Puns

[done_got_old]

What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck

 

[Ask For More]

An octopus robbed a bank this morning. He didn't have a gun, but he was well armed.

 

[done_got_old]

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

 

[done_got_old]

With everything you read about spray cans and the ozone layer it's enough to scareosol to death!

 

[done_got_old]

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 

[Ask For More]

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Did he decide on a resolution for development?

 

[Bjerget]

I bought an HP printer the other day. The ink is a bit runny, but tastes great on a pickle sandwich.

 

[done_got_old]

Men, if you went on a cruise ship during your summer vacation and you met a woman and fell in love, here's some advice my wise old Uncle Waldo once told me:
"There's a 50/50 chance that someday you'll wind up very she sick."

 

[lakesailer_mi]

You can't tell a shoplifter jokes that involve puns. They take everything literally.

 

[done_got_old]

We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

 

[done_got_old]

I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

 

[Ask For More]

How does a Japanese chihuahua say hello?

Konichihuahua

 

[done_got_old]

Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity.

 

[done_got_old]

There was a man in Florida who raised "sea cows" or manatees.

He soon had so many of them that he stopped giving them names and just assigned them letters of the alphabet. A, B, C, etc. He let them all swim free in the lagoon beside his house. Except for "U", which he kept in a special pen.

I guess he was afraid of losing his "u" manatee.

 

[done_got_old]

Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit.

 

[LanguageOfLove]

The boy says: Its cold in her

The father says: go sit in the corner

Boy: why?

Father: Its 90 degrees in the corner

(Saw that today)

I love puns!

 

[LanguageOfLove]

History

History


I just rewrote history

Saw that one as well...hehe

 

[done_got_old]

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

 

[done_got_old]

Hospitals are I.V. league institutions.

 

[Adder4321]

How do you tell the sex of an ant?

You put the ant in water. If it sinks it's a girl ant, if it floats it's a boy ant.

 

[done_got_old]

Male deer have buck teeth.

 

[Ask For More]

BNAG!

That's bang out of order.

 

[done_got_old]

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

 

[done_got_old]

http://raysretreat.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83452cf9769e2016760f99197970b-pi

 

[backformorefun]

per request...

How do you make a hormone?
Punch her in the stomach!