Puns

Our local art museum recently hired a kindly local lady to give tours. The museum has a "pay what you can afford" policy. They also have a "no perfumes" policy. She has proven to be so good ad the job that the museum has refused to let her take shifts at their other branch. Thus, she is an un-lent, recent, decent, no-scent, two-cent docent.
 
While I was dining in the restaurant of a large hotel, I heard a loud crash. A waitress had dropped a whole tray of coffee cups, plates, and dishes. Being only a couple tables away from her, I felt a stinging pain in my hand where I was cut from the shattered debris.

I was immediately escorted to the hotel doctor.

"What happened?" he asked.

I said, "Attacked by a flying saucer."
 
This year in the toy department, drones are a big hit. They are literally flying off the shelves.
 
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