Premarital sex.......

[Nomadic Lady]

........does anyone regret it? Can not imagine marrying someone before finding out if their sexualy compatable.

My two sister's both regret waiting till they got married.

 

[bknight2602]

........does anyone regret it? Can not imagine marrying someone before finding out if their sexualy compatable.

My two sister's both regret waiting till they got married.

Alas I only regret to not doing it enough, might have prevented problems that occurred later!

 

[brokenbrainwave]

in one sense it is comendable, there is a certain charm to a couple that saved themselves until they were committed completely. Especially if they have a wonderful lifetime together. It is however, not very realistic. The person that as a teenager I thought I would be with forever turned out to be a bitter, cold woman. Thankfully I found out before it was too late. Too bad her three ex hubbies did not.

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

in one sense it is comendable, there is a certain charm to a couple that saved themselves until they were committed completely. Especially if they have a wonderful lifetime together. It is however, not very realistic. The person that as a teenager I thought I would be with forever turned out to be a bitter, cold woman. Thankfully I found out before it was too late. Too bad her three ex hubbies did not.

By charm, do you mean quaint and anachronistic?

 

[svenmn]

........does anyone regret it? Can not imagine marrying someone before finding out if their sexualy compatable.

My two sister's both regret waiting till they got married.

No regrets we have been togather 20 years and are still young yet.

 

[brokenbrainwave]

By charm, do you mean quaint and anachronistic?

not at all. I mean there is nothing at all wrong with a couple spending a lifetime being physical with only each other. It rarely happens, but to see an older man paying complete attention to the only person he has ever loved in the physical sense is really nice.

 

[WhatsHerName]

nope I don't regret it. There are things in my life that I regret but sharing myself with the man that I love is not one of them.

I do however find it very commendable for those who do choose that route.

 

[Nomadic Lady]

hmmmm...a few of the answers leads me to another question, how are you able to stay with the same person for such a long time (say over five or six years)? Does it not get monotonous after some time? There has been only one relationship that lasted over eight years, and the reason it lasted even that long, I believe, is because we had agreed to see other people. God, I miss him.

 

[peachykeen]

Monotonous? only for the uinimaginative...I could fuck my husband every day for the rest of my natural life. Oooh, I think I will!

 

[mritsme]

hmmmm...a few of the answers leads me to another question, how are you able to stay with the same person for such a long time (say over five or six years)? Does it not get monotonous after some time? There has been only one relationship that lasted over eight years, and the reason it lasted even that long, I believe, is because we had agreed to see other people. God, I miss him.

well im sure it could if you let it, the wife and i go through stages of different things that turn us on wether it be talking about future fantasies or doing things now that we do not do on a daily basis we have a great love making life aside from how much we love each other, the point is to try new things together, and like with seeing other people while together that is a touchy one i love my wife and i or we at some point have talked about trying threesomes both ways and she has on numerous occasions has told me i could go sleep with anyone i want but she refuses to do it, i am a big flirt especaily on lit never came across anyone in life that i would just go sleep with, and i would not unless it was something she wanted to do first it has to be equal we live once and should do all w can to fulfill our lives and part of my fullfillment is to make sure i do everything possible to make sure my wife is pleasured fully and will do what ever it takes to do so. and if she ever schoses to go out for other action it is fine as long as were equal and open about it and on the same page. but i have realized im rambling and almost forgot subject sorry lol

 

[Nomadic Lady]

Peachykeen you said: Monotonous? only for the uinimaginative...I could fuck my husband every day for the rest of my natural life. Oooh, I think I will!

Don't get me wrong, I think it is great if one is able to be with the same person for the rest of their lives.

Oh, I hope I do have a great imagination.

And it is not just about sex necessarily but does not one run out of things to say after a certain time? But then again it may be because I'm scared of commitment

 

[APhil]

I don't regret it one bit. Having sex allowed me to understand what my ex was like before we got married. She wanted me to do things I didn't like, and she didn't like that I didn't like what she liked. So I knew then that marriage was not in the future.

 

[freescorfr]

What astonishes me is that anyone can get married without having sex first. It's such an essential part of relating as a couple.

My theory is that in pre-internet days, before people could explore each other in depth without ever physically meeting, while screwing their hearts out online, the elders decided to pre-empt cyber-romance with a no pre-marital sex ploy.

I hope you follow the logic, Nomadic. I was a vagabond until last Sunday.

 

[Angelofsex]

I do regret it, not having sex before marriage. Maybe then I would have known more about my S/O before I married him.

As to staying with him for so long, well the child.....and I did leave when she was younger but had to go back because of a crying child......Well the child is going to be 21......who know what the furture holds.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I regret it because I got my girlfriend pregnant, we got married and then divorced. This set in motion all kinds of bad things, the consequences of which I am still paying for almost 30 years later. Yeah pregnancy does not have to follow premarital sex, but in my case it did.

That said, I actually wish I had engaged in more sex with other partners before I got married. If a person takes precautions, such as birth control and protection against STDs, then having sex before marriage is okay, and in some cases beneficial.

However, I have to wonder about people who say they want to know if they are sexually compatible with someone before marrying them. Many people only have sex with someone they are already in love with, and would not then break up with someone just because the sex is less than stellar. So what's the point?

I am of course speaking of young adults who are not that experienced with sex. As an adult experienced with sex, and knowing what you like and don't like, then yeah, having sex before marriage is maybe a good idea to see if you are compatible - but as a young adult or teenager, you may not know enough about yourself sexually to know whether you are sexually compatible or not. Sex is not and never has been a no risk thing where you try on someone like a pair of pants or test driving a car.

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

Yeah pregnancy does not have to follow premarital sex, but in my case it did.

AMEN!!

Now for the question: Yeah, I did the premarital sex thing. We were compatible... it just got better and better. The sex thing before marriage was a good thing for me. I don't regret any of it.

 

[hogjack]

I'm all for premarital sex...

Anyone getting married soon - just give me a call!

We'll get it over with and you can relax and focus on the proceedings.

 

[Guest]

 

[RosevilleCAguy]

not at all. I mean there is nothing at all wrong with a couple spending a lifetime being physical with only each other. It rarely happens, but to see an older man paying complete attention to the only person he has ever loved in the physical sense is really nice.

My comment was directed towards the concept of no premarital sex. I believe that the inordinate premium placed on virginity may be right for some people, but really cannot find any societal basis of justification for it.

I also see it as still being somewhat biased as the value seems to be higher on femal rather than male virginity.