mass of previous stories--show us your interesting contribution to this nutty mess called relationships.

Happy writing.

Kev