Questions About Cheating While Engaged

[Rumple Foreskin]

How would a "good girl" rationalize cheating on her finace'? I've just posted a story "Cindy's Sex Seminar" at: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=41555) in which the protagonist, an engaged college nursing student, spends the weekend with a new man, a wounded Viet Nam vet, she met at a VA hospital.

Her fiance' was her first and until that weekend, her only lover. They've been dating for nearly four years, making love for two, and plan on getting married when she graduates.

But then she met this new guy. While it's not an overnight thing, eventually she agrees to spend the weekend with him but keeps telling herself she didn't mean to get involved with anyone else, that this is a one-time experience, that she still loves her fiance' and is looking forward to their being married.

What I'd be interested in knowing is:

1. Does this sound plausible?

2. Have you, or anyone you know, ever slept with someone else while engaged?

3. If so, what was the rationalization, if any, and how did it effect the engagement?

4. If not, how do you think someone would explain their being unfaithful and how would it effect the engagement?

Many thanks for your time and input.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[Bindii]

How would a "good girl" rationalize cheating on her finace'? I've just posted a story "Cindy's Sex Seminar" at: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=41555) in which the protagonist, an engaged college nursing student, spends the weekend with a new man, a wounded Viet Nam vet, she met at a VA hospital.

Her fiance' was her first and until that weekend, her only lover. They've been dating for nearly four years, making love for two, and plan on getting married when she graduates.

But then she met this new guy. While it's not an overnight thing, eventually she agrees to spend the weekend with him but keeps telling herself she didn't mean to get involved with anyone else, that this is a one-time experience, that she still loves her fiance' and is looking forward to their being married.

What I'd be interested in knowing is:

1. Does this sound plausible? Anything is plausable, human nature dictates that. Its certainly believable enough.

2. Have you, or anyone you know, ever slept with someone else while engaged? Yes and No. I came very close to sleeping with someone when I was engaged, basically we did everything but intercourse itself; only backing out at the last minute through guilt.

3. If so, what was the rationalization, if any, and how did it effect the engagement? I don't think that any rationalisation on my behalf actually makes it alright. I told my fiancee at the time (we are now divorced) and he accepted and forgave me. He actually took it a lot better than I did!

4. If not, how do you think someone would explain their being unfaithful and how would it effect the engagement? Most relationships would not continue after a betrayal like this. Think about it, would you step into a lifelong commitment with someone who wasn't even able to stay faithful when you are supposed to be your happiest?

Many thanks for your time and input.

Rumple Foreskin

Anything is plausable, human nature dictates that.

 

[Bindii]

I should have put more effort into your question number three.

The only reason that I had at the time for doing what I did was that the guy that I fooled around with had been in the same circle of friends for many years. Throughout all of this time there was always a strong sexual attraction between us, this fact was pointed out by our friends on more than one occasion - even though we both denied it, to each other and ourselves. I guess that I always wondered..... We were never able to to 'get together' as a couple due to our other relationships at the time.

Looking back (now that I'm divorced) I am not sorry that I did what I did.

We still remain friends, the sexual attraction is still there. I doubt that anything will ever come of it though...not for his lack of trying...lol



*sigh, its nice to be wanted sometimes*

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Bindii,

Thanks for the thoughtful reply(ies). I was hoping to get a sense of how folks around here, especially women, felt about this subject. If "cheating" while engaged is rare and/or viewed very negatively, I may need to spend more time (and space) explaining my protags actions.

Good luck with your friend.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[lavender]

 

[Calamity Jane]

1. Does this sound plausible?

Completely

2. Have you, or anyone you know, ever slept with someone else while engaged?

My husband was engaged when we started dating. I didn't know about it. After we slept together, he told me he had a girlfriend back home. I continued seeing him, with the rationalization that she was 7 hours away and he only wnet home once a month. So I didn't look at it as any big deal. I didn't find out til much later that she was a fiance, not just a girlfriend.

3. If so, what was the rationalization, if any, and how did it effect the engagement?

see above. And we're married now, so obviously, the engagement ended.

4. If not, how do you think someone would explain their being unfaithful and how would it effect the engagement?

Many thanks for your time and input.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[TN_Vixen]

of course it's plausible, but from my perspective - I don't see any justification whatsoever in cheating on a boyfriend, fiance or spouse.

 

[Phoenyx]

If you are involved with someone Whether engaged or married, cheating is cheating.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Your Cheating Heart, plus Mind, Body, etc.

Cheating while engaged seems to be more common than I imagined and may be one of those issues no one is neutral about. Thanks for the input. Feel free to add any other thoughts.

Rumple Foreskin