Problems with orgasms.
- Thread starter ShyNymph
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muskokan
The Cat Came Back
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It sounds like that really sucks for you, here's my in put (if you care)
I generally have two different types of orgasm, clitoral and then the gspot orgasm, gspot orgasm rocks my world but is pretty hard to obtain for me. I have to be on top and have other stimulations as well. after one of those i'm completely done, it's like all the fireworks went off and theirs nothing left.
I can have multiple clitoral orgasms though.. they still feel really good and can string me along until i'm just too sensitive to be touched anymore (though that wouldn't mean I was satisfied) when I masturbate (with a vibe) I can get myself to a really strong clit orgasm where I can't handle anymore after that but that is at a pretty high setting on my toy and never happens in any other situation.
If i get myself off too much sex with my hubby does tend to go down in the quality I get from it but if I give myself a break my body will regain it's sensitivity to the lesser stimulation.
I get less out of certain things now than I did 2 years ago when I met my husband but we've found things that seem to never fail (such as cowgirl) I think that there is probably an upper limit to what it would take to get someone off but where that is for each individual person I have no idea.,
I generally have two different types of orgasm, clitoral and then the gspot orgasm, gspot orgasm rocks my world but is pretty hard to obtain for me. I have to be on top and have other stimulations as well. after one of those i'm completely done, it's like all the fireworks went off and theirs nothing left.
I can have multiple clitoral orgasms though.. they still feel really good and can string me along until i'm just too sensitive to be touched anymore (though that wouldn't mean I was satisfied) when I masturbate (with a vibe) I can get myself to a really strong clit orgasm where I can't handle anymore after that but that is at a pretty high setting on my toy and never happens in any other situation.
If i get myself off too much sex with my hubby does tend to go down in the quality I get from it but if I give myself a break my body will regain it's sensitivity to the lesser stimulation.
I get less out of certain things now than I did 2 years ago when I met my husband but we've found things that seem to never fail (such as cowgirl) I think that there is probably an upper limit to what it would take to get someone off but where that is for each individual person I have no idea.,
chicagofun01
Experienced
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I think you just have to try and go back to when the relationship was still in its infancy. Remember when you could cum with a simple touch of the hand? If it wasn't about the technique back then, it shouldn't be an issue now.
Like you say, it's probably all in your mind; the insecurities getting in the way. Maybe you could shift your focus onto the passion/erotic portion of the act to invite the orgasm.
Like you say, it's probably all in your mind; the insecurities getting in the way. Maybe you could shift your focus onto the passion/erotic portion of the act to invite the orgasm.
phil196662
Really Really Experienced
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From a man's point of view, could you be rushing into sex without a relaxing warm-up. if your stressed it just won't happen and last and when your in the middle and are about to cum, just pause for a moment and instead of rushing down the road and ending quickly you increase the focous on the moment getting other area's of your body involved. most of the time this prolonges the moment and when the right spot is pinched/caressed you might find a second or thrird orgasm coming around the bend.
Also some woman get real wet below and sometimes a quick wipe increases the sensitivity.
hope this helps - phil
Also some woman get real wet below and sometimes a quick wipe increases the sensitivity.
hope this helps - phil
M's girl
Leaving
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It's getting better again but you described what happened to me to the tee!
The only thing is... I don't know what happened at the time either! So I can't really help you here. I only sense this happens a lot. Might have been a mind-thing with me, although I always thought it was NOT.
The only thing is... I don't know what happened at the time either! So I can't really help you here. I only sense this happens a lot. Might have been a mind-thing with me, although I always thought it was NOT.
lilwetone
Really Experienced
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I am also a youth masterbator....Dont let my nick fool you...but I have that same problem when im stressed out...
My advice would be .... take sometime out of your busy schedule and breathe.... try a long bubble bath (candles, glass of wine, soft music)...and concentrate on your breathing, clear your mind off all negativity.......just relax and listen to the music......By the time your done all personal matters will go down the drain....
Then start out slow...maybe watch a romantic/pornographic movie....or just continue to listen to the music.....keep tabs on how your feeling at that moment....
just before you fall asleep.....if you feel the need to masterbate......by all means do it......
Good Luck Sweety
My advice would be .... take sometime out of your busy schedule and breathe.... try a long bubble bath (candles, glass of wine, soft music)...and concentrate on your breathing, clear your mind off all negativity.......just relax and listen to the music......By the time your done all personal matters will go down the drain....
Then start out slow...maybe watch a romantic/pornographic movie....or just continue to listen to the music.....keep tabs on how your feeling at that moment....
just before you fall asleep.....if you feel the need to masterbate......by all means do it......
Good Luck Sweety
phil196662
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ShyNymph said:
remember you can allways have foreplay all day while you are shopping, totching butts or stealing stomach or breast feels only to climax when you walk in the door ripping off eachothers clothes!
id say take a little break or slow the amount down a little if your doing it every day knock it down to say once every few days or even a week see what happens. also as some people said obove mabie work on the forplay and other things 1st and get your mind right into it 
SweetErika
Fingers Crossed
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If you're worried about having trouble, you'll have trouble. I know this from personal experience.
You're going to have to stop worrying. Now I don't know about you, but I can't just do that by sheer will. What DOES work is engaging my mind so the distracting/problematic thoughts can't get in. Reading and recalling great scenes from a hot story works for me, as does simple fantasizing. I used to think it was terrible to think anything other than my partner during sex, but have come to understand it's just a healthy way to block the problematic thoughts out. Roleplaying, him pushing my kink buttons, and combinations of these things work as well.
Honestly, anything that works for you (and him, of course...I wouldn't advise something like cheating to make him jealous or give you a thrill ) is perfect. And, even if some things don't work, you'll have had a hell of a lot of fun trying, right? 
I also agree with newness likely being an issue. You can get some of that back by re-connecting with the time when you were first dating. Go out on dates. Make out. Maybe turn each other on, then wait until the next date (even if it's just watching a movie at home) to have more involved foreplay or sex. Remind yourself of the things he did when you first dated. And, YES, keep trying new things! That's not going to be a dangerous road; it's something every healthy long-term couple does.
You're going to have to stop worrying. Now I don't know about you, but I can't just do that by sheer will. What DOES work is engaging my mind so the distracting/problematic thoughts can't get in. Reading and recalling great scenes from a hot story works for me, as does simple fantasizing. I used to think it was terrible to think anything other than my partner during sex, but have come to understand it's just a healthy way to block the problematic thoughts out. Roleplaying, him pushing my kink buttons, and combinations of these things work as well.
Honestly, anything that works for you (and him, of course...I wouldn't advise something like cheating to make him jealous or give you a thrill
) is perfect. And, even if some things don't work, you'll have had a hell of a lot of fun trying, right? I also agree with newness likely being an issue. You can get some of that back by re-connecting with the time when you were first dating. Go out on dates. Make out. Maybe turn each other on, then wait until the next date (even if it's just watching a movie at home) to have more involved foreplay or sex. Remind yourself of the things he did when you first dated. And, YES, keep trying new things! That's not going to be a dangerous road; it's something every healthy long-term couple does.
LadyJeanne
deluded
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I really don't understand this. You have orgasms via clit stim, so what's not to like. Isn't the best way to come the way you are actually capable of coming?
There is no better or best orgasm, and stressing out about it can make it really hard to have any kind of O. I agree with those who have said to relax about the whole thing and just have fun playing together. That's what it's all about, isn't it?
Humm...ShyNymph, I am wondering if the way your orgasms have changed is a little way that your orgasms are trying to lead you into into an expanded range and way of being sexual? Perhaps into a more lauguid, full body, sultry, sensual, subtile and less "focused" eroticism? I say this because the word "quick" stands out to me in your post.
People have mentioned slowing down, taking a break, fantasizing, increasing foreplay, and sensious relaxing pleasures like bubble baths, candles etc... all of these things can change your "pattern" of being sexual... perhaps now that the newness of your relationship has waned, and being the sexual creature that you are, the pattern that worked before is now very well known, perhaps too well known?
So, perhaps forgetting for the moment about orgasm, and being in the moment with your senses... may do the trick. And maybe while playing on that path, you might just be surprised by what you g-spot has planned for you.
Imagine you and your partner indulging with each other, eating each other up with your eyes. Relaxed. No hurry. Hearing each other breathing together, whispering words of hot passion, or words so dirty, naughty, primally arousing. Lazy and sinious. Building anticipation and desire as you revel in each others touchs and textures, feeling how the muscles in his back ripple or the hardness of his cock in your hand makes your nipples and clit tingle. Who knows? You might feel your orgasm sneaking up on you...but don't let it. Not yet. No... this moment is for inhaling the scent of jasmine floading by... or feeling, the cool, soft air currents licking at you as he buries his head between your thighs to suckle on the river of wet desire that flows from you, as you feel every tiny, coaxing sensation as he drinks your scent into him. You feel him loveingly prepareing you don't you? You can feel him making you ready to feel every sensation when the moment comes for him to thrust the pleasure you make burn in him into the yearning grip of yours...can't you? But why cum now? You have so many moments...splended, exqusite moments... moment after moment.
Orgasm is not the end all be all... it is the sign above the window that lures you in the door...
I invite you to consider that what is happening may not be a problem, it may be an internal message. What is the message? Could be your sexuality is wanting you to grow... or play. Perhaps some undiscovered part of you feels like poor orgasm is having to to take all the sexual load and wants the other parts of your mind/body to have some fun too! Also, I invite you to consider that you may not have to so actively seek after your orgasms...you can shyly and seductivly entice them... to seek after you!
People have mentioned slowing down, taking a break, fantasizing, increasing foreplay, and sensious relaxing pleasures like bubble baths, candles etc... all of these things can change your "pattern" of being sexual... perhaps now that the newness of your relationship has waned, and being the sexual creature that you are, the pattern that worked before is now very well known, perhaps too well known?
So, perhaps forgetting for the moment about orgasm, and being in the moment with your senses... may do the trick. And maybe while playing on that path, you might just be surprised by what you g-spot has planned for you.
Imagine you and your partner indulging with each other, eating each other up with your eyes. Relaxed. No hurry. Hearing each other breathing together, whispering words of hot passion, or words so dirty, naughty, primally arousing. Lazy and sinious. Building anticipation and desire as you revel in each others touchs and textures, feeling how the muscles in his back ripple or the hardness of his cock in your hand makes your nipples and clit tingle. Who knows? You might feel your orgasm sneaking up on you...but don't let it. Not yet. No... this moment is for inhaling the scent of jasmine floading by... or feeling, the cool, soft air currents licking at you as he buries his head between your thighs to suckle on the river of wet desire that flows from you, as you feel every tiny, coaxing sensation as he drinks your scent into him. You feel him loveingly prepareing you don't you? You can feel him making you ready to feel every sensation when the moment comes for him to thrust the pleasure you make burn in him into the yearning grip of yours...can't you? But why cum now? You have so many moments...splended, exqusite moments... moment after moment.
Orgasm is not the end all be all... it is the sign above the window that lures you in the door...
I invite you to consider that what is happening may not be a problem, it may be an internal message. What is the message? Could be your sexuality is wanting you to grow... or play. Perhaps some undiscovered part of you feels like poor orgasm is having to to take all the sexual load and wants the other parts of your mind/body to have some fun too! Also, I invite you to consider that you may not have to so actively seek after your orgasms...you can shyly and seductivly entice them... to seek after you!
