Questions???

[omahaman2]

People often have questions they cant find the answers to themselves. When we were young, we had mom or dad around to answer our questions like " why is the sky blue?" Now, that we are on our own,who do we turn to, to find the answers to questions we cant answer? I thought we could all help each other!
Post your questions here, and hopefully one of our fellow playgrounders can help!
I'll start it of,with a few of my own!


If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

 

[RonClarkeson]

Gee are you sick or what?

People often have questions they cant find the answers to themselves. When we were young, we had mom or dad around to answer our questions like " why is the sky blue?" Now, that we are on our own,who do we turn to, to find the answers to questions we cant answer? I thought we could all help each other!
Post your questions here, and hopefully one of our fellow playgrounders can help!
I'll start it of,with a few of my own!


If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

This world is dog eat dog.

What are you?

Dinner?

 

[omahaman2]

Why are you "in" a movie, but you're "on" TV?

Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?


Does a clean house indicate there's a broken computer in it?

Do cows have calf muscles?

 

[omahaman2]

Why do they put braille on the pad of drive up ATMs?

 

[Sunnygrl]

How much is all the tea in China actually worth?

Why do hot dogs come in packs of 10 while buns come in packs of 8 or 12?

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

 

[Sunnygrl]

Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

 

[Sunnygrl]

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

 

[boese_ami]

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

god DAMN these are lame!!

Marc (also in sun-fun land)

 

[iceracer]

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

uh ohhh head spinning too many questions

 

[Sunnygrl]

uh ohhh head spinning too many questions

Sorry! Do you have answers for me? I am very inquisitive!

 

[SimpleGifts]

If someone says that you're one in a million, does that mean that in China there are over 1,000 people just like you?

Has anyone ever given someone long shrift?

Why do we park in the driveway and drive on a parkway (in the United States)?

SG

 

[omahaman2]

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

What if there were no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

 

[omahaman2]

Why is a round pizza put in a square box?

Can you cry under the water?

Is it still called a hearing when deaf person goes to court?

If you have a cured ham, what disease did it have?

Will you be fired if you drink Pepsi at a Coke factory?

Does a person have to be important before they are considered assassinated instead of just plain murdered?

If sandwich bread is square, then why is most luncheon meats round?

When you go to Heaven, do you wear the clothes you were buried in forever?

Babies wake up almost every two hours or so, then why say, “sleep like a baby”?

Why did man walk on the moon before it was discovered that wheels could be put on luggage?

Why go to the top of a tall building only to put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Money does not grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

 

[omahaman2]

Once you've heard a sound, where does the sound go?

What colour is a chameleon?

In a light tight room from where light cannot escape, when you turn off the light bulb, where does the light that filled the room go?

Why is it called the Afterlife when it's really Afterdeath?

Why is it called Afterdark when it's really Afterlight?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do 24/7 stores have locks fitted to the doors?

Why are soapsuds always white?

After you've heard it, where does sound go?

Why do Superheroes wear tights?

If Buzz Lightyear doesn't know he's a toy why does he stop talking when humans are around?

If humans evolved from apes, why do we still have apes?

Who filmed Neil Armstrong's first step on the moon?

If humans left the earth, would Time cease to exist?

Why do Psychics keep sending me spam, don't they know I'm not interested?

What was the root of all evil before money?

Who cut off Mickey's tail?

If we all stopped voting, would the politicians go away?

What seeds were used for seedless grapes?

 

[omahaman2]

If car racing is a sport, then everyone on the freeway is an athlete?

When Bill Gates got married, did he just skip the part about "richer or poorer"?

Why isn't there a Ms. Coffee?

 

[carrie-on]

In a light tight room from where light cannot escape, when you turn off the light bulb, where does the light that filled the room go?

I got the answer to this one!!!!


Darksuckers


Bell Labs Proves Existence of Dark Suckers

For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light.

The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing into the candle.

Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach a depth of approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats to the top. The immense power of dark can be utilized to mans advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of lakes and push it through turbines, which generate electricity and help push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives much easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember that it is indeed a dark sucker.

 

[omahaman2]

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

[Golden_Silence]

Why do they put braille on the pad of drive up ATMs?

I have often wondered that one myself... I guess its because the companies like NCR that make ATMS just made the same machines over and over and over and over.......

 

[Golden_Silence]

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

You best hope you're a cat

 

[omahaman2]

If a cow laughed, would milk come out of her nose?

 

[pleaz_me]

Do deaf people talk to themselves?

 

[Annicka]

Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a clumsy javelin thrower?

 

[Annicka]

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

 

[omahaman2]

Should we face the music even if it's country-western?

 

[koalabear]

Should we face the music even if it's country-western?

Hold out till you hear the German accordion polka music.....