Reality vs June Cleaver

[Imi]

I remember taking a women's history class in college. During the industrial revolution, women who worked at home actually doubled the paycheck of their spouse with their activities. They were also the ones to sacrifice the most in terms of material possessions and often lived on bread and tea for days. Oh, and there wasn't any birth control, so they did this while constantly gestating or breastfeeding.

I know what my mom did as a stay at home. On the days that I was off, I'd run errands with her and we'd be going from morning to night. When she said she spent the day in the car, she wasn't kidding. And for the 3 months she went to work one year at H&R Block, I hated it. I was never so happy to have her back. Really put things in perspective for me as a kid.

I have the utmost respect for stay at home moms. I think it's a real gift that you give to your kids, that they may never realize. You don't get that second income, so how do you stretch it? That's mom's job usually in more ways than one. But we're seeing more and more couples making just that choice. So I think societaly we are putting more value in it. I hope.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

It must be very difficult to be a single parent. The double duty of having to earn enough income to house and feed your family and to take care of their other (considerable) needs also is very demanding. My praise to those who do so much for their kids.

I stray from the subject though. June Cleaver was fiction. Many parents, mothers and fathers work tirelessly keeping the family afloat, careers moving and kids learning (and entertained sometimes). We've heard from many parents in posts above who are tireless workers.

In the ranks of both men and women there are lazy people though, we probably haven't heard from them in this thread, but they're out there somewhere. People who aren't working that spend their days keeping up with the latest intrigues in the string of afternoon soaps, who are glued to the TV hanging on every word Oprah utters (she's still on isn't she?) instead of trying to do something, anything, that makes the lives of their families or themselves (if they don't have families) better. They're out there, the soaps have good ratings. Single parents certainly don't have the luxury of time to spend watching soaps though.

These people don't fit into the June Cleaver mold either though.

 

[LovetoGiveRoses]

Imi.

 

[Imi]

Imi.

*blush*

 

[SaucyWench]

LOL

My mom bought that book when her and my dad started having problems. Applied every principle for 2 months. He was thrilled, she wanted to stick a knife in him. Sound familiar?

My question is...why, on my days off, I have to clean the house, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, plan the week's menu, do those little around the house repairs...but on HIS day off, he sits on his ass and does nothing that requires more energy than tapping keys on his keyboard? Yesterday, HIS day off, I asked him to fold one little measly load of clothes, just one, a small load...and guess who had to do it when she got home from work? Asked what he did all day "Sat on my ass." ARRGGHHH!! I'm going on strike. I will sit on MY ass all day on my day off.

Wanna share that knife hon?

 

[Calamity Jane]

I'm going on strike. I will sit on MY ass all day on my day off.

Wanna share that knife hon?

No you won't. Mom's don't get that option. It's not like you can turn the kids off.

 

[tyme]

wow that would be nice just to turn them off for a few hours, or even a mute button.

 

[SaucyWench]

No you won't. Mom's don't get that option. It's not like you can turn the kids off.

HE turns the kids off. He just ignores them all day, then when I get home, I get the wonderful task of cleaning up the mess they've made, trying to get black marker off my couch, crayon off my windows, chocolate out of the carpet and cookie out of the fish tank. If I did that, I'd get yelled at for not keeping an eye on the kids well enough.

I'm running away. I'm going to live in a cave and let all my leg and armpit hair grow long and eat snails for breakfast.

 

[Calamity Jane]

HE turns the kids off. He just ignores them all day, then when I get home, I get the wonderful task of cleaning up the mess they've made, trying to get black marker off my couch, crayon off my windows, chocolate out of the carpet and cookie out of the fish tank. If I did that, I'd get yelled at for not keeping an eye on the kids well enough.

I'm running away. I'm going to live in a cave and let all my leg and armpit hair grow long and eat snails for breakfast.

I wanted to join you til you had to mention all that extraneous body hair. You know how I feel about that.

You need to adopt my cleaning regimen... do laundry after the kids go to bed, so it stays clean and folded for 8 hours... forget washing the walls, just repaint them once a month, throw away all the toys that are small enough to hurt when you step on them.

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'm running away. I'm going to live in a cave and let all my leg and armpit hair grow long and eat snails for breakfast.

Can I come with you?

 

[SaucyWench]

I wanted to join you til you had to mention all that extraneous body hair. You know how I feel about that.

You need to adopt my cleaning regimen... do laundry after the kids go to bed, so it stays clean and folded for 8 hours... forget washing the walls, just repaint them once a month, throw away all the toys that are small enough to hurt when you step on them.

Hehe! Well, you can shave all that extraneous hair...I won't make you look at mine, but I'm gonna braid the armpit hair and put little beads in it and dance naked under the pale moonlight. I already went through a throw away the toys rampage. They are back down to a manageable level now. I do do laundry after they go to bed...I swear those kids wear five new outfits every day.

 

[SaucyWench]

Can I come with you?

The more the merrier! You bring the beads, okay?

 

[Rubyfruit]

I'll bring the beads, SW, and I'll leave the Barbie shoes at home.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

No you won't. Mom's don't get that option. It's not like you can turn the kids off.

Benedryl.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I've been a breadwinner and house 'wife' at the same time...I respect anybody who can do it. I remember coming home after a 12 hour shift with groceries from WalMart, cleaning up after the fiance and her kid, getting 3 hours of sleep before her kid woke up screaming in the night, getting him back to sleep, then getting up a few hours later to make lunch, do laundry, run errands. Then, back to the apartment to make dinner, then off to work again.

 

[Killswitch]

See what you dont understand about that kind of relationship Pagan....is that June ran the show....SHE had the power.

Women are like the Fred Mertz's of the family.

Mertz was a sidekick on the Lucy Show.....but he MADE the show.

The Ward Cleavers of the world do not exist without the June Cleavers. They are meaningless spectres.....wandering wraiths until they meat a June Cleaver.

Dont be fooled.....June was the boss.

 

[Temptress_1960]

... If I did that, I'd get yelled at for not keeping an eye on the kids well enough.

OK, I had to reply to this one.

Who the fuck ever gave him the authority to yell at you for not keeping an eye on the kids well enough? I'm hoping that was just a figure of speech.

If hubby yelled at me for what he felt were parental short-comings as you describe, he'd be taking care of those kids alone until he apologized, and he might just have my foot up his ass at the same time.

Who crowned him King of All Child Rearing?? Good lord.

 

[SaucyWench]

OK, I had to reply to this one.

Who the fuck ever gave him the authority to yell at you for not keeping an eye on the kids well enough? I'm hoping that was just a figure of speech.

If hubby yelled at me for what he felt were parental short-comings as you describe, he'd be taking care of those kids alone until he apologized, and he might just have my foot up his ass at the same time.

Who crowned him King of All Child Rearing?? Good lord.

When the kids get into something (which, at 2 years old, she does FAST!) I get yelled at for not keeping a good enough eye on her. He seems to think I need to follow her every footstep and basically be RIGHT there ALL the time. The exact words usually are "Jesus Christ! Why the hell weren't you watching her?" Of course, he's sitting in the same room with me as the young one wanders about.

 

[SaucyWench]

I'll bring the beads, SW, and I'll leave the Barbie shoes at home.

Whew! Good idea. Perhaps I should nix the tutu's as well.

 

[Temptress_1960]

When the kids get into something (which, at 2 years old, she does FAST!) I get yelled at for not keeping a good enough eye on her. He seems to think I need to follow her every footstep and basically be RIGHT there ALL the time. The exact words usually are "Jesus Christ! Why the hell weren't you watching her?" Of course, he's sitting in the same room with me as the young one wanders about.

I sincerely hope you ask him why HE wasn't watching her, especially if he's sitting in the same room as you are.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Benedryl.

LOL

I thought that was my secret. That, and Fairy Tea... right Saucy?

I think that I'm going to start an all women's commune... all except for the beautiful gay men that will watch the kids and decorate the house.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I sincerely hope you ask him why HE wasn't watching her, especially if he's sitting in the same room as you are.

Sometimes... most of the time... it's just easier to get up, deal with the kid, clean up the mess and move on than it is to do all of that and a lecture on why he isn't responsible for the kids while you're home.

 

[SaucyWench]

I sincerely hope you ask him why HE wasn't watching her, especially if he's sitting in the same room as you are.

Well, because I'm the mom, and he has more important things to do, like sit on his ass on the computer, than keep an eye on the kiddos. I don't think he's able to multitask...and that would require a bit of multitasking.

 

[Rubyfruit]

Sometimes... most of the time... it's just easier to get up, deal with the kid, clean up the mess and move on than it is to do all of that and a lecture on why he isn't responsible for the kids while you're home.

Exactly, especially when it falls on deaf ears anyway.

Why bother?

 

[Temptress_1960]

Has anyone ever showed him the definition of being a dad?