Puns

The often-looted grocery accepted no credit cards because their business was mainly smash-and-carry.
 
A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears some music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827. Then he realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backward.

Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backward. The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.

By the next day the word has spread and a throng has gathered around the grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.

Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!"
 
The only time “incorrectly” is spelt incorrectly is when it’s not spelt “incorrectly”
 
It was selfie destructive when the guy who took a photo from top of a cliff slipped into the precipice!
 
Yesterday I fell into a blackberry bush which pierced the skin on my torso. I was able to remove all of the projections except for one. It's become quite a thorn in my side.
 
He was really proud that his teeth are so mathematically smart.

His dentist commented on just how much calculus he found in his mouth.
 
You can take any product you like from a shop without paying as long as it hasn't got a battery. If anyone tries to stop you, just tell them it's not chargeable
 
The testimony of the tailor completely unraveled because his attorney had no vested interest in winning the case...

...but then again, finding a competent attorney is like finding a needle in a haystack because they are usually out of pocket when you need them most.

Justice can be sew unfair at times.
 
The testimony of the tailor completely unraveled because his attorney had no vested interest in winning the case...

...but then again, finding a competent attorney is like finding a needle in a haystack because they are usually out of pocket when you need them most.

Justice can be sew unfair at times.

I usually pick the lawyer with the nice threads. :D
 
Back
Top