Reclaiming Words

[Etoile]

Queer. Fag. Dyke. Gay.

These words have all been used negatively to hurt gays and lesbians. They are also all used by gays and lesbians in a positive way - they're being reclaimed.

My mother would have an absolute fit if she knew my friends and I use the term "gay" frequently - even as in "oh, that's so gay!" She'd be even more horrified if she knew I've said "my parents are gay" on occasion. My mother is only aware of the negative use, though, the one used by middle schoolers to hurt each other or even just complain about a homework assignment. When I use the word, it's a term of affection, and doesn't mean I don't get pissed off when it's used negatively.

Is it safe to reclaim these words if they're still being used negatively? Does it make a difference?

 

[Ms_Lilith]

Queer. Fag. Dyke. Gay.

These words have all been used negatively to hurt gays and lesbians. They are also all used by gays and lesbians in a positive way - they're being reclaimed.

My mother would have an absolute fit if she knew my friends and I use the term "gay" frequently - even as in "oh, that's so gay!" She'd be even more horrified if she knew I've said "my parents are gay" on occasion. My mother is only aware of the negative use, though, the one used by middle schoolers to hurt each other or even just complain about a homework assignment. When I use the word, it's a term of affection, and doesn't mean I don't get pissed off when it's used negatively.

Is it safe to reclaim these words if they're still being used negatively? Does it make a difference?

I think this thread relates directly to my "General DIsclaimer" thread... and I'm glad to see it addressed on it's own terms in it's own thread.

Thanks, Etoile.

 

[MaddyBaby]

I totally think that it's okay for them to be used positively.

Why can't we? I can call myself a dyke or a queer if I want to!

Besides... even if I get called a dyke by somebody in a negetive way..... I still laugh at them and at it.

 

[MzChrista]

I call myself a dyke all the time.
Im not so hot on "thats so gay" though. That seems to me like going along with the idea that gay is bad.

 

[MaddyBaby]

Yeah... I can see your point, Christa. Completely understandable.

 

[MzChrista]

Yeah... I can see your point, Christa. Completely understandable.

Hi Maddy you hot little dyke.

 

[MaddyBaby]

Oooo... if you keep talking to me like that, Christa.... I might have to show you just how hot it can get....

 

[zipman]

Queer. Fag. Dyke. Gay.

These words have all been used negatively to hurt gays and lesbians. They are also all used by gays and lesbians in a positive way - they're being reclaimed.

My mother would have an absolute fit if she knew my friends and I use the term "gay" frequently - even as in "oh, that's so gay!" She'd be even more horrified if she knew I've said "my parents are gay" on occasion. My mother is only aware of the negative use, though, the one used by middle schoolers to hurt each other or even just complain about a homework assignment. When I use the word, it's a term of affection, and doesn't mean I don't get pissed off when it's used negatively.

Is it safe to reclaim these words if they're still being used negatively? Does it make a difference?

From a linguistic perspective, I think the "reclaiming of words" is a fallacy that does more harm than good in the long run.

The problem with the "reclaiming of words" is that they are legitimized to some extent by using them as friendly, joking terms inside the gay community. Instead of always being negative, now it can be either negative or positive depending on the context of the situation. In the long run, I think it prolongs their use as insults.

Of course this may not be as important as the feeling of empowerment that "reclaiming of these words" has for members of the community.

 

[Netzach]

?

D'you ever call your submissive partner, past or present, a slut? Should she deck you for it?

Context is a lot of communication.

The tribe gets to rib one another gently (whatever that might be) Those not in it don't get the same latitude with words and phrases.

I think this is pretty common behavior, I've never figured out why so much controversy.

 

[Netzach]

Cheese in a can, definitely always wrong.

And I'm with Christa on the "that's so gay" thing. I would only use this phrase to intimate how fabulous something might be!

 

[SweetCherry]

I agree. Context is everything. While I love it when my girl calls me her little slut, I'd rip the throat out of someone off the street or someone I don't like calling me the same. I thikn a lot of it has to do with the feelings behind the word. I would think someone joking around and calling someone a fag/dyke/what-have-you is a lot less harmful than it being sneered with venom and hatred.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I had mentioned something about the negative connotations on Vixenshe's thread...but i feel like i have to say somethng here as well. Though i would not, could not use those words to refer to anyone in an alternative lifestyle...it does not stop me from accepting those of us who use those words on a daily basis. I guess for me..(just like with the word NIGGER) using a hurtful word amongst yourselves does not make the word less hurtful. I agree that the context is important in how it's used but i still would not feel right in saying any of those words (besides GAY) to anyone.

that is just how i was raised i suppose...

shelly

 

[lakritze]

Seems to me......

It seems to me that the word GAY was a positive word before it was co-oped and used by some in a negative mannor.I would have to agree that most negative words are quite difficult to find a positive use for.You could still end up confusing or hurting someone who may take the meaning wrong.Has anybody ever tried to make a positive use of the word fornicate?It just seems like a word that sexophobes would use.

 

[Pookie]

Words are words. It's the intent and thoughts behind the words that count. There are no bad words.

 

[Etoile]

Re: Seems to me......

It seems to me that the word GAY was a positive word before it was co-oped and used by some in a negative mannor.I would have to agree that most negative words are quite difficult to find a positive use for.You could still end up confusing or hurting someone who may take the meaning wrong.Has anybody ever tried to make a positive use of the word fornicate?It just seems like a word that sexophobes would use.

The difference here is that while "gay" was used positively before, it had a totally different meaning. It meant "happy" whereas the negative use means "homosexual."

 

[sexy-girl]

im happy with just gay ... i guess i've never felt a need to use more words than that because i don't want people to look to deep into my sexuality

being gay means i like girls and thats it ... it doesn't tell you anything else about my personality and im happy with that

 

[MzChrista]

Oooo... if you keep talking to me like that, Christa.... I might have to show you just how hot it can get....

Slut.

 

[MzChrista]

Re: Re: Reclaiming Words

From a linguistic perspective, I think the "reclaiming of words" is a fallacy that does more harm than good in the long run.

The problem with the "reclaiming of words" is that they are legitimized to some extent by using them as friendly, joking terms inside the gay community. Instead of always being negative, now it can be either negative or positive depending on the context of the situation. In the long run, I think it prolongs their use as insults.

Of course this may not be as important as the feeling of empowerment that "reclaiming of these words" has for members of the community.

Well if it prolongs people using them as insults but it makes them not hurt so much when they are used as insults, isnt that still a good thing?

 

[MzChrista]

im happy with just gay ... i guess i've never felt a need to use more words than that because i don't want people to look to deep into my sexuality

being gay means i like girls and thats it ... it doesn't tell you anything else about my personality and im happy with that

Word is Lisa is pretty happy with it too.

 

[MaddyBaby]

Slut.

You know. It's funny, really... I think MzChrista's one of the only ones who could call me a slut... and I wouldn't care.

 

[James G 5]

Re: Re: Seems to me......

The difference here is that while "gay" was used positively before, it had a totally different meaning. It meant "happy" whereas the negative use means "homosexual."

My father likes to complain about the use of the word "gay" for referencing homosexuality
His complaint is that it's a perfectly legit word for "happy" that can no longer be used that due to the connotations it's taken on
Most young people today hearing "Gay Paree" in reference to Paris would think it was some sort of joke
And my ex's son (age 6 at the time) was watching The Flintstones one day and asked if one of them was gay because of the theme song
Dad wants it reclaimed from the gay population LOL

 

[waverlysgirl]

THIS THREAD IS SO GAY!