Puns

[done_got_old]

His beard is so thick, when he eats food he mustache some of it away for later.

 

[LanguageOfLove]

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

 

[Ask For More]

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

That's the third time this pun has appeared in this space-time....

 

[done_got_old]

That's the third time this pun has appeared in this space-time....

I think I posted it last week!

 

[LanguageOfLove]

I think I posted it last week!

Oops, Sorry...but

They say we learn from our mistakes, that's why I'm making so many, soon I'll be a genius.

 

[done_got_old]

Oops, Sorry...but

They say we learn from our mistakes, that's why I'm making so many, soon I'll be a genius.

You need not apologize. I'm sure there are people who didn't see the earlier posts. Perhaps there's someone like me - who didn't get it the first time.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

Real Pun

So, I'm at the dentist today.
Modern dentistry is awesome. As part of the procedure I was having done, they scanned my whole jaw and then used a 3d printer to print it out. (The crown was then machined separately, but they could then check it on the model).
The assistant was holding it and looking at it, and kind of showing it to me (I love technology and stuff). She dropped it.

That was jaw dropping.

(And I said it right at the time!!!!)

 

[done_got_old]

At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, "Are you two an item?"

 

[done_got_old]

When a shipment of large fruit was delivered by boat to the warehouse, it was the first water mailin'.

 

[done_got_old]

Successful pianists know the key to success.

 

[done_got_old]

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

[done_got_old]

http://i468.photobucket.com/albums/rr47/done-got-old/pun1_zpsqhij3own.png

 

[done_got_old]

At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

 

[lakesailer_mi]

My friend when to a resort on the Mediteranian in France with his brother's daughter and had a good time.

That's right, he had a nice trip to Nice with his Niece.

 

[done_got_old]

A blue ship crashed with a red ship. The survivors were marooned.

 

[Ask For More]

https://68.media.tumblr.com/64ea68ad9fb160893a9e296d586253b4/tumblr_orqwvp55ff1vpsullo1_500.jpg

 

[LanguageOfLove]

How do you make an octopus laugh?

With tentickles.

 

[done_got_old]

The leopard tried creeping up on the tigers using its camouflage but it was spotted.

 

[Ask For More]

What do you call a group of musical killer whales?

An orca-stra

 

[done_got_old]

I may not have been chaste but I've never been caught.

 

[DarkSimian]

Rick Astley will loan you any of his Pixar movies, but he's never gonna give you Up.

 

[done_got_old]

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

 

[done_got_old]

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

 

[done_got_old]

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

[Ask For More]

What game do you play on the toilet?

Call of Duty