Question for "Swingers"

[zigmo]

Hello all..."newbie" here, so please be kind

My husband and I are getting ready to book a couples-only trip to a clothing-optional resort. We are not swingers/lifestylers and have never taken a trip such as this. The resort apparently has some swingers that go, and the resort has a nice, sexual vibe. We are in our 40s, so we are looking to spice things up. We've already discussed how far we would possibly allow things to go, but of course, never having been in any type of "sharing" situation, this will all be new. What can I expect? I would imagine people won't just come walking right up and ask us to partake. I'm thinking things would start out as socializing/chit-chatting. I may even get there, and decide "no way!!" Anyone care to enlighten me on what I can expect? I am quite naive' in the "lifestyle" of sharing.

 

[FloridaSmoothie]

There are some good swinger web sites which have lots of information for beginners. I would check them out as opposed to relying on Lit for all your swinger advice.

 

[bob53]

I totally agree and a good place to start is swingersboard.com There is a good group there and be sure to check out the "Curious about Swinging" section along with the other sections.
Virtually ANY question you might have has been gone over in those threads.
Once you have read a bit feel free to ask anything there. It is a bunch of experienced people that have seen just about everything - both good and bad.

 

[RsMisfit]

My BF and I had our first swinging experience recently. We have had a MMF and MFF 3 way before but this was our first "swing". My advice is to be yourself and let things happen as they may. You and your spouse should already agree ahead of time what is and isnt allowed! Good luck and enjoy it. It's an amazing exp!

 

[Matthewbn]

My wife and i both read books and talk openly about what our desires are..You need to make sure you both are doing it for the right reasons...Also after we talk and tell each other what we liked and didn't like...

 

[djyak]

By all means, check out the websites for advice. You have already talked a lot with each other which is great also, and setting boundaries. From our own experience, the classy places and experienced couples won't push themselves or you into anything. They're polite and ask. We started out just having sex in front of others and allowing them to touch us, without them having sex with us, and all were fine with it. Now we've progressed, and wouldn't turn back for anything!

Tifani

 

[Leviticus59]

There is a rule in the lifestyle~ "No means no."

It has been our experience that most everybody does abide by this rule. The rare exception might be the occasional drunk single guy. If the management is good, any sort of breach of the rule will be taken care of very quickly. In short, nobody is going to make you do anything you don't want to do, or corral you into some situation you don't want to be in.

It is very easy to not partake in any lifestyle activity if you don't want to. Just don't come on to anyone or let them come on to you. This is not to say you must keep to yourselves and not interact with anyone. Even people who are interested in you will behave if you tell them you're there merely to enjoy the atmosphere. They will understand.

Mature lifestyle people are the happiest, friendliest, people you are likely to every meet. Relax and enjoy yourselves.

 

[Sistinas74]

my experience..

I have yet to visit a resort, however, I have been to a cpl of parties. I think the situation is more controlled with meeting a couple or single for fun. Outside of that the parties can be tricky! I know that they say for beginner swingers to not jump into orgies or group sex. If you begin playing with people and others are around, they may try and slide on into the action. I had this happen at a private party where a guy jumped into the action and I was less than thrilled with his involvement. I would just be aware and make sure all agree who you want to be intimate withGood luck and have fun!!

 

[zigmo]

Thanks everyone for your advice. We are now booked for our trip to the resort, and my husband and I are very excited!!!! With all the research I've done know, I am beginning to see that swingers are on the norm, a friendly bunch. Luckily, at the resort, it is couples-only, so we won't have to worry about an single people jumping in! It's funny because my husband is just telling me that I can "lead the way". He's open to whatever comes our way, and whatever I'm comfortable with. We are just going to be relaxed, excited, and prepared for anything. And I'm definitely looking forward to being able to go nude too! And I think I will definitely not have a problem being a voyeur and watching all the activities going on! Thanks again!!!

 

[Hedo_Harry]

My wife and I attend a clothing-optional resort with lots of swinging going on. I even posted a story about it:

http://www.literotica.com/s/anything-goes-at-hedo

The one thing I can tell you is that swingers tend to be very respectful people. If they approach you and suggest something, and you politely say no thanks, they will not be offended or rude. They will smile and say that's fine, have a nice day!

If you choose to do the approaching to others, you will probably be treated with the same respect. They may say yes, they may decline, but in either case they will be polite and respectful and friendly. Everyone has their own boundaries, and everyone respects everyone else's boundaries.

At least, that's they way it is supposed to work, and in our experience, it usually does.

Oh, one other thing: make sure you discuss your boundaries with your husband ahead of time. If there is something you absolutely don't want to see happen, makes sure he knows it up front. And find out what his limits are for you. Sounds like you are already doing that, but I wanted to emphasize how important it is.

 

[zigmo]

Thanks, Hedo Harry! Interesting and fun read! And yep, heard all about Hedo. From what I've heard, we'll be going to a much tamer resort, which is okay with me for this newbie. But it'll still be clothing optional and known for having swingers; just not as big of a party place. And yep, my hubby and I have been discussing boundaries quite often now.

 

[albertaboy]

Thanks, Hedo Harry! Interesting and fun read! And yep, heard all about Hedo. From what I've heard, we'll be going to a much tamer resort, which is okay with me for this newbie. But it'll still be clothing optional and known for having swingers; just not as big of a party place. And yep, my hubby and I have been discussing boundaries quite often now.

which resort are you going to out of curiosity?

 

[zigmo]

Desire Pearl, Mexico. They just opened last March.