Puns

[done_got_old]

I hired a man to do odd jobs around my house. I gave him a list of eight things to do. He only did 1 3 5 and 7

 

[mnbreastluver]

It's hard being a rock.

 

[Eisranac]

It's hard being a rock.

That reminds me of the military personnel who served during the Gulf War and were caught between Iraq and a hard place.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Everybody sucks at blowjobs.

 

[done_got_old]

Milk is the fastest liquid on earth...... its past ur eyes before you see it.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/96243968_2878412592279754_2084136526811234304_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=bhv1wIdxNnIAX8qKpZJ&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=2111b4e611ea95558f1e9cd6af06db68&oe=5EDD62C3

 

[L8tnIt]

I feel like a motorcycle a lot. I am always left too tired.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/59295998_2507072812638902_9026206422056042496_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_sid=8bfeb9&_nc_ohc=fCqas4nYuyEAX-3guSq&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=09dd70c940fa96428b4ce98be5beb4bd&oe=5EDF7A67

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/97106125_3191953114172855_5050129731840638976_o.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=YouY-GGshUwAX8P6tGm&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=77a8513ab79f707b05770d1b221e2220&oe=5EE02D3D

 

[mnbreastluver]

If Dwayne Johnson stole a diamond and was sent to Alcatraz, the newspapers could read The Rock is sent to The Rock for stealing a rock.

 

[done_got_old]

Luke Skywalker did a lot of fighting on the breakwater. After all, he was a jetty knight

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13178540_10206501123786845_2852702743618738903_n.jpg?_nc_cat=103&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=ORl4tIkVAE0AX_Zmku5&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=5493f889fb7ac63c50819c1ac939be52&oe=5EE173A8

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/p843x403/96601574_1525863390923021_3695444205699596288_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=YeNzO7eFg-AAX_hAdFd&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&_nc_tp=6&oh=e4ea93316a0348f2aff0c8a4555cc12f&oe=5EE2781A

 

[Eisranac]

If Dwayne Johnson stole a diamond and was sent to Alcatraz, the newspapers could read The Rock is sent to The Rock for stealing a rock.

...and if that diamond was stolen in a certain country in the Middle East while listening to two certain songs, the headline might instead read “The Rock is sent to The Rock for stealing a rock in Iraq while listening to I Am A Rock and She Loves Me Like a Rock.”

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/97618642_10223431072431215_4517965438277124096_n.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=DfirICSPJFUAX8T2vnM&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=7e12b87edbe242015de371155f936e0a&oe=5EE6B574

 

[AlbertPierrepoint]

2 Parrots sit on a perch. One says to the other 'Can you smell fish'?

 

[Ask For More]

I signed up for a new streaming video platform today. The password had to be 8 characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/97479731_10157552991333710_4708969166575501312_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=4jNWd3Qk0-sAX_BweNO&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=2f735f2b536e2320df756a4e56f8859e&oe=5EE7267E

 

[done_got_old]

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry.

He has selfie steam issues.

 

[mnbreastluver]

An exotic dancer in Poland is a stripper Pole on a stripper pole.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/98212252_3506128082735245_3227623865169477632_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=gQ93TNXKYicAX9PpylQ&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=6db3aad55d9d36ac2ae69030542ab3f0&oe=5EE960F6

 

[Ironfan]

My mate said "nothing rhymes with purple", I said "no it doesn't"

 

[Eisranac]

An exotic dancer in Poland is a stripper Pole on a stripper pole.

I think we should take a stripper poll on that one.

My mate said "nothing rhymes with purple", I said "no it doesn't"

You would post that on a site which promotes sex and violets.

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/98212252_3506128082735245_3227623865169477632_n.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=825194&_nc_ohc=gQ93TNXKYicAX9PpylQ&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=6db3aad55d9d36ac2ae69030542ab3f0&oe=5EE960F6

I admit that I shot hundreds of people myself.

Picture this: it was with a camera.

 

[SexyLemon]

I admit that I shot hundreds of people myself.

Picture this: it was with a camera.

I think it’s a developing story.

 

[Eisranac]

I think it’s a developing story.

Not to be negative about it, but you may have exposed the truth.

Film at 11?