Puns

[done_got_old]

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

[L8tnIt]

Her pussy felt so phenominal that I just cunt believe how hard I just came!

 

[done_got_old]

What is the religion of a woman who had a sex-change operation. A HeThen

 

[Ask For More]

What do you call a dinosaur with a large vocabulary?

A Thesaurus.

 

[done_got_old]

I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way

 

[done_got_old]

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

 

[done_got_old]

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

 

[Ask For More]

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

You should return it and ask for the instructions.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

I found out my wife was dislexic when I opened my birthday present. It was a gelatinous mass with a name tag that said "Joe"...

 

[done_got_old]

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

 

[Ask For More]

https://68.media.tumblr.com/caeffce0a63009de565c8d2a90f0c01f/tumblr_or37up3ezY1s9q5lao1_1280.jpg

 

[Ask For More]

I'm competing in a stair climbing contest soon. I need to step up my game.

 

[done_got_old]

Some Spanish government employees are Seville servants.

 

[Ask For More]

A comedian told a joke and was killed immediately by his audience. It was a killer pun.

 

[done_got_old]

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

You can't run through a campground you can only ran. Because it's past tents...

 

[done_got_old]

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

[done_got_old]

http://i468.photobucket.com/albums/rr47/done-got-old/arkhives_zpseft93w1x.png

 

[Ask For More]

Count the puns in this one....

What do you call a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs?

The Bikings

 

[done_got_old]

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

 

[bigcpl4fun]

Florenz Ziegfeld was a very fashionable dresser. A man was so taken with him that he pestered and pestered him about getting an outfit just like his. Finally, Ziegfeld was at his wits end, so he gave the man one of his suits.

The moral of the story is nattery will get you Flo wear...

 

[done_got_old]

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

[done_got_old]

A man with a wooden leg wanted to buy fire insurance for his leg. The first actuary quoted an annual premium of $500, estimating that the leg would burn once in 20 years and the value of the leg is $5,000. The second actuary quoted an annual premium of $50. When the second actuary was asked how he arrived at such a small figure, he replied, "This situation is right here in the fire schedule rating table.

The object is a wooden structure with an upper sprinkler, isn't it?"

 

[done_got_old]

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

[Ask For More]

I like eating a bun with ham, cheese, and pineapple.

It's just Hawaii roll.