Rated PG - Parental Guidance

[lacandy]

As everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) knows...I'm a mom. I talk about my kids ---the good and the bad here often, because that is my life at the moment. And I've gotten so much great feedback, advice, encouragement, and commiserating from the amazing people on LIT.

I know that there are a lot of us here who are parents (or even aunts and uncles or godparents), so I wanted to make a place for people to come and get advice, brag, vent, about their parenting adventures...

They say it takes a village...I say that it takes an entire forum

Anything you want to say about parenting...memes, quotes, advice, venting, bragging - this is a place to do it. And not to exclude those who don't have human kids feel free to tell us about your furry babies or even remind us how crazy we are for even getting on this path! Anything parenting!

This is how I feel daily...even almost 15 years in!!

http://www.ldssmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/36-funniest-and-hilarious-parenting-memes-19.jpg

 

[Bjerget]

Great idea for a thread! And if anyone has good advice for how to properly raise a toddler to stop being a monster and start being a nice little child, please let me hear it!

 

[Leigh81]

I enjoy reading about your adventures with your kids. I can't have children, which is ok. I do have 2 wonderful nephew's (20, 14) who I'm very proud of
My child is my dobie girl who turns 1 in 2 1/2 weeks.

L

 

[lacandy]

I enjoy reading about your adventures with your kids. I can't have children, which is ok. I do have 2 wonderful nephew's (20, 14) who I'm very proud of
My child is my dobie girl who turns 1 in 2 1/2 weeks.

L

Thanks Leigh - trust me...I went through a lot to get my two, so I completely understand. That's why I wanted to include everyone...furry babies are still babies

 

[lacandy]

Great idea for a thread! And if anyone has good advice for how to properly raise a toddler to stop being a monster and start being a nice little child, please let me hear it!

Oh, were there a magic rule for this one...

My one piece of advice is to be consistent and have a schedule. Other than that? Wine??

http://img.reblog.hu/blogs/24628/96a867d65f7ebb95ad9bf4daed6fc3dcc762.jpg?w=640

 

[Bjerget]

Oh, were there a magic rule for this one...

My one piece of advice is to be consistent and have a schedule. Other than that? Wine??

http://img.reblog.hu/blogs/24628/96a867d65f7ebb95ad9bf4daed6fc3dcc762.jpg?w=640

Yeah we do the whole routine thing as much as possible, but sometimes one of us has more time than the other, so it gets ruined. Blah.

Wine sounds good right about now.

 

[lacandy]

Yeah we do the whole routine thing as much as possible, but sometimes one of us has more time than the other, so it gets ruined. Blah.

Wine sounds good right about now.

I don't think that routine means it needs to be rigid...some days things happen and kids still need to learn to deal with that. But as much as you can I think is good - makes them feel secure.

When my kids were toddlers we had a fairly normal routine about lunch and nap and dinner and bed time...but that didn't mean that if we were out at the park having fun and it was 1:00 I had to rush home and put them down for a nap...we stayed and played - adaptation is important too.

https://img1.etsystatic.com/133/1/12563544/il_340x270.1100847905_orsl.jpg

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

Finally! A thread I can actually contribute to!

Here's my first contribution for new parents:

Always remember, there's nothing your child can do about the gene pool he/she came from. That tidbit has worked well for me....

 

[AbsintheFather]

As everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) knows...I'm a mom. I talk about my kids ---the good and the bad here often, because that is my life at the moment. And I've gotten so much great feedback, advice, encouragement, and commiserating from the amazing people on LIT.

I know that there are a lot of us here who are parents (or even aunts and uncles or godparents), so I wanted to make a place for people to come and get advice, brag, vent, about their parenting adventures...

They say it takes a village...I say that it takes an entire forum

Anything you want to say about parenting...memes, quotes, advice, venting, bragging - this is a place to do it. And not to exclude those who don't have human kids feel free to tell us about your furry babies or even remind us how crazy we are for even getting on this path! Anything parenting!

Bookmarking the thread . . .

I had my 29 yo daughter vent to me today about how overworked and busy she is. How she has so many things going on in her life and overwhelmed she feels. We texted back and forth for a half hour and when we were done, she thanked me for listening to her. I think we both felt better about it when we were done.

 

[lacandy]

Finally! A thread I can actually contribute to!

Here's my first contribution for new parents:

Always remember, there's nothing your child can do about the gene pool he/she came from. That tidbit has worked well for me....

Yeah...I'm soooo screwed!! My daughter is EXACTLY like me...good and bad.

Bookmarking the thread . . .

I had my 29 yo daughter vent to me today about how overworked and busy she is. How she has so many things going on in her life and overwhelmed she feels. We texted back and forth for a half hour and when we were done, she thanked me for listening to her. I think we both felt better about it when we were done.

This is the reward!! The friendship and the talking...it's what gets me through these teen years when I'm pretty sure one of us will run away (more likely than not...me )

 

[LIVINRFANTASIES]

Denny & Dollie

I'll try to keep this short. We have three grown kids with kids. Our grown kids are probably older than some of you kids are.

Just years before our plans of retiring and seeing the USA in a motorhome until we felt we'd need a permanent adddress mybe in Florida, our middle son and wife had a baby boy.
She rejected the baby and had no idea how to care for a cat or turtle! We returned from our Florida vacation, a vacation for fun but also checking out places to retire.

Home for only days, we were asked to be TEMPORARY foster parents to a five day old. This TEMPORARY care went on for a year and half. The welfare workers decided the daughter-in-law would never be qualified to raise a child.
We had no choice but to adopt him. Now we went through learning how to raise babies but we had to start all over. We actually were forced to take a parenting class led by unmarried little girls who didn't know a male baby from a female......

We adopted our first grandson and eventually did retire. Now we needed a home and schools. Or dream was dashed! S**** became our fourth child and we raised him as we did our other three. Actually I saw and played with him much more than the others because I was now retired.

No matter how well your teach and raise a child, they do what they want. S*** went to church, school, and had several different jobs.
He got mixed up with rednecks, whores, drugs, and liquer. Eventually between him and at least 12 different men of all ages he got a slut, whore, druggy, alocholic pregnant. It took blood tests to show S*** was the lucky winner.

He didn't really live with the girl. She sort of wandered from place to place, staying with whoever had food, drugs, and booze. The state took the baby girl.

Our oldest son and wife could never have children. He was fixed after his first wife was caught being a nice nurse to her other patience.

So with much money and confusion, our first son and wife adopted our last son's baby. Now that we moved back near them we see this little girl several times a week. We all worried that something might be wrong since the mother was on so many things not good during pregnancy. The baby is now nearly three and a spoiled brat just like any normal little girl.

So...... we adopted our first grandson.
Our oldest son adopted our first grandson's, now our son's, baby. All in the family and we wouldn't have it any other way.

An update. My son often comes to our house 30 miles from his, to mow and do other things. Little I***** babysits grandpa and grandma. Just recently we told our son that when they pulled up our drive we almost locked the doors. Terrible twos really is terrible when the child is not properly raised and made to mind.
I*** and us survived her terrible twos and in three months I*** will be three. What an angel she is now!

All of this and we still lived our life of fantasies without our family knowing.

 

[Bjerget]

I don't think that routine means it needs to be rigid...some days things happen and kids still need to learn to deal with that. But as much as you can I think is good - makes them feel secure.

When my kids were toddlers we had a fairly normal routine about lunch and nap and dinner and bed time...but that didn't mean that if we were out at the park having fun and it was 1:00 I had to rush home and put them down for a nap...we stayed and played - adaptation is important too.

https://img1.etsystatic.com/133/1/12563544/il_340x270.1100847905_orsl.jpg

Problem is mine doesn't nap anymore. She's crazy agitated by the end of the day, but her daycare won't force her to nap even though she needs it. And we can't just keep her home all day, everyone would go stir crazy.

The other problem is that when she wakes up, she only wants her dad. That pisses me off, because all the other times it's me, and not dad.. and I still wake the fuck up, because my ovaries yell at me when I hear her cry, and can't do anything about it. And than I can't get back to sleep. Sigh.

 

[lacandy]

So...... we adopted our first grandson.
Our oldest son adopted our first grandson's, now our son's, baby. All in the family and we wouldn't have it any other way.

An update. My son often comes to our house 30 miles from his, to mow and do other things. Little I***** babysits grandpa and grandma. Just recently we told our son that when they pulled up our drive we almost locked the doors. Terrible twos really is terrible when the child is not properly raised and made to mind.
I*** and us survived her terrible twos and in three months I*** will be three. What an angel she is now!

All of this and we still lived our life of fantasies without our family knowing.

Just goes to show that parenting happens is sooo many different ways. Those kids were lucky to have such an amazing family to step in and help out!

 

[lacandy]

Problem is mine doesn't nap anymore. She's crazy agitated by the end of the day, but her daycare won't force her to nap even though she needs it. And we can't just keep her home all day, everyone would go stir crazy.

The other problem is that when she wakes up, she only wants her dad. That pisses me off, because all the other times it's me, and not dad.. and I still wake the fuck up, because my ovaries yell at me when I hear her cry, and can't do anything about it. And than I can't get back to sleep. Sigh.

When my kids stopped actually napping, we had what I called "quiet time"... they had to be in their rooms, being quiet - that could mean playing or reading books, but they had to be quiet - for at least an hour. So mommy did go crazy! When they were younger and we did this they usually ended up falling asleep...when they were older I spent a lot of time answering the question, "How much longer?" That's when "quiet time" ended

I think it's all about balance..trying to figure things out on a daily basis. It sounds like you're a great mom and that's all that's going to matter as she gets older. My 14 year old daughter is so much fun now (I figure that will last about three more weeks and then we'll be back to me being the worst mom ever), and I enjoy it while I can

 

[lacandy]

This pretty much describes my life with two teenagers and neither are old enough to drive!

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a3/69/15/a36915a6045cf42e252f80435daa3549.jpg

 

[Bjerget]

When my kids stopped actually napping, we had what I called "quiet time"... they had to be in their rooms, being quiet - that could mean playing or reading books, but they had to be quiet - for at least an hour. So mommy did go crazy! When they were younger and we did this they usually ended up falling asleep...when they were older I spent a lot of time answering the question, "How much longer?" That's when "quiet time" ended

I think it's all about balance..trying to figure things out on a daily basis. It sounds like you're a great mom and that's all that's going to matter as she gets older. My 14 year old daughter is so much fun now (I figure that will last about three more weeks and then we'll be back to me being the worst mom ever), and I enjoy it while I can

I try this but she is an only child, and has no concept of personal space, or idea of how to play alone. We tell her that she has to, but she craves the attention of adults (probably gotten it from me xD) so it doesn't work out too well.

I'm really looking forward to her being a fun older child, who doesn't constantly want me to eat some kind of play food. But I shouldn't complain, she really is the best.

 

[PapaRomantic]

My kids are grown and mostly all out of the house. But I'm still a parent, and I imagine I'll stay that way, no matter how old I get.

But one thing I can look at now about some of the experiences of raising five kids, and there was a whole bunch of this:

It wasn't funny at the time.

Basically you have to look at some of the crazy things kids do and realize that everything can be a learning experience. But I have lots of funny memories that weren't funny when they were being created. If you can remember that, you'll have a chance of making it through.

 

[Bjerget]

To be honest, I never thought it would ever get past the endless crying stage, now I laugh at that. Until it starts again xD

 

[lowphat]

I raised three Step daughter is 36, step son is 28, my son is 27. Each kid was completely different. My best advice, lead by example, and forget that crap about, "Do as I say, not as I do," because they will do like you as soon as they get the chance.

Never insult them, and give them room to make mistakes, it's how they grow. Never let them win a board game, because they will figure it out, and hate you for it. When my daughter beat me fair and square playing Monopoly, it was a high point in her life. The same with my youngest when he beat me playing chess.

Love them even when you want to kill them, and they will trust you with the truth.

I'm sure there was more to it than that, but that's all for now

 

[Bjerget]

I raised three Step daughter is 36, step son is 28, my son is 27. Each kid was completely different. My best advice, lead by example, and forget that crap about, "Do as I say, not as I do," because they will do like you as soon as they get the chance.

Never insult them, and give them room to make mistakes, it's how they grow. Never let them win a board game, because they will figure it out, and hate you for it. When my daughter beat me fair and square playing Monopoly, it was a high point in her life. The same with my youngest when he beat me playing chess.

Love them even when you want to kill them, and they will trust you with the truth.

I'm sure there was more to it than that, but that's all for now

All that's fine and good, but how did you get them to sleep??!!

Seriously though, great advice. Thanks!

 

[lowphat]

All that's fine and good, but how did you get them to sleep??!!

Seriously though, great advice. Thanks!

The two oldest were pretty good about sleep. My son was Hyperactive just like I was, so I had to wear him out. We did a lot of indoor sports, like long jump, and built a lot of forts from bedsheets.

When he was five he started working on my truck with me. Pulling wrenches wore him out pretty good too

 

[Bjerget]

The two oldest were pretty good about sleep. My son was Hyperactive just like I was, so I had to wear him out. We did a lot of indoor sports, like long jump, and built a lot of forts from bedsheets.

When he was five he started working on my truck with me. Pulling wrenches wore him out pretty good too

Mine's only 3 1/2 so we'll wait a little while longer for manual labor

 

[lacandy]

I raised three Step daughter is 36, step son is 28, my son is 27. Each kid was completely different. My best advice, lead by example, and forget that crap about, "Do as I say, not as I do," because they will do like you as soon as they get the chance.

Never insult them, and give them room to make mistakes, it's how they grow. Never let them win a board game, because they will figure it out, and hate you for it. When my daughter beat me fair and square playing Monopoly, it was a high point in her life. The same with my youngest when he beat me playing chess.

Love them even when you want to kill them, and they will trust you with the truth.

I'm sure there was more to it than that, but that's all for now

Love these words of wisdom...

The best piece if advice I got when I was pregnant with my first was to expect them to behave in public and let them test their boundries at home. Every teacher, parent, coach has lived my kids because they are respectful and rule follower out in the world...at home? They have tested the limits of their mother with fighting, coloring on the carpet (they made an ocean on my ceam carpet), defying me, lying...we,be been through it all. And they have been punished and taught so in public they are good kids.

That's not to say to let them be monsters at home either. They need rules, but if they are going to learn consequences I want it to be me who teaches it...not the judicial system.

As far as getting her to sleep Light Shiva?? Ours was just routine...at a certain time pjs were put on, then at a certain time we went to the bedroom and read several books, then it was brush your teeth and hop in bed...my kids were good sleepers and rarely was there a lot of getting up after. So I got nothing other than that (though I can suggest wine again...take that how you want )

 

[Bjerget]

As far as getting her to sleep Light Shiva?? Ours was just routine...at a certain time pjs were put on, then at a certain time we went to the bedroom and read several books, then it was brush your teeth and hop in bed...my kids were good sleepers and rarely was there a lot of getting up after. So I got nothing other than that (though I can suggest wine again...take that how you want )

No no maybe I didn't explain the problem correctly. It's no problem whatsoever to get her to sleep. She says goodnight, brushes her teeth and gets a story and maybe a song, if she's upset. But that's that, no problems. It's the frantic, heart pounding waking up in the middle of the night, for no obvious reason, that is the real problem. It's the staying up for an hour or so, crying and screaming and finally falling back asleep, to maybe do it one more time before 6:30am that does my head in.

 

[lacandy]

No no maybe I didn't explain the problem correctly. It's no problem whatsoever to get her to sleep. She says goodnight, brushes her teeth and gets a story and maybe a song, if she's upset. But that's that, no problems. It's the frantic, heart pounding waking up in the middle of the night, for no obvious reason, that is the real problem. It's the staying up for an hour or so, crying and screaming and finally falling back asleep, to maybe do it one more time before 6:30am that does my head in.

Ahhhh....okay. Well, and I'm not proud of this but my daughter used to do this - for her she said that her knees hurt all the time (we had them scanned and it was nothing that anyone could find) so, I bought dinner mints - you know the butter mint kind that are little squares? We told her it was her "knee medicine" and would give her one every night before bed. I have to say that it was a rare occasion that she woke up screaming.

I know this is a little different, but maybe there is something that you can give her that will be her "go to" placebo? A special stuffed animal that watches over her and you say good night to it every night? Something like that?