Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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Reflections on Gentleman Doms
- Thread starter Wild_Honey_66
- Start date
A
Amalgamation
Guest
what is this? A whiny Dom?
*spanks*
Hahaha. No AV for you. That'll show ya.
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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<interjects>
Pervy? I neeeed you to get an AV. Pretty please?
</end interjection>
No derailing this thread...either one of you...
There have been great comments here.
Litequette...
There are so few places where real dialogue happens.
I am making a quiet but earnest request.
Thank you.
Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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Wild_Honey_66
sweet freak
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cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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Dunno...might have to ask one of you Doms to wield it for me.
I'm better with my tongue. Lol
Kisses to y'all
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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http://56.media.tumblr.com/99e3b9680ad6a11625315b3dafbd22a6/tumblr_o2iatvyxxG1tal4vvo1_500.jpg
Seattle, WA
They paused in the middle of the bridge to take in the view.
The city was lit up against the night sky; skyscrapers glimmering with illuminated offices and blinking red lights.
Behind them the dark waters of the bay shimmered with the reflected light of the waning moon and the shifting lights of the Ferris wheel.
A steady, cool breeze rose and fell, dancing through the fabric of her dress.
She sighed blissfully as she looked up at the city.
His attention was drawn to the longing look on her face.
Her eyes, green and gentle, drifted casually from one tower to the next.
Her lips were slightly parted as if waiting for a kiss.
Strands of hair floated into her pretty face, prompting a small hand to lift and push them back.
It was then she noticed it wasn’t the beauty of the city he was admiring.
Embarrassed she asked him sheepishly, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He smiled, his gaze shifting to meet her eyes.
It was that moment he fell in love with her.
She didn’t know it yet, but like a thief he’d slipped his heart into her pocket so she would take it home with her.
After a brief moment he finally replied, “Because you were made to be looked at.”
from Dominant in Seattle
There is nothing overtly sexual about this story...yet it is beautiful and erotic and she is clearly a sub... and he is clearly a Dom.
But they are also just two people, together, on a bridge, in the night falling in love.
I think it is important to remember that this sweetness can be as important in forging a bond between two people ~ these moments that are carried with you and remembered for a lifetime...I would contend they are more important than any intense session or play that sends the pyl into subspace and gives the PYL that intense high from controlling utterly and shaping every moment that came before.
It brings to mind something that cowslinger said on another thread about taking care of his sub... making sure she was warm and cared for in the dailyness of comings and goings and cars in the night. Not being "careless" and having his sub "serve him."
Relationships are connections - they go two ways. Always. And so the moment in the above story that makes my heart stop every time I read it is this, "like a thief he’d slipped his heart into her pocket so she would take it home with her." He has given his heart to her. And entrusted it to her care.
Seattle, WA
They paused in the middle of the bridge to take in the view.
The city was lit up against the night sky; skyscrapers glimmering with illuminated offices and blinking red lights.
Behind them the dark waters of the bay shimmered with the reflected light of the waning moon and the shifting lights of the Ferris wheel.
A steady, cool breeze rose and fell, dancing through the fabric of her dress.
She sighed blissfully as she looked up at the city.
His attention was drawn to the longing look on her face.
Her eyes, green and gentle, drifted casually from one tower to the next.
Her lips were slightly parted as if waiting for a kiss.
Strands of hair floated into her pretty face, prompting a small hand to lift and push them back.
It was then she noticed it wasn’t the beauty of the city he was admiring.
Embarrassed she asked him sheepishly, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
He smiled, his gaze shifting to meet her eyes.
It was that moment he fell in love with her.
She didn’t know it yet, but like a thief he’d slipped his heart into her pocket so she would take it home with her.
After a brief moment he finally replied, “Because you were made to be looked at.”
from Dominant in Seattle
There is nothing overtly sexual about this story...yet it is beautiful and erotic and she is clearly a sub... and he is clearly a Dom.
But they are also just two people, together, on a bridge, in the night falling in love.
I think it is important to remember that this sweetness can be as important in forging a bond between two people ~ these moments that are carried with you and remembered for a lifetime...I would contend they are more important than any intense session or play that sends the pyl into subspace and gives the PYL that intense high from controlling utterly and shaping every moment that came before.
It brings to mind something that cowslinger said on another thread about taking care of his sub... making sure she was warm and cared for in the dailyness of comings and goings and cars in the night. Not being "careless" and having his sub "serve him."
Relationships are connections - they go two ways. Always. And so the moment in the above story that makes my heart stop every time I read it is this, "like a thief he’d slipped his heart into her pocket so she would take it home with her." He has given his heart to her. And entrusted it to her care.
GiggLeGasm
June Cleaver Wannabe
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that's a lovely story, applicable to so many kinds of relationships. It's just sweetly tender.
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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Very happy to see you here Mal!
You are certainly a Gentleman Dom IMO.
I look forward to you adding your voice.
cb
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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copied from DLG thread...
excerpted for your interest
And in my opinion the above shows cowslinger to be at least one version of a Gentleman Dom.
cb
excerpted for your interest
First of all, I have a sub. She submits to me because she wants to. I would never force it or try to steal it. She is my lover, my partner, my best friend. She is 50 percent of us. I value highly her strength, her intelligence and all that she brings to the table. She values the same things in me and that is a big part of why our bond is so very strong and works so well. We respect each other very highly.
We have the d/s relationship but for us it is not 24/7 as in a master/slave type relationship. I have no desire for that sort of dynamic tho I know people that do and they love it. In this lifestyle there are many levels, and finding the one you and your partner are comfortable with is extremely important. You cannot paint d/s with a broad brush. For the most part we do d/s at events and private play parties...and around the house a bit too. For every day life, we do not and I have no desire to.
I've so many so called doms be nothing more than bullies and misogynists. For some reason they believe themselves to be all bad ass because they were able to find a bobblehead doll with low self esteem to do things for them. I agree ... that a real dom does not need to broadcast it all the time. When I am with my sub, there is no doubt about my role and hers. The misconception is that subs are always weak.. and that isn't always true. IMO, in a true loving d/s relationship both members are strong. One just chooses to let the other lead, and it isn't always the man.
.... How each dom/sub couple handles their business is for them to decide. I recently had to get gruff with a couple of other doms because my sub and I discussed something. I reminded them quickly that everything was under control and it's MY method to talk with her, especially since she is rather new to the lifestyle. This is something I want to do for a long time, not to run her off already.
.... I do a lot for my woman, because I love her.. and she will do anything for me. I've spent a lifetime with takers, and even if we didn't play in the d/s lifestyle, I'd love her for her desire to please me. It feels so amazing to have it returned to me for the very first time....
I had an interaction with a master (male) the other day. It was really cold outside and we were leaving a party very late. Another woman friend was there and I was going out to warm the car up for my woman and I... and the friend asked if I'd start hers.. and I said sure.
As I was leaving, the master said "you have sub for that sort of thing, don't you?"
I said "yes, I have a sub...and I want her to be warm when we get home"
So doing things for your partner, even if they are a sub... does not make you weak, sometimes it makes you really fucking smart... and completely and utterly exhausted by the appreciation such acts bring.
And in my opinion the above shows cowslinger to be at least one version of a Gentleman Dom.
cb
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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A woman contacted me by PM in the last few days to thank me for restarting this thread. I asked her permission to share the following comments on the thread as she prefers to remain anonymous. I'd like to thank her so much for being willing to allow me to post her thoughts.
There is so much literature out there if you look on D/s relationships, but nothing I think compares to hearing actual accounts and opinions of others who are experiencing or have experienced the same as you.
'Gentleman Doms ' has given me a great insight into a dominants head . I actually was discussing this earlier ...that dominants, well the ones I know and have known, sometimes seem to be reluctant to truly open up as they seem to be scared of showing their vulnerable side, which is crazy as after all they are human too.
So here's the thing - Men and women who identify as Dominant or PYL ... please know how important this conversation is. I believe it is important for you to better understand yourselves (no matter how self actualized, contained and stiff upper lip you are) and so that those who are submitting to you now or who might submit to you in the future might have better insight into your half of the equation.
tapping my foot... waiting for the Gentlemen to appear.
(yes... I know my impatience may just earn me a spanking
~ I am willing to risk it....lol)
There is so much literature out there if you look on D/s relationships, but nothing I think compares to hearing actual accounts and opinions of others who are experiencing or have experienced the same as you.
'Gentleman Doms ' has given me a great insight into a dominants head . I actually was discussing this earlier ...that dominants, well the ones I know and have known, sometimes seem to be reluctant to truly open up as they seem to be scared of showing their vulnerable side, which is crazy as after all they are human too.
So here's the thing - Men and women who identify as Dominant or PYL ... please know how important this conversation is. I believe it is important for you to better understand yourselves (no matter how self actualized, contained and stiff upper lip you are) and so that those who are submitting to you now or who might submit to you in the future might have better insight into your half of the equation.
tapping my foot... waiting for the Gentlemen to appear.
(yes... I know my impatience may just earn me a spanking
~ I am willing to risk it....lol)
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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Malich
Avuncular Curmudgeon
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Ok, I'm typing this so I can avoid doing some boring paperwork for a few minutes more. I apologise if its a bit disjointed but my first cup of tea hasn't fully kicked in yet... and it's Monday. Monday's are never good for coherence.
So, where to begin.
Let me start by saying this post isn't about gentleman dominant as such, its more about identifying the better facets that should be present in any relationship regardless of its make up or self applied labels.
I am someone who considers the needs of others above my own needs, sometimes to the detriment of my own mental, physical and financial health. I have been in a relationship where my partner's stated believe was that they thought a person should always consider themselves first and then others. Both are valid view points but it is my considered opinion that the two should never mix in a relationship.
Two "self" types in a relationship can work as they both look after their own needs and then consider using what is left of themselves for their partners. The problem is most submissive types are the "others" type. They give of themselves to ensure their partner has everything they need. If you end up in a relationship with a partner who is a "Self" type then you give, and they take and eventually you reach a point where there is nothing left to give and that can cause issues on both sides of the relationship. The "others" type feels they having nothing left and are worn down, the "Self" type might feel their partner doesn't care as much now because they cannot offer as much as they used to.
As an "others" type myself I feel my partner, even as a sub, is my primary focus in a relationship. Not that she is better than me specifically, or that she is dominant of me, but that my role in a relationship is to make sure she feels cared for, nourished and her needs are met. A sub is a human being, not an endless source of energy I can use to make my life easier. They need to know they are loved and appreciated, they need to be looked after and maintained (and yes, i know that makes them sound a bit like a car... but if you do not look after you care eventually it will breakdown and a person is no different).
To me, the key traits of a gentleman should generally include this empathy to the needs and feelings of their partner.
As a side not however, this does make them open to easy manipulation just as much as any sub can be.
Ok, ramble over, make of that what you will!
Mal
So, where to begin.
Let me start by saying this post isn't about gentleman dominant as such, its more about identifying the better facets that should be present in any relationship regardless of its make up or self applied labels.
I am someone who considers the needs of others above my own needs, sometimes to the detriment of my own mental, physical and financial health. I have been in a relationship where my partner's stated believe was that they thought a person should always consider themselves first and then others. Both are valid view points but it is my considered opinion that the two should never mix in a relationship.
Two "self" types in a relationship can work as they both look after their own needs and then consider using what is left of themselves for their partners. The problem is most submissive types are the "others" type. They give of themselves to ensure their partner has everything they need. If you end up in a relationship with a partner who is a "Self" type then you give, and they take and eventually you reach a point where there is nothing left to give and that can cause issues on both sides of the relationship. The "others" type feels they having nothing left and are worn down, the "Self" type might feel their partner doesn't care as much now because they cannot offer as much as they used to.
As an "others" type myself I feel my partner, even as a sub, is my primary focus in a relationship. Not that she is better than me specifically, or that she is dominant of me, but that my role in a relationship is to make sure she feels cared for, nourished and her needs are met. A sub is a human being, not an endless source of energy I can use to make my life easier. They need to know they are loved and appreciated, they need to be looked after and maintained (and yes, i know that makes them sound a bit like a car... but if you do not look after you care eventually it will breakdown and a person is no different).
To me, the key traits of a gentleman should generally include this empathy to the needs and feelings of their partner.
As a side not however, this does make them open to easy manipulation just as much as any sub can be.
Ok, ramble over, make of that what you will!
Mal
lil_jenni
Super Fellatrix
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I am quite submissive both in and out of the bedroom. My husband was already a gentleman when we met but just a tiny bit dominant. He kinda grew into it as he learned my nature, but it sometimes was not enough for me.
Before we got maried, we were apart for over a year after I did some stupid shit, then I did some really stupid shit while we were broken up that kinda fucked with my mind. When we got back together, he was very protective of me and took control of our relafionship. It was just what I needed.
He is never harsh, and although he can be rough in both love and punishment, he can also be gentle in both while leaving me no doubt I am loved, protected, and willingly under his control. It is so much more natural than what I used to try to get him to do, and I love it.
Before we got maried, we were apart for over a year after I did some stupid shit, then I did some really stupid shit while we were broken up that kinda fucked with my mind. When we got back together, he was very protective of me and took control of our relafionship. It was just what I needed.
He is never harsh, and although he can be rough in both love and punishment, he can also be gentle in both while leaving me no doubt I am loved, protected, and willingly under his control. It is so much more natural than what I used to try to get him to do, and I love it.
lil_jenni
Super Fellatrix
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I forgot to mention that I read through this thread and loved the discussion. I especially liked seeing the posts of my old friend Kveldulf, who does not seem to post anymore and who seems to have left without finishing one of my favorite story series on here.
mickyp123
JBQ's Dragon. Always
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Originally Posted by cowslinger64 View Post
First of all, I have a sub. She submits to me because she wants to. I would never force it or try to steal it. She is my lover, my partner, my best friend. She is 50 percent of us. I value highly her strength, her intelligence and all that she brings to the table. She values the same things in me and that is a big part of why our bond is so very strong and works so well. We respect each other very highly.
We have the d/s relationship but for us it is not 24/7 as in a master/slave type relationship. I have no desire for that sort of dynamic tho I know people that do and they love it. In this lifestyle there are many levels, and finding the one you and your partner are comfortable with is extremely important. You cannot paint d/s with a broad brush. For the most part we do d/s at events and private play parties...and around the house a bit too. For every day life, we do not and I have no desire to.
I've so many so called doms be nothing more than bullies and misogynists. For some reason they believe themselves to be all bad ass because they were able to find a bobblehead doll with low self esteem to do things for them. I agree ... that a real dom does not need to broadcast it all the time. When I am with my sub, there is no doubt about my role and hers. The misconception is that subs are always weak.. and that isn't always true. IMO, in a true loving d/s relationship both members are strong. One just chooses to let the other lead, and it isn't always the man.
.... How each dom/sub couple handles their business is for them to decide. I recently had to get gruff with a couple of other doms because my sub and I discussed something. I reminded them quickly that everything was under control and it's MY method to talk with her, especially since she is rather new to the lifestyle. This is something I want to do for a long time, not to run her off already.
.... I do a lot for my woman, because I love her.. and she will do anything for me. I've spent a lifetime with takers, and even if we didn't play in the d/s lifestyle, I'd love her for her desire to please me. It feels so amazing to have it returned to me for the very first time....
Quote:
Originally Posted by cowslinger64 View Post
I had an interaction with a master (male) the other day. It was really cold outside and we were leaving a party very late. Another woman friend was there and I was going out to warm the car up for my woman and I... and the friend asked if I'd start hers.. and I said sure.
As I was leaving, the master said "you have sub for that sort of thing, don't you?"
I said "yes, I have a sub...and I want her to be warm when we get home"
So doing things for your partner, even if they are a sub... does not make you weak, sometimes it makes you really fucking smart... and completely and utterly exhausted by the appreciation such acts bring.
And in my opinion the above shows cowslinger to be at least one version of a Gentleman Dom.
Also he is very articulate for a Bovine thrower, now he's head will swell and it will take two pints to make him happy
Within about ten minutes you can teach a Parrot to say "On your Knees Bitch" the parrot will be able to deliver the line with both clarity and authority, at the same time
the parrot can also be taught to say "Im a Dom", in both cases though it won't have a clue what it's talking about.
There are a lot of Parrots about.
First of all, I have a sub. She submits to me because she wants to. I would never force it or try to steal it. She is my lover, my partner, my best friend. She is 50 percent of us. I value highly her strength, her intelligence and all that she brings to the table. She values the same things in me and that is a big part of why our bond is so very strong and works so well. We respect each other very highly.
We have the d/s relationship but for us it is not 24/7 as in a master/slave type relationship. I have no desire for that sort of dynamic tho I know people that do and they love it. In this lifestyle there are many levels, and finding the one you and your partner are comfortable with is extremely important. You cannot paint d/s with a broad brush. For the most part we do d/s at events and private play parties...and around the house a bit too. For every day life, we do not and I have no desire to.
I've so many so called doms be nothing more than bullies and misogynists. For some reason they believe themselves to be all bad ass because they were able to find a bobblehead doll with low self esteem to do things for them. I agree ... that a real dom does not need to broadcast it all the time. When I am with my sub, there is no doubt about my role and hers. The misconception is that subs are always weak.. and that isn't always true. IMO, in a true loving d/s relationship both members are strong. One just chooses to let the other lead, and it isn't always the man.
.... How each dom/sub couple handles their business is for them to decide. I recently had to get gruff with a couple of other doms because my sub and I discussed something. I reminded them quickly that everything was under control and it's MY method to talk with her, especially since she is rather new to the lifestyle. This is something I want to do for a long time, not to run her off already.
.... I do a lot for my woman, because I love her.. and she will do anything for me. I've spent a lifetime with takers, and even if we didn't play in the d/s lifestyle, I'd love her for her desire to please me. It feels so amazing to have it returned to me for the very first time....
Quote:
Originally Posted by cowslinger64 View Post
I had an interaction with a master (male) the other day. It was really cold outside and we were leaving a party very late. Another woman friend was there and I was going out to warm the car up for my woman and I... and the friend asked if I'd start hers.. and I said sure.
As I was leaving, the master said "you have sub for that sort of thing, don't you?"
I said "yes, I have a sub...and I want her to be warm when we get home"
So doing things for your partner, even if they are a sub... does not make you weak, sometimes it makes you really fucking smart... and completely and utterly exhausted by the appreciation such acts bring.
And in my opinion the above shows cowslinger to be at least one version of a Gentleman Dom.
Also he is very articulate for a Bovine thrower, now he's head will swell and it will take two pints to make him happy
Within about ten minutes you can teach a Parrot to say "On your Knees Bitch" the parrot will be able to deliver the line with both clarity and authority, at the same time
the parrot can also be taught to say "Im a Dom", in both cases though it won't have a clue what it's talking about.
There are a lot of Parrots about.
Last edited:
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cowslinger64 View Post
I had an interaction with a master (male) the other day.....
Also he is very articulate for a Bovine thrower, now he's head will swell and it will take two pints to make him happy
Within about ten minutes you can teach a Parrot to say "On your Knees Bitch" the parrot will be able to deliver the line with both clarity and authority, at the same time
the parrot can also be taught to say "Im a Dom", in both cases though it won't have a clue what it's talking about.
There are a lot of Parrots about.
Greetings mickyp~
1) I am unsure how your post contributes to the discussion about Gentleman Doms.
2) I am quite sure the cowslinger is seeking neither my nor your approval with his posts, and I reposted the above without checking with him because I have found him to be most interested in helping others in the BDSM lifestyle, sex in general and other things.
3) your characterization of subs as parrots is insulting, and one of the least Gentlemanly comments so far on this thread.
check yourself.
Thank you.
cb
cascadiabound
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Sundayschild
Regulator of funkiness
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I believe mickyp was posting in support of Cowslinger, and saying that the people who claim to be Doms are merely being 'parrots', rather than living up to the high standards the role (and I mean that respectfully) demands. That's my understanding anyway.
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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I believe mickyp was posting in support of Cowslinger, and saying that the people who claim to be Doms are merely being 'parrots', rather than living up to the high standards the role (and I mean that respectfully) demands. That's my understanding anyway.
Ok good.
If I misread mickyp...I apologize deeply.
It's true, there are plenty of fakes about.
IMO cowslinger is not one, and I hear from others that neither is mickyp.
Carry on.
mickyp123
JBQ's Dragon. Always
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I believe mickyp was posting in support of Cowslinger, and saying that the people who claim to be Doms are merely being 'parrots', rather than living up to the high standards the role (and I mean that respectfully) demands. That's my understanding anyway.
TY, SC
cascadiabound
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cowslinger64
Literotica Guru
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You'll have to forgive Mickey, CB.. I spent three years in England and still can't understand a damn thing he says!!!
Great post Mick... you nailed it. I've seen tons of "parrots" and it does nothing at all for me. To have a strong minded, strong willed intelligent woman give you her submission... that is what it's all about for me.. having a bobblehead doll with poor self esteem do so, isn't much of a challenge..
Great post Mick... you nailed it. I've seen tons of "parrots" and it does nothing at all for me. To have a strong minded, strong willed intelligent woman give you her submission... that is what it's all about for me.. having a bobblehead doll with poor self esteem do so, isn't much of a challenge..
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