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Oh Lord. I have so many from this year alone, maybe I am just picky, but CHEESE AND RICE.
So, going back a few years ago when I was in uni. I had a few random dates from online and one from a guy who legit picked me up on the street.
I, like PLP probably should have been murdered 5 times as well.
THE UKRANIAN..Ermmm English enthusiast:
Went on a date with this introverted Ukranian guy. We went to a coffee shop on campus. He was nice in that he paid for the coffee and all, but it was like a legitimate interview. He was studying to be an engineer. He asked me no questions and EVEYTHING he ever wanted to do had to do with England.
Where do you want to travel? England.
What is your passion in life? I want to swim the english channel.
Favourite film? James Bond.
Please if you're familiar with England, go ahead and think of some of the questions I would have asked and then answer them as if you were him. Seriously. It was weird.
I mean...I remeber all of this because it was so bizarre. Even though this was a decade ago.
He didn't ask me a single question. He went on to message me a day later to say what a great date it was and how he wanted to go out again.
I did not respond...
THE PR...Fork Lift Driver:
Guy seemed decent. He said he worked in Public Relations. Had the same degree as I, had an opinion. Seemed cool.
Wow. So, we met at a bar for a drink. He had lied. He was a fork lift driver at home depot. Had an overbite. Was not 5'9 more like 5'6 (I'm 5'9). Talked about eating expired grocery store food. Going to the gun range (which in Canada is a little weird tbh, not liek the US) and all around had issues. We spent 6 hours out with him talking. He complained when the bill came saying how expensive it was. He was drunk. I was not. I paid the $80.00 bill and ran to grab a cab. He came out after me, yelling at me. Saying he didn't understand why I wouldn't let him drive me home (he was DRUNK) and that I was a "Stupid fucking whore".
Great night. Hand clap.
THE DRC:
One day in my 2nd year of Uni I was walking home. Minding my own BIDNESS. Had my headphones on, not a care in the world when this guy stopped me on the street and asked for directions. I gave them to him, and asked me if I was attending uni and I said I was. He was in International Development and I was in Poli Sci. He seemed harmless, but wanted my uni email account and said maybe we can chat sometime. I was oblivious and was like...yeah sure. Whatevs.
Anyway, I guess the guy emailed me right away because when I got home he wanted to meet up for a coffee to chat. A few days later we did. This guy was older than me. And at the time I didn't realize how much older, but he was significantly older. I was 19 and he was probably around 35 or closer to 40. He was an international student from the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
I thought we were going to go to the Second Cup on campus. Nahhhh that was too easy. We had to get in his BMW and drive 15 blocks to a Tim Hortons. He bought me coffee, and I thought we were going to talk about our education. OH BUDDY. I was wrong.
He wanted to talk to me about if I was single. I said I was single, but it was because I was going away to study abroad in my next year (which I did). He seemed oblivious to this. He told me that this was okay. LOL, GET THIS. He would let me go away for a year. Come back and then we could get married and have kids.
I was like..ERMMMMMMM. Keeping in mind, this was the first time we ever spoke. He had planned out my future. I then tried hard to curtail the conversation with some humor and lay down the law. I just said to him I was gay. I was attracted to women and didn't want to get married or have kids. He told me it was okay. It was a phase and that he would "show me" that it was just a phase. Note: I am not gay, but i just didn't know how else to get through his head i wasn't interested. He was really aggressive.
Needless to say, this was one of those times i needed to trust my gut and I didnt. I was still new to the city and didnt know where I was, because he had driven me far off campus. He drove me home, all the while rubbing the inside of my thighs and when I got out (i kept trying to push him away), he tried to kiss me. To which I ran and slammed the door in his face.
I ran into my apartment where my girl friends were and i lost my damn mind. I never cry and I was shaking and losing it.
All that to say, the next say he invited me by email to have a party with him and his friends. Yeah, i never responded. He followed up a few times and eventually gave up. I was like...yeah...party with me and his friends. Sure.
The more recent ones aren't as bad, but sometimes I wonder what happened to men. Like....You're on a date, not out with YOUR DUDES. Fuckkkkk
Then, I’m out.
Check my history... this is the only online "dating" site I have ever been on.
Have met many women via dating sites.
Even though I explicitly specify that I do not want to re-marry, that does not deter most of the women with whom I have gone out. I think their strategy is that I will be so charmed and captivated with their beauty, wit, and sexuality that I will fall to my knees offering a ring just out of gratitude for their company. But after I demur, very quickly I am ghosted. But it was fun for a while....
This.
My bff received several messages from a fella who was (thanks to a plastic surgeon) gradually turning into an elf.
Pointy ears and all.
Ha ha! You both did pretty well for yourselves!
![]()
So I've got a nibble in my POF box whose username is nvrgnagvuup.
Dod he let you go?
Did he tell a lie, and hurt you???![]()
Not yet.
I'm waiting to see if he runs around and deserts me.
So I've got a nibble in my POF box whose username is nvrgnagvuup.
So I've got a nibble in my POF box whose username is nvrgnagvuup.
Dod he let you go?
Did he tell a lie, and hurt you???![]()
Not yet.
I'm waiting to see if he runs around and deserts me.
So good.![]()
So... You got Rick Rolled by a dating app?
The Internet must be stopped!
So I've got a nibble in my POF box whose username is nvrgnagvuup.
Maybe its a 'Cry for help'
I am ashamed I could even think of another Rick Astley single.
Get a life!
I don't think that was a single, was it?
However, 'Goodbye but not the end' is.....![]()
Nooooo
Don't go yet, you just got back!
At least wait til I've had my coffee and told you about last night"s winners.![]()