BuckyDuckman
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2011
- Posts
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From the Department for Mis-Information comes this Redbook article on MSN that promises, "Sexy Shuteye: Decode Your Sex Dreams" and like most woman's magazine advice, I'm still laughing. It amazes me someone was paid to write this kind of unsubstantiated drivel.
First offense, the introduction: "Sexy dreams aren't just for teenage boys." Oh wow, really? What's next? Women can have orgasms, too? So, before my head explodes - here are the 10 most common sex dreams they dissect:
1) Sex with a boss means "you're becoming aware of your own power and ability to to choose what you want in life." My take: Or, you find your boss attractive. Or you have a D/s fantasy. Interesting that by its exclusion, I'm going to assume Redbook doesn't believe a woman could be the boss.
2) Sex with an ex can apparently leave a woman to feel as if she just let her husband down. (Apparently, Redbook readers are all married.) And it means "your mind is telling you to let go of behaviors that no longer serve you and [don't] repeat mistakes." My take: Or, there was a reason you hooked up with that person in the first place and you're reliving a past thrill.
3) Sex with a platonic friend or colleague apparently means they have a talent you'd like to possess. My take: Or, they're hot and you wish you could take it to the next level.
4) Sex with a same-sex partner apparently means "you're becoming more tolerant of different behaviors and beliefs -- such as your boss' political position." My take: Or, you may be in denial about your score on the Kinsey Scale. Not to mention how again a Redbook reader isn't allowed to be a boss.
5) Sex with a celebrity apparently can mean you're "feeling overlooked at work or under appreciated by your husband." My take: Or you think they're hot!
6. Sex with a crush or beloved. First they tell not to worry about having a crush on someone in your dream and feeling guilty when "you wake up next to your husband." Then they suggest they object of your dream has a "deeply attractive quality...you desire to embody yourself." My take: Or, they're hot. It's freakin' crush, you know?
7. Sex with a stranger apparently means there's "some characteristic of your own self that seems strange and unexplored to you." My take: Or, maybe you're bored with your routine and would like some spice in your life?
8. Your partner is unfaithful apparently doesn't signify that they are being unfaithful. It signifies that maybe "you're not feeling your sexiest self." My take: Okay, maybe I need to give them this one. Sounds more plausible than the rest.
9. Sex with a robot or machine Wow, women have these dreams enough for it to make the top 10? Otherwise, their reasoning heads off in a misogynistic fantasy land that I find remarkable: "... common for women....who have young families and are still pursuing a full-time career. '...uggests you are...just going through the motions.' ...[Y]ou aren't acknowledging the imperfect...qualities of your friends and colleagues who are trying to support your creative pursuits." My take Or you're really attracted to Data from Star Trek, the Next Generation.
10. Sex with an alien being or monster Again, women have these dreams enough to make the top 10?! If you do, it apparently "represents a great opportunity to express yourself creatively in waking life." And Redbook is nice enough to offer a bit of shame to those who might have this dream with a final, jokey tag line: "But we totally get why you'd prefer to dream about sleeping with George Clooney rather than E.T." My take You know what? I'm going to give this one to Redbook - what the hell. That gives them 2 out 10.
I read these sorts of articles to gain insight into my readers' expectations. Like the body language b.s. If someone crosses their arms and legs, they don't agree with you. Or... they're cold. If she twirls her hair, she's interested. Or... she has long hair and likes to fidget.
If nothing else, I have a top 10 list of sexy dreams my characters can wrestle with and their "scientific" meanings since the author distilled these from a book by Dr. Ian Wallace, dream psychologist.
First offense, the introduction: "Sexy dreams aren't just for teenage boys." Oh wow, really? What's next? Women can have orgasms, too? So, before my head explodes - here are the 10 most common sex dreams they dissect:
1) Sex with a boss means "you're becoming aware of your own power and ability to to choose what you want in life." My take: Or, you find your boss attractive. Or you have a D/s fantasy. Interesting that by its exclusion, I'm going to assume Redbook doesn't believe a woman could be the boss.
2) Sex with an ex can apparently leave a woman to feel as if she just let her husband down. (Apparently, Redbook readers are all married.) And it means "your mind is telling you to let go of behaviors that no longer serve you and [don't] repeat mistakes." My take: Or, there was a reason you hooked up with that person in the first place and you're reliving a past thrill.
3) Sex with a platonic friend or colleague apparently means they have a talent you'd like to possess. My take: Or, they're hot and you wish you could take it to the next level.
4) Sex with a same-sex partner apparently means "you're becoming more tolerant of different behaviors and beliefs -- such as your boss' political position." My take: Or, you may be in denial about your score on the Kinsey Scale. Not to mention how again a Redbook reader isn't allowed to be a boss.
5) Sex with a celebrity apparently can mean you're "feeling overlooked at work or under appreciated by your husband." My take: Or you think they're hot!
6. Sex with a crush or beloved. First they tell not to worry about having a crush on someone in your dream and feeling guilty when "you wake up next to your husband." Then they suggest they object of your dream has a "deeply attractive quality...you desire to embody yourself." My take: Or, they're hot. It's freakin' crush, you know?
7. Sex with a stranger apparently means there's "some characteristic of your own self that seems strange and unexplored to you." My take: Or, maybe you're bored with your routine and would like some spice in your life?
8. Your partner is unfaithful apparently doesn't signify that they are being unfaithful. It signifies that maybe "you're not feeling your sexiest self." My take: Okay, maybe I need to give them this one. Sounds more plausible than the rest.
9. Sex with a robot or machine Wow, women have these dreams enough for it to make the top 10? Otherwise, their reasoning heads off in a misogynistic fantasy land that I find remarkable: "... common for women....who have young families and are still pursuing a full-time career. '...
10. Sex with an alien being or monster Again, women have these dreams enough to make the top 10?! If you do, it apparently "represents a great opportunity to express yourself creatively in waking life." And Redbook is nice enough to offer a bit of shame to those who might have this dream with a final, jokey tag line: "But we totally get why you'd prefer to dream about sleeping with George Clooney rather than E.T." My take You know what? I'm going to give this one to Redbook - what the hell. That gives them 2 out 10.
I read these sorts of articles to gain insight into my readers' expectations. Like the body language b.s. If someone crosses their arms and legs, they don't agree with you. Or... they're cold. If she twirls her hair, she's interested. Or... she has long hair and likes to fidget.
If nothing else, I have a top 10 list of sexy dreams my characters can wrestle with and their "scientific" meanings since the author distilled these from a book by Dr. Ian Wallace, dream psychologist.
