Repeating yourself in your stories

[Djmac1031]

So I wrote this passage in part 21 of my Jenna series, the newest chapter:

"Finally releasing her lips with a wet smack, she opened wide to reveal the gooey mess I'd deposited on her tongue, then swallowed with an exaggerated gulp."

Then, while reviewing some old chapters for a piece of info, I found this passage I'd written way back in part 10:

"Pulling my only slightly deflated cock from her lips, she opened wide and stuck out her tongue, showing me the gooey mess I'd left there. Then her mouth popped close and she swallowed my cum with an exaggerated gulp."

Do you other writers find yourself doing this? Accidently writing almost the exact same passages or descriptions when it comes to your sex scenes?

Do you think readers notice it?

And can it be avoided, or is it simply the perils of attempting to write sex scenes?

 

[TheRedChamber]

I did find earlier today that I'd used a variation of the phrase "I don't have any unreasonable [sexual] expectations, despite your best effort to create some for me." in two of my stories - the second time I wrote it thinking I was being original.

For the sex, I don't worry too much about repetition too much - there's only so many ways to describe something - hopefully I've done the enough work on the characters, location and other unique selling points that people care.

 

[neuroparenthetical]

I've been lucky enough to avoid repetition outside of sex scenes, though I've had a few close calls. "All good things must come to an end" is an incredibly versatile transition out of sex and into other stuff. As far as the sex stuff goes, though, it turns out that there are a finite number of ways to skin a cat. It's hard to justify the effort when the entire point is to communicate clearly and concisely a particular sex act in a particular position.

An old girlfriend once explained her lack of interest in traditional pornography by saying that so much of it felt mechanical. I think that's a decent enough way to describe the anti-literary qualities of the brass tacks in smut stories. I, of course, did not (and do not) share her reticence. I still thought it was an adroit observation.

If yet another pair of sex partners in another one of my stories is waking up together and then having cuddle-fuck PIV or anal, well... I think I can save my literary ambition for the table-setting, the character work, or even the dialogue surrounding it.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

At some point in the distant future I may have enough attentive readers to notice. In the meantime I have just taken a series, excised all the bits of gay sex, and posted it in a different category (EC) - I did put an explanation at the top, but much doubt anyone would read both. Or enough of any of my stories close enough together to remember details.

 

[Magineer]

Do you other writers find yourself doing this? Accidently writing almost the exact same passages or descriptions when it comes to your sex scenes?

Do you think readers notice it?

And can it be avoided, or is it simply the perils of attempting to write sex scenes?

One has to shrug. Writers are no different from the general run of people in having their preferences when it comes to what they find "on-turning". As soon as you make a deliberate choice to write about what doesn't interest you (in order to avoid this kind of repetition), the likelihood is that your enthusiasm will drop and the quality of your writing will suffer in consequence.

I suspect the tendency is all but inevitable. One just has to maintain awareness of it and dodge its worst excesses!

What can be avoided, with careful use of synonyms and a thorough plundering of the O.E.D., is recurrence of identical vocabulary and phraseology. Readers will definitely notice otherwise... at least, the more literate will.

 

[other2other1]

I think there is value in a certain amount of repetition, especially in longer stories. But I think the key is in how you reposition what you are saying if your going to repeat yourself. If your repeating it for a new character then keep it short. If your repeating something to progress the plot and remind your reader of what happened in the past, I find that trying to bring context of the current situation helpful to ensure your reader doesn't think WTF, did I read that earlier.

In some of the scenes where I think I used that word or phrase to describe the same thing two paragraphs ago, if I catch myself I try to find a different way to say the same contextual meaning.

I agree with Magineer above, we're all just usual people. And none of us are getting paid to write these stories, we do it for our own reasons, if now and then a phrase or sense comes accross similar to another one in the story, the trolls will tell us, just shrug, smile, then open your next story and keep writing with a smile on you face

 

[ElectricBlue]

I have number of tropes constantly repeated across stories.

I think my followers expect them: "Ahh, good, an EB action or image, I'm in safe hands; all will be good."

Basically, I'm lazy .

 

[Djmac1031]

think there is value in a certain amount of repetition, especially in longer stories. But I think the key is in how you reposition what you are saying if your going to repeat yourself.

Oh, agreed, and I've repeated and expanded on certain themes as some of my stories have progressed.

I just try not to blatantly write the exact same sex scene lol.

But hey, it was within several different chapters so it's not like I repeated myself immediately lol.

 

[gunhilltrain]

So I wrote this passage in part 21 of my Jenna series, the newest chapter:

"Finally releasing her lips with a wet smack, she opened wide to reveal the gooey mess I'd deposited on her tongue, then swallowed with an exaggerated gulp."

Then, while reviewing some old chapters for a piece of info, I found this passage I'd written way back in part 10:

"Pulling my only slightly deflated cock from her lips, she opened wide and stuck out her tongue, showing me the gooey mess I'd left there. Then her mouth popped close and she swallowed my cum with an exaggerated gulp."

Do you other writers find yourself doing this? Accidently writing almost the exact same passages or descriptions when it comes to your sex scenes?

Do you think readers notice it?

And can it be avoided, or is it simply the perils of attempting to write sex scenes?

I don't think I'd ever attempt twenty-one chapters, for one thing. I have a series on another site that has, including "unattached" sequels and digressions, maybe fifteen submissions. I'm slowly moving a version of it onto Lit.

Do I repeat myself in sex scenes? Probably to some degree, although I try to balance off those scenes with other material. I rarely write about truly lousy sex, but I have some couples who break up, usually with little or no warning to the male participant. I suspect that is pretty common since at least the 1960s. There was one story with disappointing sex that I eventually replaced because it seemed more interesting that way, and I went on to make a series out of it. They break up in five months anyway.

 

[KeithD]

There's limited variation to Tab A in Slot B, but there's infinite variation in how you get to that point.

 

[Priscilla_June]

I very much hate to do it myself, and consciously (or maybe over consciously) compensate for it. Yet I don’t think I notice it when I am reading other’s writing. Unless of course it is near to eachother, the type of repeating that gets to me is when terms/phrases are repeated unnecessarily in a sentence or in a paragraph.

Otherwise I am sure your readers enjoyed the aspect of your first story, so perhaps they were happy to see it again?

 

[Djmac1031]

Otherwise I am sure your readers enjoyed the aspect of your first story, so perhaps they were happy to see it again?

No one's called me out on it yet lol. I mean it's been a few months and 11 chapters between, so...

 

[SimonDoom]

Hell, yes, I do this. I've been making more of an effort to edit my stories to avoid repetition. I recently wrote a story where a reader complained how many times I mentioned that the main character was 54. The reader was right.

 

[Wifetheif]

In my Amazon alias, one of my regular readers pointed out that I tended to describe women's breasts as "conical" I haven't used it since. Vocabulary expansion is a good thing.

 

[Priscilla_June]

No one's called me out on it yet lol. I mean it's been a few months and 11 chapters between, so...

See, they totally love it

 

[LiverpoolMaster]

I don't know about anyone else but, personally, I've been looking for an alternative for "as" for twenty years...

 

[Priscilla_June]

I don't know about anyone else but, personally, I've been looking for an alternative for "as" for twenty years...

“In essence of”

I guess it depends on the context.

 

[neuroparenthetical]

I don't know about anyone else but, personally, I've been looking for an alternative for "as" for twenty years...

Shorter sentences!

Shorter sentences make the longer ones mean more to the reader when they appear. The same is true for sentences that use 'as' to group a bunch of quasi-simultaneous events/actions/thoughts together. If you drop too many - especially consecutively - the reader gets exhausted. Make each one count.

Words like 'as' and 'had' serve double or triple duty in English. That makes it even more imperative to cut down on their usage overall. It's not fair, but every "as I was saying" contributes to that same 'as' exhaustion, even though you can vociferously object on grammatical grounds. Likewise with every "had I known that" for the 'had' exhaustion.

 

[lovecraft68]

There's a case to be made that some repetition, like that of a certain description or phrase has some merit. It becomes like a catch phrase, something regular readers recognize and enjoy.
I follow some you tubers who do movie reviews-usually mocking the movie to some extent-and they will use the same lines in each video, and I find I look forward to how they'll use it in the next one.
Now doing it multiple times in the same story would be a bit much, but I think once a story could be fun.
Making it more fun is if it sticks with the reader to the point they think of it or say it
Example, Cinema Sins has a line for when a scene really drags out "This goes on for quite some time." I say that all the time now, and had it running through my head at a meeting at work last week.
Also gives a feeling of comfortable familiarity with the readers.

 

[Djmac1031]

There's a case to be made that some repetition, like that of a certain description or phrase has some merit. It becomes like a catch phrase, something regular readers recognize and enjoy.

Again, agreed. My Jenna character regularly gets described as having a "trademark grin." There's a visual of her in MY head when I write it, and even though readers may see her differently than I do, I'm sure they'll see the same facial expression they visualize every time I use that phrase.

 

[Priscilla_June]

Again, agreed. My Jenna character regularly gets described as having a "trademark grin." There's a visual of her in MY head when I write it, and even though readers may see her differently than I do, I'm sure they'll see the same facial expression they visualize every time I use that phrase.

Thats a whole other discussion I’ve been wondering about how as an author I visualize my characters vs how the readers do. It plays interestingly into being redundant because if there is a specific characteristic I want my readers to know about my character I do feel like I repeat it… but maybe its too much?

 

[Djmac1031]

I’ve been wondering about how as an author I visualize my characters vs how the readers do.

I have varied between being very specific on character descriptions (usually on the women) and leaving descriptions vague and open ended to allow readers to form their own visuals.

In the very first chapter of my Jenna series, I gave a pretty thorough description of her looks. But it was VERY early I'm my writing process and I wasn't quite sure how well I pulled it off. I had a visual of her in MY head, but would readers see her the same way?

Just a few weeks after posting it I received an email from a fellow writer / reader who enjoyed the story so much he created a visual artwork representation of Jenna on his computer.

To my absolute shock, he nailed every single detail. It was like she had crawled out of my head and into the picture. I was blown away.

Still one of the best compliments about my writing I've ever received, that I described her clear enough for him to have so fully captured her image.

That said, it's perfectly fine if readers see our characters differently than we do.

And sometimes it's even better to allow them that freedom to form their own mental picture.

It lets them to insert their personal preferences into the story, or even insert themselves as a character if they wish, allowing the tale to become more personal and relatable to them.

 

[Nylonian]

So I wrote this passage in part 21 of my Jenna series, the newest chapter:

"Finally releasing her lips with a wet smack, she opened wide to reveal the gooey mess I'd deposited on her tongue, then swallowed with an exaggerated gulp."

Then, while reviewing some old chapters for a piece of info, I found this passage I'd written way back in part 10:

"Pulling my only slightly deflated cock from her lips, she opened wide and stuck out her tongue, showing me the gooey mess I'd left there. Then her mouth popped close and she swallowed my cum with an exaggerated gulp."

Do you other writers find yourself doing this? Accidently writing almost the exact same passages or descriptions when it comes to your sex scenes?

Do you think readers notice it?

And can it be avoided, or is it simply the perils of attempting to write sex scenes?

Sometimes I'll use repetition to emphasise a point or for one character to tease another but never by accident.
It can definitely be avoided with a bit of creativity and vigilance in your verbiage.

 

[Djmac1031]

It can definitely be avoided with a bit of creativity and vigilance in your verbiage

Well I'm still relatively new to this, so I'm still on a learning curve lol.

At least it was several chapters later before I did that. Far less agregious than, say, repeating a similar passage in the same chapter or the very next one.

 

[ElectricBlue]

To my absolute shock, he nailed every single detail. It was like she had crawled out of my head and into the picture. I was blown away.

Still one of the best compliments about my writing I've ever received, that I described her clear enough for him to have so fully captured her image.

Yes, it's a buzz when that happens. I often collect a bunch of images to inform the portrayal of characters, and for a recent story a commenter said, "I picture Monica Bellucci when I picture Ruby," (my leading lady) - she was in one of the pics I'd collected.

And more recently, I asked a fellow writer to visualise another of my characters - she sent me an image that was just about the spitting image of the real person who was my inspiration. And I don't go out of my way to write overt "descriptions", so it's the build up of tiny details that creates the picture.