Question for the Cafe

[Chris_Xavier]

I think I'll just run out and get arrested... back in a few days.

Few days?? Damn.. what are you going to expose?

 

[FungiUg]

Few days?? Damn.. what are you going to expose?

Takes me a good portion of that time just to get the damn thing unzipped!

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Takes me a good portion of that time just to get the damn thing unzipped!

Because.. a) you forgot how b) the zipper is stuck c) you're afraid someone might be watching d) you put your pants on backwards

I know the issue isn't size.. there have been rumors..

 

[h_i_s]

This is hard to do, but since it keeps eating away at me; i must ask anyway.

For some reason, am i being blacklisted here on Lit?

i see where people say that my words have meaning, but very few seem to want to get to know me. And no, its not a plea for attention! i just need to know, for my peace of mind.

Is it because i am shy, or speak the truth, or what?

Or has someone put out lies about me? What???

i have been polite to people, since i am one of the newer members of the boards; so is thats whats getting to people??

i consider most of the ones i have talked to good people. This is just starting to really depress me.


So answer with the truth, no matter how bad it is. Just so i know.

It's not you. And you are not the first to wonder...... so.. that says something in itself, huh??

And I used to wonder the same when I first started posting on these boards [and it's a seemingly nicer group here... try the GB if you want to feel like a REAL outcast lollol...]
It's like Bunny said.. It's how it is here [although... i have well over 1000 posts, still know nobody here and none REALLY know me].

Been that way as long as I've been here. I'd guess it's been that way since before that, too. On the surface it may seem that everyone else is mingling behind the scenes and having fun.... shrugs-- Maybe they are. I doubt it though, because, I am very friendly and very direct and approachable [i think ] and for as long as i have been a member now, I rarely get PMs or much of anything unless I initiate. I've never cleared my PMs and I have 32 total since joining Lit in 2004. See what I mean??

There is a thread around about this very subject. It's just burried a bit. Maybe someone can find it and kick it back to the top of the stack.

As far as I know: There is no secret club or clique here in the BDSM sect of Lit that the founders have neglected to invite you to join. --And.. If there is, I'm blacklisted too..... I'd guess. heh heh

Just be yourself, have fun... and don't worry about fitting in. If people don't like you, tough shit for them.. Can't please everyone anyway..... & more fun not to try.

 

[FungiUg]

Because.. a) you forgot how b) the zipper is stuck c) you're afraid someone might be watching d) you put your pants on backwards

All of the above?

I know the issue isn't size.. there have been rumors..

There ain't been no rumours, because of, well, all of the above.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I wouldn't sweat it. I have been here since July 2002, moderator for much of that time, and don't make regular contact with anyone. I have met a few from the forum in RL and adore most of them, even PM or email occasionally, but I am just someone who has a lot going on and even in RL is not a person who is in daily/weekly/monthly contact with anyone including family. It isn't a sign of how I feel about them, just I am not an overly social person and don't usually have a lot to say on a personal level on a regular basis.

It is one reason I hate emails....I used to have penpals in the old days (and even that was a struggle to keep up with) and enjoyed it because you didn't have to respond immediately, and you knew even when you posted the letter away it would take a week or more to get to them, and then time for them to write back and it get back to me...emails seem to be that people expect an instant reply and so it goes on back and forth and I just don't have that amount of time or things to say. I occasionally PM some here, they occasionally PM me, and it seems to work fine...others like more constant contact. And like someone also said, I have been burned a couple of times by people I have made contact with through here and later wondered why I opened up and trusted so much...so I am more careful now.

Catalina

 

[FungiUg]

[...]I have been burned a couple of times by people I have made contact with through here and later wondered why I opened up and trusted so much...

*hugs*

 

[Chris_Xavier]

All of the above?


There ain't been no rumours, because of, well, all of the above.

Okay.. if you say so..

 

[h_i_s]

......................

On a related note, I've recently noticed a whole bunch of posts that sound something like: well, I for one pay attention to the following fabulous people here...and then a rather lengthy list ensues, and I'm never on it!

I know exactly what you mean.... I relate. I have seen so many of those threads.
I dislike the lists.. with as many as they highlight as special, none seem to realize that they do the opposite to those not included on them.

Next time you see one try this: Start your own. Add only yourself to the list. Then block the rest of the entire community of Lit. Taa! Daaa! You will be the ONLY one on the list rather than feel like the only one NOT INCLUDED. hehehe

 

[h_i_s]

Intothewoods? I've not seen you around here before, but you seem like an interesting person. I'm sure that if you post more, someone is sure to notice your wit and relevance.

Really. Honest.

I don't think anyone notices me either. I'm just the fuzzy bald dude in the corner with the frowny lips.

--



*notices the sexy pout*

How you doin?

I have you stuck in my mind as the nice guy whose posts I like... but mainly you are the guy with the nice hat in his sig. *shrugs*

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Just be yourself, have fun... and don't worry about fitting in. If people don't like you, tough shit for them.. Can't please everyone anyway..... & more fun not to try.

Good advice there sinn..

as for talking to you.. you started one or two threads way way back and I'm a Johnny come lately.. I sort of figure you've been there.. said that so I just watch what you say and try to learn something (that and I have been perving your am pics thread - wow!)

 

[reignophelia]

Mmm yeah. I just keep an eye on things, and if I feel like I can put in my wankerish 2 cents then I do. Sometimes I'm serious, but it's a rarity. I prefer to come here to relax. My RL is serious enough as it is.

I speak when I feel like speaking, but I notice a lot of things. Keep plugging away at it Dove. I like you already. See? We spoke yesterday, but that was the first time I ever remember talking to you. It's a start. Send me a pm if you like. I like to think that I'm very amusing. I sing and dance, and love to entertain!

 

[h_i_s]

For crying out loud.

You've got 170 posts!

Not that I'm all that active these days, but absent being at the center of some huge controversy, that's just not long enough to land on the radar of the average poster, like myself, who isn't taking notes on who says what.

I see a few posters in this thread who have almost ten times as many posts and I have no clue who they are.

Who the hell are YOU?
and
Who let you in here?

 

[h_i_s]

Good advice there sinn..

as for talking to you.. you started one or two threads way way back and I'm a Johnny come lately.. I sort of figure you've been there.. said that so I just watch what you say and try to learn something (that and I have been perving your am pics thread - wow!)

Awww thanks.
I'm a newbie , you know.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

Awww thanks.
I'm a newbie , you know.

*Looks at her join date vs my join date.*

I don't think so..

 

[reignophelia]

*Looks at her join date vs my join date.*

I don't think so..

Hmm innocent indeed. *chuckles*

I know, she's gorgeous isn't she?

 

[Etoile]

There is a thread around about this very subject. It's just burried a bit. Maybe someone can find it and kick it back to the top of the stack.

Damn! I searched and I cannot find it. I think the title is something like "Is Lit unfriendly to newbies?" or "Lit is unwelcoming to newbies" or something like that but I cannot find it.

 

[Mazuri]

What the hell, I'll throw my two cents in They're jingling in my pocket and driving me crazy.

I don't think Lit is unwelcoming or unfriendly, but it is a social place like any other. If there are a bunch of folks who know each other well (or fairly well) already and have for weeks/months/years, it can seem hard to break into the established group. There will be jokes you don't get, references that confuse you, and a feeling of close-knittedness (yes, I know that's not a word, work with me here) that excludes you. However, it's the same as going to your spouse's office Christmas party if you don't know them well.

You need to put yourself out there, make replies, comments, etc so that people get a sense of your personality, sense of humor, what you have to offer. Break into the group, but gently, and soon you'll wonder why you ever thought they were unfriendly.

Now, granted, I haven't done the same here (or on the HT/HT Cafe) as I'm more a lurker type than a posty type. I think I've had 13 PMs since I joined and most of those were exchanges with someone who works at the same store chain as I do I suppose it's all in what you want/expect from your Lit experience but it will be up to you to make it happen

 

[JMohegan]

Dude - I only got a crush shout out from Miss Rebecca, who felt sorry for me.

I'm cool with the amount of responses I get to my posts. I'm just never on the list. RJ posted the most recent one, btw. (Gawd, I'm so lame!) In the Ishmael thread.

Yes, you are being lame at the moment.

Click me. (Note the thread title in the top right hand corner.)

As long as I'm comfortable with who I am and what I do, then this sort of thing won't bother me. In the virtual world, as in the real one, I assume that some people react to me positively, others negatively, and still others just have different interests or better things to do than to pay attention to whatever I might do or say.

That's true for me, and it's true for everyone. Including you.

 

[rida]

- since nobody is saying it ... I'll add two more cents -

If you just want a lot of PM ... start your own pic thread at the AmPic forum ... you'll get plenty! Cannot guarantee on the quality of all ... but you get to know more people

Now if you only want to get to know the people on the BDSM forums ... just keep on posting!

-end of my two more cent -

 

[Homburg]

I have you stuck in my mind as the nice guy whose posts I like... but mainly you are the guy with the nice hat in his sig. *shrugs*

It's all about the hat.

(And I need to find out where I can get one like that in my size, grr...)

 

[rida]

.....

Aww! Thanks! I wonder what sort of list that would be?

*chuckles imagining*

articulated, witty poster whom I enjoy reading

 

[WriterDom]

- since nobody is saying it ... I'll add two more cents -

If you just want a lot of PM ... start your own pic thread at the AmPic forum ... you'll get plenty! Cannot guarantee on the quality of all ... but you get to know more people

Now if you only want to get to know the people on the BDSM forums ... just keep on posting!

-end of my two more cent -

And it helps to have a hot body like rida.

 

[rida]

And it helps to have a hot body like rida.

Thank you WriterDom

It is an honor to be complimented by you

 

[intothewoods]

I know exactly what you mean.... I relate. I have seen so many of those threads.
I dislike the lists.. with as many as they highlight as special, none seem to realize that they do the opposite to those not included on them.

Next time you see one try this: Start your own. Add only yourself to the list. Then block the rest of the entire community of Lit. Taa! Daaa! You will be the ONLY one on the list rather than feel like the only one NOT INCLUDED. hehehe

Yeah, that'll show 'em!