Porn sites from home

[teresafannin]

I was watching a news show Saturday night & one of the topics got me to thinking. It profiled internet porn sites, voyeur sites, etc. One of the couples profiled runs their live site from their home, with their kids in the next room. I am not any kind of prude, love Literotica & wish I could work from home, but the children being in the house bothered me. I always talked plainly with my son about sex & I know he surfed into some porn sites, what teenager wouldn't, it is the modern equivalent of Dad's Playboy. Is it just me being weird or do others think that the porn business should be run away from a home where there are children? I would be interested in your responses, it had really never occurred to me before about voyeur sites & kids. Thanks

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

My first reaction is to say "yes", but don't married couples fuck in the same house as their kids? Isn't that more "in your face" than the quiet humming of a computer screen?

If the parents treat the porn biz paraphernalia like guns (keep them locked up and out of the kid's reach) I don't see the problem.

 

[Expertise]

I am, as I write this, preparing to duck the heavy objects being hurled my way.

I don't think that children should be around that kind of site. I have no illusions to the fact that just about any kid with half a clue can access porn on the net. But there should be seperation of home and sex site.

I kinda' have always had the impression that Literotica was "home" based. That is in no way a comment on its quality, which is excellent. I just thought that it was. Which raises the question....

Should an Egyptian Tortoise (sp), or worse yet two of them, be brought up along side a sex site.

*ISABELLA!...Get PETA on the horn now!*

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Kids see more screwing on "The Discovering Channel" (usually two tortoises) than they will on a parentally controlled computer. There isn't a couple I know that couldn't keep an at home porn site secret (or at least separate) formt heir kids, because they're good parents.

But there are a lot of idiot parents out there, too. So I suppose it all depends on who's rocking the cradle.

 

[teresafannin]

Thanks for the input. It is amazing what you think about when you can't sleep. I think my other concern is what if, as the kids get older, their friends surf onto the parent's site, how embarrassing would that be for the children. I guess with everything that has happened to me in the last year, I think about weird stuff. I am really glad that I found this site, thanks to everyone, whether you respond or not.

 

[Bliss]

The site I saw featured on 60 Minutes is produced, lights - camera - action, all in this couples home.

For the children not to know what's going on, a steel door that locks with a secret combination would have to be in use. Such is not the case.

To me, this is no better parenting than, say, exposing your children to the members of your drug cartel and their seedy activities.

On the other hand, my dog and Laurel's torts are ignorant cutie pies so Ex gets 3 lashes with a wet noodle. *whap* *whap* *whap*

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

When you say, "running a porn site" I pictured two people doing a lot of typing and scanning some dirty photos which can be easily locked away in a vault. But if there's someone in the next room screaming "We need a cum shot in the ass and we need it now!" while Johnny and Susie are watching "Kratt's Creatures" in the den, oh yeah, I agree with you, not a good idea, maybe even criminal, and I would even be willing to call Social Services on the idiots.

 

[teresafannin]

The program I saw was on MSNBC, I think. The site profiled the most was a live porn/voyeur site. This couple is doing everything via web cams, live & up to the minute, while their children are asleep in the next room. My thought is that if I am going to run a live porn site, I will rent an office or studio & put on the show from there. Not that I would do that, I don't think anyone would pay money to see me in action-lol. Some of these sites make unbelievable amounts of money, I was amazed at the numbers. They can surely afford to pay a babysitter, other working parents do. For those that will say if the show is at night, what harm is there to the kids, what if they wake up needing something, do you lock them out? I guess I am just too much of a mom.

 

[Silverlily]

I'm not sure this really applies, I wouldn't know how to run a porn site, or any other site. But this is how we deal with our sexuality.

We have two computers. One for the children, which has every child protection program I could find and one for the grown ups, which is in a room with a locking door and those same programs, just in case. Any adult activity is done after they are in bed and it is done quietly. Any toys are locked in the same cabinet as the guns. Everyone in my family knocks first, if the children get up, we stop and take care of them.

My daughters are very young, we haven't really gotten past knowing what everything is called and why no one should touch them. Humans are sexual creatures, but exposing children to the details is cruel. They have no way of understanding what they are seeing and no hope of being able to process the emotions involved. It is my job as their mother to protect them from that harm, just like I would protect them from a physical threat. It breaks my heart to see children already hardened to life due to improper exposure.

My biggest hope is that we will be able to maintain a close enough relationship that when the time comes to discuss sex, they will come to me first.

 

[Aranian]

I've never understood the need to shield children from reality. Why is the so-called "birds and bees" such a hush hush topic until the comming of age talk?

Likewise, I don't see a need for the overblown concern that children might stumble on a porno site.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some parts of our enlightened society are still mulling about in the dark ages.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Then you're one of these people who think children are "mini-adults", not developing humans whose emotional, psychological and discretionary maturity is in flux, and cannot be damaged by too soon sexual exposure. Well, they can. Very much so.

 

[Silverlily]

I'm not talking about "birds and bees". That is something we have started talking about to whatever degree my daughters are able to understand. As their understanding grows, so will the conversation.

I do not want them, at the ages of seven and eight, exposed to pictures of anal stretching or barnyard fun. How exactly do you explain to a second grader that some daddies spank some mommies with belts and whips for fun?

 

[teresafannin]

The concern is not that children will stumble onto a porn site, at some point they all will, just like we all sneaked a look at Playboy. Most parents I know give their kids the facts of life as the kids ask questions. My son learned how babies were made when he was 3 & his cousin was born. In this day & age, kids need all the facts to better prepare them for being out in the world. My question was is it a wise idea to run a live porn site from home, with your kids in the next room? I know my son would have been appalled at the thought of his parent's sex life going out over the internet. I do think, however, that children do not need to be exposed to all realities. My son died from a single bullet wound to the head. Does his 8-year old cousin really need to know that? I had a tabloid offer me big bucks for the crime scene pictures that I have not,nor will, ever see.Call me old fashioned, but there are some things I don't want young children to see. Sorry for going off topic, but I have had this on my mind a lot.

[Edited by teresafannin on 09-11-2000 at 12:49 PM]

 

[Thor's Hammer]

I tend to just applaud someone else's original thought without value added. I do want to recommend that people might want to reread Kitten Eyes post of 9/11 (2:25). You hit the mark, Kitten, rationally, practically, and with sensitivity. I have adult children with kids of their own. They take the same kind of precautions. There are just enough scary people about to make all of us care, a little, I hope about all of "our" kids. We "adults" can make decisions for ourselves, but lets not treat kids, as someone so aptly put it, as mini-adults.

 

[Whispersecret]

In my opinion, comparing a Playboy magazine and the average online porn site isn't an accurate comparison. I wouldn't be too upset if my sons got a peek at a Playboy, but I'd be extremely disturbed if I found out they'd been looking at Kara's Sex Playground. I won't go into detail, because I'll end up spending an hour on my reasons and boring the hell out of all of you. I hope the differences between a magazine like Playboy and an online porn site are obvious.

If that couple is running a live-feed porn site in their home with their kids in the same house, I think that's disgusting. Parenting is the most important job there is, and that couple should be fired from their job. I'm sure there are people who will disagree with me, and that's fine, but this whole topic reminds me why I need to make sure I know people before I let my kids play at their homes. Kitten's precautions are admirable, and I'd let my kids play with hers any day.

[Edited by whispersecret on 09-11-2000 at 02:00 PM]

 

[Aranian]

Then you're one of these people who think children are "mini-adults", not developing humans whose emotional, psychological and discretionary maturity is in flux, and cannot be damaged by too soon sexual exposure. Well, they can. Very much so.

From an objective point of view, sex is a physical act between two people for the purpose of procreation. Insert tab A into socket B. The idea of "damaging" children by explaining the facts of life is ludricous. I find it difficult seeing people so obviously blinded to certain issues by society's dated taboos.

People barely blink at headlines like today's "FTC Report Says Hollywood Aims Violence at Kids". What's more, everyone knew it was their marketting strategy for some time. And yet the outraged cry goes out that it's the porn that's "damaging" to children, not glorified violence. Frankly I think the idea of "damaging" children is a myth in itself subjective by what people want to consider an "undamaged" child, but I won't even go into that right now.

 

[Patryn]

Allow me to speak from experience. No one ran a porn site from my house when I was younger, but my mom, an alcoholic, did bring men home frequently as wasn't always the most discreet about what was or had transpired (or worse, WAS transpiring).

What I got out of it was not only a case of the chronic heebie jeebies, but also a very skewed sense of what sex was supposed to be. I knew it wasn't supposed to be like that, at least not ideally or all the time, but I didn't know what it was actually about. I also couldn't figure out why she got so upset when *I* started having sex.

Keep it away from the kids, it's not that hard to do, no matter if it's physical or online. Let them discover it on their own, with your guidance, of course, be open for questions, and everything will more often than not be OK.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

From an objective point of view, sex is a physical act between two people for the purpose of procreation. Insert tab A into socket B. The idea of "damaging" children by explaining the facts of life is ludricous. I find it difficult seeing people so obviously blinded to certain issues by society's dated taboos.

Frankly I think the idea of "damaging" children is a myth in itself subjective by what people want to consider an "undamaged" child, but I won't even go into that right now.

The idea of damaging children is far from a myth and there are mountains of psychological, sociological, and medical data to back it up. So I won't even address that nonsense any further.

Now whether there are any specific studies to support psychological "damage" to children resulting from simple exposure to pornography of from full elucidation of "the facts of life" (and by that I mean, not simply "the birds and the bees" but the whole spectrum of human sexuality from bestiality to BDSM, etc.), I don't know. I suspect not, but this is probably because the vast majority of children placed in such an environment are also undergoing other forms of sexual/emotional/physical abuse at the same time.

As DCL wisely stated, children are not miniature adults. Science is constantly elucidating the process of development of the human brain. We're learning that the brain in childhood is extremely plastic. Environments that nurture the child foster brain development, and traumatic environments have actually been shown to retard growth. What a child is exposed to in his early years can have a profound impact on the rest of his life.

Does inappropriate early expose to "heavy" sexual stimuli cause this retardation in brain development? I don't know. But physical abuse does. Emotional abuse does. Neglect does. And yes... sexual abuse does.

In light of all that, I'm not waiting for a study to tell me I can't tell a six-year old about the glories of fucking. And if I'm your child's physician and learn that you are, expect a call from social services.





[Edited by Oliver Clozoff on 09-11-2000 at 04:40 PM]

 

[Strange Girl]

I hate to sound prudish, I hate prudes, but kid's today are exposed to so much stuff, so early, It's hard to imagine shocking them with anything. Pornography is very much removed from the reality, Pro Wrestling has more truth to it. My ten year-old comes home from a sleepover and says she saw this scary movie on video, I don't pay much concern, the parents in charge seem responsible to me. A week later a 19 year-old tells me about the same movie, It sounds along the order of Silence of the Lambs. I'm horrified to think alot of parents just don't give a shit what they're kids watch. A week later my kid comes up to me and asks if she can go to the neighbors' house and watch "American Pie." I've seen it and I laughed my ass off. My answer was NO! Are you kidding? Does a ten year old need to see some kid fuck a pie, or drink come. Do you think kids are accessing porno sites on the internet? You bet your sweet ass they are. Do you think most parents are concerned with this? They have their SUV's and Nike apparel, all's well.

 

[Aranian]

The idea of damaging children is far from a myth and there are mountains of psychological, sociological, and medical data to back it up. So I won't even address that nonsense any further.

Exactly my point! I couldn't have come up with a better example than that immediate response of, "Nope, there's evidence for that, and mountains of it too somewhere around here." it capture's so much of what I really wanted to explain in my previous post. You hear the phrase "damaging to children" and adopt it without even a thought as to what 'damaging' might refer to. Is there a standard for what a healthy child should think like? I sure as hell hope not. Enough said.

As for the four paragraphs it took to elaborate your only other point, I couldn't agree more. Child abuse is bad.

In light of all that, I'm not waiting for a study to tell me I can't tell a six-year old about the glories of fucking. And if I'm your child's physician and learn that you are, expect a call from social services.

Gee, really? They had a 2 week sex-ed unit in second and fourth grade in my elementary school. It ought to be shut down too.

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Maybe I can explain a little clearer. I merely alluded to the evidence because I didn't think it necessary to present it all to you. What I'm saying is that early exposure to hard-core pornography is child abuse and at least we agree on that. If you want evidence, you got it...

As for your claim that "damaging children" is a nebulous term, I agree with you, but there have been plenty of studies detailing firm evidence of damage to children. Children who are abused and neglected suffer more physical illnesses, more psychiatric disorders, commit more crimes, commit suicide often, find it more difficult to hold down jobs, have higher divorce rates, and abuse their own children at higher rates than children who are not raised in such enviroments. And that's just the sociological data.

Medical studies show these children have cognitive deficits, memory impairments, and speech delay among many other problems. If you look at the brains of these children at autopsy you find fewer neural connections than in a normal child's brain.

And of course there are objective standards for how a child should think. IQ's are standardized. Electroencephalograms have precise determination of normal brain activity. There are dozens more I won't bore you with. The point is there is very real and tangible evidence of damage to children. If you choose to ignore the evidence, it's your own folly.

I will admit that all of this data pertains to emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, as well as neglect, but I'd be willing to wager that these are present in any parent-child relationship in which the parent is chomping at the bit to introduce his child to bestiality.

Child health issues are near and dear to my heart as a medical student and I've witnessed many abused children whose parents and other adults used them as targets for their own frustrations and the objects of their sick fantasies.

There's a lot of sickness in this world.

 

[CW]

whatever happened to parents ?

No prude here, at all. I am not addressing the issue of sex education, which I believe should be started as soon as there is an interest on the childs part. And that the education should be presented at a level that will allow the child to make some sense of it.

NOW, having said that,,, I also will say Whatever happened to parents as role models for their own kids ??!!!?? I am not even considering that the role model should extend to the neighborhood,,, just to their own kids.


Is that facet of child rearing gone the same way as common decency and courtesy in public places. Children are exposed to enough damaging crap in this world at a young age without the potential of having sex for hire force fed to them in their own homes. Yes, yes, I do know that it has happened, does happen, and will continue to do so. I really can't see that this situation is any different though than, say, selling crack on the front porch,,, but, hey !! it's okay cause the blinds are closed. And yes, I know that that happens as well. But just because it happens does not in any way shape or form make it okay.

Hello!!! Social services ??? Would be my first call.

Can I change the world ? Not in this life time. But I can still be pissed off at some the inane things that folks will think nothing of exposing their kids to. Just cause your adult life is screwed up,,, weeeellll why not pass along that screwiness to the kids ? SHEESH !!!!! And when it comes to kids getting screwed up by adults I tend to get pissed off easily,,,

Sheesh, this got me so riled up that I can't even think straight,,, so what else is new!!

Okay, off the soap box now and on to reading more of todays posts.

Peace

 

[Dreamer1]

Gee, really? They had a 2 week sex-ed unit in second and fourth grade in my elementary school. It ought to be shut down too.

You must be joking! You are comparing basic sex education with exposing children to internet porn?

 

[teresafannin]

Thank you for the responses, I am pleased so many people took the time to answer. The Playboy comparison wasn't a very good one on my part, but I was thinking along the age of my son when we got online 2 years ago-he was 15. I tended to be a bit over protective & wouldn't let him go to other kid's homes until I had met them & their parents when he was younger. Of course, the one place I always thought he would be safe was the one where he lost his life. Thank you again for the responses.

 

[Laurel]

Kids see more screwing on "The Discovering Channel" (usually two tortoises) than they will on a parentally controlled computer.

WTF is with them tortoises? Randy lil buggers...

On topic, I'm not sure it's appropriate subject matter for the kids. The last place that children should learn about sex is from pornography - not because it's "dirty" or "wrong", but because it's distorted. I wouldn't want my kid to learn how to drive from watching action movies. I don't have kids, and if I did I'm sure it would drastically affect my life in many ways, including the site.

However, it's not like I work on Literotica in a g-string and pasties with my hands between my legs either. If a child walked into the room, they see me at a computer with a page of text on the screen (if they read the text, THAT might be a problem...). Running an adult website doesn't mean that your home environment is that of a strip club. If you keep the pictures and subject matter away from your child until they're old enough to understand - "Mommy runs websites and does freelance design" - and even then make it something that is part of YOUR life, not theirs, then I don't see the problem. What's better for a child - being raised in a day care while mom works 40+ hours a week for minimum wage, or being raised at home by a mother who has the ability to structure her schedule around the needs of her children?