LITEROTICA PODCAST
LIT CAMS (200 Free Tokens)ADULT TOYSVOD MOVIES

Post-Stalker Wanted:

I

IhateClowns

Censored
Joined
Feb 7, 2010
Posts
25,386
I have determined that I am in need of a post stalker. So i am offering the job to anyone who wants to apply. Please realize I don't need to you to correct my spelling mistakes or give your 2 cents to what I post. I would just like you to read my posts everyday.

Now this is a high profile job. There are requirements needed to be considered for this position. First off you need to have breasts and a vagina. That is very important to me. If you have one but not the other I am not interested. This is a package deal for me.

Second, you are to send me PM's every day praising me for my posts. I don't care if it is 1 post saying your av is a 10 I better receive a PM from you saying that is the best 9 you have ever given out and they totally deserved it. i don't feel it is too much to ask a post stalker to pump my ego on a daily basis. I provide you with terribly spelled posts and sarcasm, the least you can do is let me know how much you appreciate it.

Third, you are to post stalk no one else. You are my post stalker. I don't like to share. I am selfish that way I suppose but I think you can totally understand as to why. I think it devalues your opinion of me if you are sending praise to others and not just myself.

Finally, this will be strictly a confidential arrangement. I have no plans of making you public, because then there might start a bidding war. You will have to sign a confidentiality aggreement, so if I decide to fire you, you canot go to the press who will be clamouring for info about me and give them what they want. I am not a piece of meat and although I will be treating you like one, I will not tolerate being treated that way.

Now I have an application that I would like for each applicant to please fill out and PM back to me before the end of the week. I will be conducting interviews next week and I am sure I will need the weekend to peruse the 1000's of applications that I am undoubtedly going to receive. So i appreciate you following up ina timely manner.

Here is the application:

Name:__________________________________
Measurements: Tits:______ Waist:______ Hips:______
Age:_____
What do you like about me that makes you want to post stalk me_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Are you stalking anyone else at this time:____
If yes then whom and why not me:___________________________
What do you like about me:_____________________
On a scale of 9-10 how hot do you think I am:_________________
Are you critical of spelling_____________
If yes then just fuck off
What do you like about post stalking:______________________________
What makes a poster someone you want to stalk______________________
Have you ever stalked someone in real life____________________________
If yes who and why_______________________________
How much money do you make a year (in case I need some)______________
Are you willing to post stalk me any time of the day__________
If no what hours are not good enough for you to post stalk me_____________
What do you normally wear when you post stalk_____________
Do you diddle when post stalking:__________________
Do you hate clowns:______________
Are you willing to let me watch you on cam post stalk me_____________________________________
How do you trim your va jay jay:_______________________
If ou could have a 3rd nipple where would you put it___________________
If you could post stalk anyone but me who would it be____________________
Why them over me? What makes you think they are better then me_______________________________________
In your own words please explan to me why I should pick you over the 1000's of other women who are craving this position:____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

This is for serious inquiries only. I know I don't have to preface that, but my lawyer is asking me to do so. There will be no compensation for this job, just the realization that you are MY post stalker and will be the envy of 3 people on here. Me, myself and I.
 
Oh and if you have any general questions about this position that others might need an answer to you are more then welcome to post it on here.

Thank you and God Bless your soul to heaven
 
Dear Clowns:

Just one quick question regarding this paragraph:

IhateClowns said:
Now this is a high profile job. There are requirements needed to be considered for this position. First off you need to have breasts and a vagina. That is very important to me. If you have one but not the other I am not interested. This is a package deal for me.
Click to expand...

I'm assuming if I am transitioning to the breasts-and-vagina state that I will not be discriminated against (at least for that reason). Is that correct?

Sincerely,
Soon-to-be-eligibly-yours Litster
 
Ummmm, I see there appears to be a Va-Jay-Jay requirement. On behalf of myself, Northern PA and Ryan Black, I think that question should be stricken on the following grounds:

Sex-Based Discrimination

Sex discrimination involves treating someone (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of that person’s sex.
Sex discrimination also can involve treating someone less favorably because of his or her connection with an organization
or group that is generally associated with people of a certain sex.

As "people of a certain sex" we would like to see this question removed.
 
Husker1987 said:
Ummmm, I see there appears to be a Va-Jay-Jay requirement. On behalf of myself, Northern PA and Ryan Black, I think that question should be stricken on the following grounds:

Sex-Based Discrimination

Sex discrimination involves treating someone (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of that person’s sex.
Sex discrimination also can involve treating someone less favorably because of his or her connection with an organization
or group that is generally associated with people of a certain sex.

As "people of a certain sex" we would like to see this question removed.
Click to expand...


Let's not get hung up on this "people of a certain sex" requirement.

There are people who's sexual typing is not obvious. I think discriminating against them would probably be just as wrong, even if there were a certain amount of good natured ribbing that would just normally follow from that condition.
 
NorthernPA4U said:
Dear Clowns:

Just one quick question regarding this paragraph:



I'm assuming if I am transitioning to the breasts-and-vagina state that I will not be discriminated against (at least for that reason). Is that correct?

Sincerely,
Soon-to-be-eligibly-yours Litster
Click to expand...

Husker1987 said:
Ummmm, I see there appears to be a Va-Jay-Jay requirement. On behalf of myself, Northern PA and Ryan Black, I think that question should be stricken on the following grounds:

Sex-Based Discrimination

Sex discrimination involves treating someone (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of that person’s sex.
Sex discrimination also can involve treating someone less favorably because of his or her connection with an organization
or group that is generally associated with people of a certain sex.

As "people of a certain sex" we would like to see this question removed.
Click to expand...

I am firing my lawyer. He told me to put that in there. As I don't want any lawsuits heading my way I will open the position up to all genders. I am an equal opportunity employer. Please don't hold it against me if I only interview women, post op or not as the idea of you fellas rubbing your junk through your stained underoos while reading my posts is although hot for some, very much cold for others.
 
IhateClowns said:
I am firing my lawyer. He told me to put that in there. As I don't want any lawsuits heading my way I will open the position up to all genders. I am an equal opportunity employer. Please don't hold it against me if I only interview women, post op or not as the idea of you fellas rubbing your junk through your stained underoos while reading my posts is although hot for some, very much cold for others.
Click to expand...


Thankfully, I recall the "Finally, this will be strictly a confidential arrangement. I have no plans of making you public" portion of your original post, and am fully confident that my sincere daily post of amazing love and gratitude will be received by one who finds that hot.

To just show how sincere I am, let me begin with a hint as to what is to come and say that I think, even though it is not showing, that you undoubtedly have one of the finest steering wheel covers ever made in that picture you are using as an AV.

Do you really think anyone can top that?

(Is this too public a forum for such adoration, do you think?)
 
Husker1987 said:
Ummmm, I see there appears to be a Va-Jay-Jay requirement. On behalf of myself, Northern PA and Ryan Black, I think that question should be stricken on the following grounds:

Sex-Based Discrimination

Sex discrimination involves treating someone (an applicant or employee) unfavorably because of that person’s sex.
Sex discrimination also can involve treating someone less favorably because of his or her connection with an organization
or group that is generally associated with people of a certain sex.

As "people of a certain sex" we would like to see this question removed.
Click to expand...

HEEEEY Mister! I thought you already had a job. :confused:






;)
 
My Dearest Clowns:

Thank you for the private message(s) encouraging me to submit my name for consideration.

I appreciate the picture you took of your steering wheel cover. It was everything I had imagined it would be when I made my oh-so-public flattering commentary earlier.

Sadly, I felt a bit betrayed by the Boomer and Sooner bobbleheads that showed up in the picture as mounted on your dashboard directly behind your wheel. Would you be willing to remove those as a condition of my future unemployediness from you?

Thanks ever so much,
Your Eager Switchin-from-Underoos-to something-slightly-less-mounded Litster
 
NorthernPA4U said:
Thankfully, I recall the "Finally, this will be strictly a confidential arrangement. I have no plans of making you public" portion of your original post, and am fully confident that my sincere daily post of amazing love and gratitude will be received by one who finds that hot.

To just show how sincere I am, let me begin with a hint as to what is to come and say that I think, even though it is not showing, that you undoubtedly have one of the finest steering wheel covers ever made in that picture you are using as an AV.

Do you really think anyone can top that?

(Is this too public a forum for such adoration, do you think?)
Click to expand...

:rolleyes::rolleyes: Application withdrawn.....

http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/jko/lowres/jkon228l.jpg
 
NorthernPA4U said:
Thankfully, I recall the "Finally, this will be strictly a confidential arrangement. I have no plans of making you public" portion of your original post, and am fully confident that my sincere daily post of amazing love and gratitude will be received by one who finds that hot.

To just show how sincere I am, let me begin with a hint as to what is to come and say that I think, even though it is not showing, that you undoubtedly have one of the finest steering wheel covers ever made in that picture you are using as an AV.

Do you really think anyone can top that?

(Is this too public a forum for such adoration, do you think?)
Click to expand...

NorthernPA4U said:
My Dearest Clowns:

Thank you for the private message(s) encouraging me to submit my name for consideration.

I appreciate the picture you took of your steering wheel cover. It was everything I had imagined it would be when I made my oh-so-public flattering commentary earlier.

Sadly, I felt a bit betrayed by the Boomer and Sooner bobbleheads that showed up in the picture as mounted on your dashboard directly behind your wheel. Would you be willing to remove those as a condition of my future unemployediness from you?

Thanks ever so much,
Your Eager Switchin-from-Underoos-to something-slightly-less-mounded Litster
Click to expand...

See you already lost the job by even thinking that this Longhorn would EVER have any ou crap in my car. As for my steering wheel cover I apologize it is blurry looking but since I always put protection over it, the damn thing just isn't photographic anymore.

Yes the job is totally confidential. You have a big mouth or aspiring to be a writer you better not put that on the application.
 
Wings27 said:
Well shit. I'm already post stalking...myself.

Too bad.
Click to expand...

You see I got tired of doing just that. Post stalking myself is entertaining at times but I need a fresh pair of tits, I mean eyes to take a read and praise me.
 
You stole my idea and I intend to sue just as soon as I have founf enough spare change for an attorney.
 
I had/have a similar idea to this, but mine was/is more along the lines of looking for a sex slave. *Nods*
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

hombremontana
A secret place, it could be fun with the right people.
Replies
10
Views
302
hombremontana
hombremontana
Domsophie
Mistress seeking a loyal Submissive pet for FLR !!
Replies
20
Views
226
Midnight_Voyager26
Midnight_Voyager26
JackTheStoryteller
I'll tell you a story
Replies
2
Views
127
JackTheStoryteller
JackTheStoryteller
Mixzwendi55
HOTTEST MISTRESS
Replies
5
Views
189
barefootgirl69
barefootgirl69
MissMarie32
Confessions of a catfish
Replies
7
Views
571
AnthonyT0715
A
Back
Top