Reader's Comments - What Gives?

[SexyChele]

Okay, my latest story just posted last night. It's about anal sex and is posted to the anal sex category. It is also about "stranger" sex. One reader has already wrote to me, making a comment that the female character will have a sore ass and AIDs. Now, I could possibly understand this person's aversion to the idea of strangers not using condoms. However, I am in the middle of running a survey on what people like to read, and overwhelmingly, people have stated they do not want to read about safe sex in stories that are fantasies. But wher did the "sore ass" comment come from? I mean, when this person opened up an anal sex story, did they not comprehend what "anal" means? If one is offended by a certain topic, for heaven's sake why open the story (and read it!) if it so offends one?

I had the same exact thing happen with the Gay Male story I wrote. I mean, hello? "Gay Male" - what does one think is going to happen? Yet, I get told that men shouldn't be fucking each other.

Sometimes I just don't get where readers are coming. Oh well...

Sorry for the rant - had to get it out of my system somewhere!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Some people only read stories they don't like, because they don't get excited by the sex, but on getting angry. They love to bitch and whine.

There are some sick people out there. Don't let them get to you.

 

[BigTexan]

My only advice, Chele, is to smile a soft smile of understanding as you read those feedbacks. All the while realizing that you are reading the only writing that particular idiot is capable of producing.

There is nothing you can do to keep the functionally non-sentient from attempting to express themselves so just ignore them and go on.

BigTexan

 

[SexyChele]

Thanks, both of you! I would think that with all the great choices to be had at Lit, one would concentrate their time on reading something that they would be interested in, but then, who am I?

Anyway, thanks for reading my "rant" and giving support!

 

[MaxSebastian]

I think the AIDS point is interesting: sometimes when I write a story involving characters that don't know each other well, I wonder if I should be taking care to be "responsible" in that whole safe sex area.

I'm writing a group story right now, and I'm thinking... in real life, you'd be seriously worried about that kind of thing.

But then I think: this isn't real life. In fact, it's clearly supposed to portray real life, and readers know that. Putting in heavy messages about safe sex all the time would kill the flippant enjoyment of these stories, and let's face it, readers here are all supposed ot be over 18, and must be mature enough to realise these stories aren't saying that you don't need to use a condom in real life.

They're fantasies, dammit!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

It's called survival of the fittest. Those of us who are clever enough to use a condom, will survive. Those who are too stupid to protect themselves, will get STD's and die. And then the world will be ours.

 

[wildsweetone]

SexyChele,

I've just read your story 'Anal Revenge'. I kept my editor hat off and simply sat back to read. It was a story worth reading too, thank you

Now, I have a feeling that your 'nasty' feedbacker was having a bad day. As far as I could tell there was no pain in the story, no real rough stuff. So frankly, I don't see there was anything within your story itself to set the person off on an odd tangent.

Yes sometimes anal sex can be painful, and yes AIDS is a fact of life now, but really, neither comment is useful to you as an author like that.

Now, as the devil's advocate here I'd suggest that you see if you can really look at what's been said and gain something from it. Perhaps there's a story in what was said, perhaps there's an idea in the comments.

Anyway, know that this particular story is not indicative of painful anal sex at least not in my opinion.

wso

 

[Svenskaflicka]

This just occured to me...

One reader has already wrote to me, making a comment that the female character will have a sore ass and AIDs.

*Snip*

I had the same exact thing happen with the Gay Male story I wrote. I mean, hello? "Gay Male" - what does one think is going to happen? Yet, I get told that men shouldn't be fucking each other.

The readers who wrote to you didn't mention anything about God's punishment, did they?

 

[BigTexan]

It's called survival of the fittest. Those of us who are clever enough to use a condom, will survive. Those who are too stupid to protect themselves, will get STD's and die. And then the world will be ours.

Um, Svenskaflicka, I don't want to throw a wet blanket over your party and I'm not going to try to be you guidance counsellor, but you might want to re-read some of the factual information about condoms and not just believe the "safe sex" hype.

The truth is that at least one medical study showed that one out of every five people who contracted AIDS from sexual conduct were in fact using condoms when they became infected.

However AIDS is much more than an STD. Most of the people, and I don't have the figure in front of me but it's pretty high and very scary, who contract AIDS do not get it from sexual conduct. It is also passed by using contaminated needles, blood transfusions and casual contact (defined as non-sexual contact where bodily fluids are encountered and including nurse/doctor to patient care and patient to nurse/doctor).

So, while I applaud your motives, remember that condoms are much more effective as a birth control device than they are at AIDS prevention. And they are less than 100% at birth control. (Damn those little nicks and tears)

BigTexan

 

[hiddenself]

You gotta love democracy...

Sometimes I just don't get where readers are coming. Oh well...

You don't like this kind of feedback... I understand. But think that such people may be voting out there in the real world, actually having a say in our lives. Scared yet? Oh, and it would not surprise me if the group does include some of the eminent Lit authors who appear on these boards... Call me jaded.
hs

 

[SexyChele]

Once again, I have to thank all who participated!

wildsweetone, I respect your opinion highly - thank you. And no need to keep the editor hat off. I'm a big girl, I can take it!

I had been thinking of this story for quite some time, and one of the aspects that I considered strongly was: how would people feel about two characters not knowing each other and engaging in what has become termed as "unsafe" sex. I knew I would write the story as it was in my mind, but I put the question of "stranger" sex on my survey. I offered several answers to the question (respondents could only chose one answer), but the majority of people simply chose that "I like the concept." Out of the 25 people that responded this morning, 5 chose: "I would read it, but leave out all that condom stuff. This is fantasy, you know." Only 1 person selected: "I could get into it if safe sex was involved." (maybe that was my one reader?)

I think most people understand that, if two strangers are going to engage in physical intimacy (not just incourse, remember), precautions and thinking must take place. However, here most people come to escape, live out fantasies that they may or may not be able to do in real life.

So far, in my very unscientific survey, readers seem to be agreeing with me.

 

[pop_54]

Hi

Some people have one hell of a job sorting out reality and fantasy, some people are natural born complainers, some people are thick as shit, most who frequent porno story boards just to read wild sex stories and then moan about the content have little brain power to do anything more constructive.

Don't worry about it just keep on writing and posting as long as you are happy with your production, f**k the moaners, constructve critisism is good, one line moans are to be ignored.


pops............

 

[jon.hayworth]

Coincidentally I posted an Anal sex story last week. "Loving the Butt Man". Lo and behold I received 2 anonymous feedback posts. One informed me "You sure know a lot about assholes." The other said "No woman would act like your character."

I do not think either writer was that impressed, but they are entitled to their opinions - the voting looks better than the feedback.

I have to admit I was experimenting with these two stories: both were short by my standards (under 1500 words); and I told the story in the first person - something that I have not done for a long while.

As for the Safe Sex aspect - I made no concessions, I am writing fiction - that means the story is a fantasy and should not be regarded as a sex manual.

jon

 

[KillerMuffin]

One thing that we should remember when we get feedback from readers is that we have a huge international audience. There are a lot of people in India who read and write stories at Lit.

Now, we all pretty much live in nice, safe, comfy industrialized nations where AIDS is really just a nuisance to most of the population. People who live in India and sub-saharan Africa (there are quite a few South African readers here) have a much larger problem with AIDS. To them, it's more than just an epidemic, it's an in-your-face health issue where everyone pretty much personally knows someone who either has AIDS or has died from AIDS.

To them, our casual ways of portraying sex is terrifying and dangerous.

 

[Pure]

Hi SC,

While I think your critic was unfairly singling you out, it's not a totally irrelevant question, safe sex. A number of writers put a 'safe sex' disclaimer at the beginning. "This isn't safe; in real life, use condoms; protect yourself." I also noticed that P. Califia in his sex stories has inserted safe sex; it really needn't be obtrusive or anti-erotic. He's pretty famous for hot stories, but I guess is an activist for the health of the community.

The 'this is fantasy' defense, I do not find overwhelming. Every sex story has a degree of reality, as does fiction in general. There's a sort of agreement with the reader to suspend disbelief, but also that there's a measure of reality--perhaps the 'fairy tale' or cartoon being an exception (where people recover from falling off cliffs, being run over, etc.).

There is the problem of 'genre'. And, without going on about it, writing to a formula (formulaic porn) is what detracts from the quality outside of genre--i.e., so called 'literary merit' in the plain and simple, general sense. (In simple terms, how often do you feel like re-reading a piece of formulaic porn? Isn't that why there has to be a 'next issue' of Penthouse stories?) Or, to put it differently, the true 'erotica' stories, which actually have a little merit as stories, will often have more realistic elements, e.g., pregnancies. In fact iirc, some Henry Miller stories have vd/std.

I just want to give some thoughts, on a non-simple subject; to get them off my chest. I don't single you out, and I generally like the quality of your writing. I myself have not gone past the disclaimer, so I can't preach to you or anyone about including safe sex.

Best,
J.

PS. I would like the Texan to cite/quote any good study showing a condom failure rate for AIDS of 20%. I don't see why the rate of preventing pregnancies --above 90%--would not transfer to AIDs, provided, as he says, the other routes are not present. I am talking of consistent condom use, not some spaced out junky who doesn't quite manage to get it on properly. Usually when you hear of 'condom failure' you hear a statement like "we use condoms." Upon questioning, though, you further hear, "Well, not that time, we were drunk." This is my experience as a b.c. counselor and long time user.

 

[kiwiwolf]

Chele I just read your story and loved it. Being brand new to the posted story experience I have only had one feedback email so I can't claim to know how negative feedback can feel. The comments on a "sore ass" and AIDS are not only peurile but irrational.

In your story you specifically state that Traci felt surprised at the LACK of pain. The AIDS issue wasn't covered but then this was a story not a public service announcement on the advisability of safe sex.

Your story was excellent and I voted accordingly. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you again for the help you gave me a few months back with my stories. You and Muffin lit a fire under my ass and I now have the writing bug in a big way. Many thanks fair lady.

 

[Just_John1]

Just latched onto this thread...

Sorry sometimes I'm slow.

I've gotten comments both ways. I've been yelled at for writing safe sex and yelled at for not writing safe sex. I struggle to think that people are concerned that one of my stories would actually affect a persons' decisions on whether to have anonymous sex or safe sex. I assume (because the minimum age is 18) that all that read the stories are grown adults, that understand the risks. But I definitely agree that the responses I sometimes get are out there, conflicting and confusing.

The bottom line is that I write because its fun. I don't expect everyone to always "get it" and you can't let the malcontents get to you. Write because its fun, take the complimentary comments with a grain of salt as well as the bitching, moaning or complaining comments. If you get a trend of comments you might be able to learn from it. If they're single outliers then, well, chalk it up to the diversity of life.

Chele, I like your writing, have enjoyed your stories, absolutely love your AV. PLease keep at it.

JJ1

 

[BigTexan]

PS. I would like the Texan to cite/quote any good study showing a condom failure rate for AIDS of 20%. I don't see why the rate of preventing pregnancies --above 90%--would not transfer to AIDs, provided, as he says, the other routes are not present. I am talking of consistent condom use, not some spaced out junky who doesn't quite manage to get it on properly. Usually when you hear of 'condom failure' you hear a statement like "we use condoms." Upon questioning, though, you further hear, "Well, not that time, we were drunk." This is my experience as a b.c. counselor and long time user.

Rather than hijack this thread for this, I'm going to start a new thread. I'm sure it will quickly die. At least I hope it will.

BigTexan

 

[sirhugs]

back to the point on feedback being weird

my very first story was a " Loving Wives" fantasy of a man turned on watching his wife with two studs. It was entirely supportive of her pleasure.

Still, I got feedback asking for a sequel in which " the slut mbitch gets hers".

Oh well, some readers just don't get it. But hopefully, they enjoy the experience anyhow, in their own way.

I enjoy the thoughtful feedbacks, trash the others.

I'd lover to say doing otherwise would drive me insane, but sanity is a shifting target anyhow.

 

[SexyChele]

Some good insights and advice given here, and it is appreciated!

Muffin - your words are, as always, a steady rock to bring us back to reality.

Pure, thank you. And you've given me an idea that I will try in an upcoming story - just to see how well it might go over!

Kiwiwolf! You have to be one of the sweetest men at Lit! Thank you for your compliments - they mean a great deal! And what is this? You've posted a story, and I hadn't known about it? Well, I will just have to check this out for myself!

 

[bridgeburner]

Chele,

Some folks get off on being offended. It's their fetish. Shrug it off safe in the knowledge that most of them will die of hypertension and apoplexy years before your libido gives out.


Wonder if they're writing complaints about the lack of realism in all the stories with 14 inch cocks as big around as baseball bats?


--B

 

[wildsweetone]

A thought just occured to me. It bugged me that you received this 'sore ass and AIDs' comment so I went to look at your story again Chele.

What if the feedbacker simply read the title and commented without reading the story? I reckon this is what happened.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Once again, I have to thank all who participated!

...said the woman baptizing her new-born...

 

[pop_54]

Hmm

Trust you to make such comment svenska, I don't really know you but you seem a very alert and light hearted person, with a wicked sense of humour, I like that in a person.

By the way did you hear about the guy who's wife had twins, he went looking for the other man.

pops..........

 

[SexyChele]

A thought just occured to me. It bugged me that you received this 'sore ass and AIDs' comment so I went to look at your story again Chele.

What if the feedbacker simply read the title and commented without reading the story? I reckon this is what happened.

This could be true, yes. But, unless one read through the story, they would not have known that there wasn't any precautions taken between the two "strangers". As well, I think the "sore ass" comment came from a line within the story itself, where the main character knows she will be sore the next day. (Though, I never state in exactly what way she will be "sore" - this is her first anal experience, she wouldn't have any idea what the next day will bring as far as that is concerned.) Doesn't truly matter, however, the vast majority of comments have been very positive.

...said the woman baptizing her new-born...

I agree with Pop_54 - not quite sure how to take this remark, or what was meant by it. I know I haven't posted on this forum in quite some time, as my previous story wasn't published since June of last year. However, if the comment was to imply that I posted here in an effort to get people to read what I've written, well, there really was no need. I had over 2,000 views by the time I posted this thread.

However, I will simply take this as a difference in cultures, and leave it at that. I would prefer to look at things in a positive light.