Public Toilets

[Ramone45]

Whenever i've been in someone's home, I've found the bathroom to be immaculate. Many times I think it is cleaner and neater than my own bathroom. I don't think I've ever been in someone's private bathroom where there was anything objectionable.
Then why is it that public toilets are so disgusting?
They are not accidentally disgusting. It's as if the users are intentionally trying to make it gross.
I don't understand how people could be so neat at home and so dirty in public.
I'm the opposite. I try to be neater in public facilities, but most are so revolting that i avoid them as best I can.
There's no excuse for it. And, it's universal;even in establishments where you would think the clientele would have good habits and you know their bathrooms at home are pristine.
I don't get it.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

straight onto the tracks: click

 

[Squibbs]

I've heard its where sean scores most of his dates from.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

i never use public bathroom, yuk.

 

[shewantsmore]

what if you had no choice and had too then

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

what if you had no choice and had too then

i can wait, sheeiiit... fuck the bullshit, i aint trying to sit on no dirty 1081218 time ass seats lmfao

 

[MatthewVett]

People always avoid responsibility whenever they have the chance. Public toilets are everyone's, so they're no one's problems. I never see trash on people's floors, but when I go to a public road, people feel comfortable littering or throwing cigarette butts out the window. It's human nature.

 

[LiFeNdEaTh]

i rather do this than use the public bathroom.

 

[Aquagal]

Am I gonna have to post the Trainspotting clip again? We did this last month.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

i rather do this than use the public bathroom.

You may change your mind about that if you should ever have an irresistible urge to "go" at the same moment you just happen to be in this slightly vulnerable position.

 

[goofygus42]

This is the funniest story about a public toilet.

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers"(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt ) is handy, but empty.

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless(Sister I should have gone to the gym!!! ) thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold” The Stance".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time ).That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.
The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because You never laid down toilet paper -not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get".
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too
At this point, you give up.. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.

You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket! And then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.(Where was that when you NEEDED it?? ) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly,” Here, you just might need this".

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" ...........

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!! ). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!

 

[MNGuy]

I like them, nice echo effect for farts.

 

[CandiCame]

Huh. I'd always heard that the girls are less gross. Which is weird. Because they bleed and shit.

 

[renard_ruse]

I work with a lot of Asiatics, they seem to pee on the floor rather than in the urinals.

I hope that doesn't sound racist.

 

[CandiCame]

You may change your mind about that if you should ever have an irresistible urge to "go" at the same moment you just happen to be in this slightly vulnerable position.

Bullshit. It would be awesome to piss from there.

...I've never tried to piss upside down.

 

[thør]

I like them, nice echo effect for farts.

Elevators?

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Bullshit. It would be awesome to piss from there.

...I've never tried to piss upside down.

That was kind of my point. The "awesomeness" tends to get lost when the urine starts to trickle into your collar.

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

Huh. I'd always heard that the girls are less gross. Which is weird. Because they bleed and shit.

My hubby has worked in a variety of fine restaurants and he has always said that the ladies room was always worse than the mens for mess. I never agreed with him until I worked a wedding with him. I went to the loo and found that the toilet paper had run out so women had been using paper towels. One toilet was blocked with paper towel, the other cubicle they had dumped the used paper towel on the floor. There had been an abundance of loo paper in there before the wedding, I don't know how they used it all and I don't know why no one asked for more.

 

[Noor]

This is the funniest story about a public toilet.

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place.
Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.

Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants!
The dispenser for the modern "seat covers"(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt ) is handy, but empty.

You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR! ), yank down your pants, and assume " The Stance."

In this position your aging, toneless(Sister I should have gone to the gym!!! ) thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold” The Stance".

To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!” Your thighs shake more.

You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday -the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time ).That will have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work.
The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT.

It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because You never laid down toilet paper -not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get".
By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes.
The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too
At this point, you give up.. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat.

You're e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket! And then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, .....so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting.

You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe.(Where was that when you NEEDED it?? ) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly,” Here, you just might need this".

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?" ...........

This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!! ). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It’s so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse, and hand you Kleenex under the door!

http://www.go-girl.com/

 

[warrior queen]

My hubby has worked in a variety of fine restaurants and he has always said that the ladies room was always worse than the mens for mess. I never agreed with him until I worked a wedding with him. I went to the loo and found that the toilet paper had run out so women had been using paper towels. One toilet was blocked with paper towel, the other cubicle they had dumped the used paper towel on the floor. There had been an abundance of loo paper in there before the wedding, I don't know how they used it all and I don't know why no one asked for more.

In a fine reataurant, I'm not sure why the toilets weren't checked regularly by staff?

 

[MissMaidenMinx]

In a fine reataurant, I'm not sure why the toilets weren't checked regularly by staff?

We were short staffed. 2 on the floor, 2 in the kitchen. It was a shit day. Though, we got highly complimented by every one.
Oh, there was lipstick on the mirror too. Apparently the bride and her bridesmaids thought it necessary to kiss their reflections.

 

[tactful]

When you gotta go, you gotta go, been there done that, very cautiously, I might add, or, subtract, if you will.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Porta toilets are the absolute worst, especially on jobsites, where plumbing just doesn't exist yet. I saw one once where the guy must have just squatted on it to spray his runny shits all over it, rendering it totally unsittable and barely usable for peeing.


The girls can make bathroom messes, too. I was at this lesbian bar where both rest rooms were unisex, and each was as bad as any mens room I have ever visited.


I have always thought "rest room" a stupid term - that's the last place I want to be when I'm tired.