Quit stressing about work

[ladylizzy]

Just finished a big group project at work. It's nice to have it over with but we keep evaluating it (4 eval meetings in a week) and it continues to stress me out. It went well for the most part and just keep talking about what to do differently next time.

I was just having a good dream about someone else who was involved, but I realized why I was thinking about it, I started to relive the whole meeting and stressed myself awake.

Now as I try to fall back asleep I keep thinking of things I did wrong or never got to and how I can do better...almost as of the there's still time to fix it.

How do I forgive myself and move on so I can get some rest?

 

[MSTarot]

By looking ahead and not behind. Find your next big project and get started on it. It will soon drive the one your stressing on into the past where it now belongs.

In my work I can look at something I've done and find a dozen reasons to want to tweak this or that. My boss once said a very smart thing to me. "Are you going to tear it down and do it over?" to which i relpied 'No."

he answered "Then leave it the hell alone, something else is waiting for you to get started on."

Hope that helped.

M.S.Tarot

 

[SweetErika]

Another thing you might try is a physical representation of getting the stress out of your life. I hit golf balls at the driving range and visualize putting whatever I'm stressed/angry about on the balls, but you could do the same with any other activity that involves some physical force (even running or hitting a pillow). You could even write all of your stressed thoughts down on pieces of paper then burn them as a physical representation of how you're letting go.

 

[njlauren]

One of the big mistakes is the 'we keep evaluating it'. One thing I know by work experience and by training in quality and productivity management, you do a PM, take out of it what you can, make plans to improve things in the future and move on.

As far as yourself, the answer is as someone else said, move on (yeah, I know real easy to say). The question you should ask yourself is on this project, did you do the best you could, did you put your best effort into it? And if you made mistakes, what caused them? Was it you did something totally stupid and should have known better, or were they simply human slip ups or as often happens, are only clear in hindsight? The point is we are only human, can only do so much..

Plus also, since you have been doing evaluations at work, did other team members come through 'doing things perfectly'? Was it you were the only one to make mistakes or did others make them , too?

In one sense, it is good that you care about what you are doing, that you care, but the point is all you can do is look forward. The other thing is, are you worried that somehow because of the nature of the project, that you will be singled out somehow, that you didn't measure up? If the project went halfway decently (which it sounds like it did), then it is likely mistakes are only that, not a big deal. I work in a high pressure industry, have for 25+ years, I have had direct responsibility in how my company did business, if I did my job poorly it would cause major havoc and major losses in the blink of an eye......so I know what pressure is, I know what mistakes are, and unless you are a total fuck up who does this all the time, all you can do is what a french doctor at the stock exchange I then worked for said when he saw my blood pressure, and that was basically do your best and fuck the rest.

Want one little thing to try, and I know it sounds goofy.....before you go to bed, try taking an alka seltzer, make sure it fizzes down a bit before drinking it and drink the whole thing. I don't know what in it does it, but I have found it helps me when I get into that kind of OCD/anxiety cycle

 

[ladylizzy]

You all are so awesome. Thank you thank you thank you! There's some great advice here. I'm so glad I posted!

 

[ladylizzy]

There really is no point stressing about a past project. It's done, you can't change it. You can just accept how it went down and take the lessons from it into the nex project.

Also, there's always guided sleep meditation. Simonette Vaja is amazing. For the longest time after my daughter died it was the only thing that could make me turn "off" long enough to sleep.

So sorry to hear about your loss. I definitely want to look into meditation.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Write It Down

Over the years I've gotten a lot of release by taking a little time and writing down all the lessons I learned (personally) through the project, all the things that worked for me, all the things that didn't, what I enjoyed, what pissed me off. For me, the act of writing them down is cathartic. Then, as time and other projects pass, I can look back at it and realize that it's always the same things that irritate me with project work. Then, I work on putting into the place the actions that help keep those things from rising up.

 

[Lion_Roar]

I have to agree with SweetErika. Doing something physical is a great way to relieve stress. When I was highly stressed out, one of my friends told me to consider exercising. I thought the idea was silly but I eventually gave in and went to the gym with him. We would lift weights and right before I would start he would tell me to think about the things that were stressing me out. I would visualize the problem and then put in my reps. I could literally feel the pressure and stress leave as I pushed them out. Even if you don't want to lift weights, ride a stationary bike, visualize your stress and then pedal hard and sprint. Not only does this de-stress but it is good for you too! I can't tell you how many times I have gone to the gym angry or worked up and left with a smile on my face.

Or just find a new hobby. When you feel overwhelmed partake in it to get your mind off of your problems.