Puns

[done_got_old]

What a dreadful night. I dreamed something bit me on the neck...

I even got up to check, but the mirror's not working!?

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/68983183_2603255596371560_5027165615450750976_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_eui2=AeHD8fsvQvIOv60qLeZi2KBc90pk7DThSXlBNLykYdoBOru3l7qDQBYNND76Yqk9nBbMpw3KmTDTS2sKQ-nVkj4QXqXAlDFXMEABGbBXwGh0mQ&_nc_oc=AQm43NULtY1nz3DbZsevkaPJ_J7hw5xC-iMmseclud0Mf-mfZx0jCBEaRTuRVfoQb_cZ2pKB7VkX_HlHS5zFdhuF&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=a142f86191148baf66a5e88ffc2591f8&oe=5E080028

 

[mnbreastluver]

Why did the mermaid start wearing seashells?
Because she outgrew her B shells.

 

[done_got_old]

Here’s a pun for all the mind readers . . .

 

[Ask For More]

Being struck by lighting can be a shocking experience.

 

[done_got_old]

Come to Wisconsin and smell our fresh dairy air!

 

[mnbreastluver]

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.

 

[Polranny]

If you were to wake up and find the grass in your yard had been stolen would you look forlorn.?

 

[done_got_old]

If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel.

 

[mnbreastluver]

A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "sorry we don't serve food here."

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/70279886_10220387398339189_7918361170451365888_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&_nc_eui2=AeFemzZaE4gcSRjUbO_UDRBmE-IZFgT-zHNGZPkk5pfMlMZtKt2B8MvlND9gH3ngqLUhf61keklPm5AAVNHJmfpNCAgJCiDfF_mxBlvUxNxhSQ&_nc_oc=AQl5XRw1U3xIfcWMO-hHQzTxvMZ_vMM2njOaIRASDu45q1UxI2G9ZE1DwEbWnFhbH6y16Bh2SnPkoeKyeYwmlLS9&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=6ff5eddf173d184c9fe0b61abab555e1&oe=5DF88D43

 

[mnbreastluver]

So there was pirate who was walking around wearing a paper towel for a hat.
I asked him, "What's with the paper towel?"
And he replied, "Arh, I got a Bounty on me head."

 

[done_got_old]

The barman named his cocktails Elijah, Ezekiel and Obadiah and spent most nights drinking the prophets.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If someone dies and is put into a hearse, but wasn't really dead so gets out of the hearse, but finally dies for real and gets put back into the hearse, both the first and second time was the rehearsal.

 

[done_got_old]

What do you call a deer with only one eye? Either a good eye deer or a bad eye deer

 

[done_got_old]

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/42131209_2373090412706818_5845682542644035584_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_eui2=AeHFkAQgiV7uWj6-qH8_dkP1PKadgf9wD-UW2SMrqjqxaNfQc33epcBzlEYBW1oFzNFHo9HXwt7eW5ReiKRLfD_NKuPmTJfyUDhGVhlO-cjt2A&_nc_oc=AQlKmP6cfKtcyL54Q4DklJLT8qsQRe9uxbgp9xtsuPj1XCkUhYzYW49fk-EvnDEDoQc&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=d95d86247a603967cb344da48bec8c5c&oe=5DFDA95F

 

[done_got_old]

I'm reading a horror story by braille. Something bad is about to happen,
I can just feel it

 

[done_got_old]

Studies have shown that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them.

It's a case of in one ear and out the udder.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

I left the road transport industry because it felt like a dead-end job.

 

[Eisranac]

If I had a nickel for every bread pun, I'd have a pun per nickel.

At yeast you have a rye sense of humor.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-dfw5-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/70274525_2481904272021117_6726321928346271744_n.png?_nc_cat=100&_nc_oc=AQkI9FAjCmhMZUUr_5fZUhVWcWDeQA9491ndfo8frMMKbQs1MPNgOTZcS-bhB9qfwCo&_nc_ht=scontent-dfw5-1.xx&oh=f9d01235a818749e0bb50fc1c4d977ca&oe=5DFA93B1

 

[done_got_old]

The mime's farewell was a silent occasion, but I guess that goes without saying.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/70767364_2388725484581803_1859975672462573568_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_oc=AQnXplzUiSZfVNM2OIg64cO-eJc7THosjuy9fuqsQeln83cziUXWYNKmmaQsebrRtkcnd5xRrjaCIpYp88EK4e7f&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=bd10569cb950ac33ff8ec9eed849d67a&oe=5DF9F95A

 

[Eisranac]

The mime's farewell was a silent occasion, but I guess that goes without saying.

I am speechless...

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/70767364_2388725484581803_1859975672462573568_n.jpg?_nc_cat=107&_nc_oc=AQnXplzUiSZfVNM2OIg64cO-eJc7THosjuy9fuqsQeln83cziUXWYNKmmaQsebrRtkcnd5xRrjaCIpYp88EK4e7f&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=bd10569cb950ac33ff8ec9eed849d67a&oe=5DF9F95A

...because you have been on a roll.