Poop and scoop

[Todd]

Our town has a poop and scoop by law

The property that I live on has a poop and scoop sign posted to be seen from every direction

There is this one guy that walks his dog and won't poop and scoop after it every single day

Would it be really bad thing for me to go and poop all over his lawn

 

[modest mouse]

No, I would encourage you to do so.

Or fling his dog's poop at him when he comes by.

Keep me updated.

 

[christophe]

I would think he'd be, or should be appreciative. Lawn fertalizer isn't cheep.

His dog on the other hand would probably be pissed since you're marking his territory

 

[cymbidia]

Modest Mouse has to be related to someone here.
InternationalFunboy? No, that's just av similarity.
PC? No, though they share a particular fondness for rapierlike sarcasm.
Who?
This is bugging me.


Anyway, Todd, ignore MM's advice, a thing you've already done, i'm sure. Do not go crap on the guys lawn. I'm sure the laws against that are more strictly enforced than the pooper-scooper laws.

Call the cops.
Tell them all about it.
Tell them what time the guy ordinarily commits the crime.
Ask them to watch the area.

Alternatively, you could walk out and talk to the guy about it. You gotta be *very* nice, though, or you might begin finding dog poop in more objectionable places, you know.

 

[Todd]

Modest Mouse has to be related to someone here.
InternationalFunboy? No, that's just av similarity.
PC? No, though they share a particular fondness for rapierlike sarcasm.
Who?
This is bugging me.


Anyway, Todd, ignore MM's advice, a thing you've already done, i'm sure. Do not go crap on the guys lawn. I'm sure the laws against that are more strictly enforced than the pooper-scooper laws.

Call the cops.
Tell them all about it.
Tell them what time the guy ordinarily commits the crime.
Ask them to watch the area.

Alternatively, you could walk out and talk to the guy about it. You gotta be *very* nice, though, or you might begin finding dog poop in more objectionable places, you know.

Done the cop thing

Done the video and Cop thing

Done the talk nicely thing

Done the talk nicely and cop thing

Want to do the low grade electric mat electtric shock his dog thing

Want to do the pellet fun thing

Want to do the poop on his lawn thing

Want to visit a local farm and get a huge truck load and visit his house at 3 am thing

 

[Rubyfruit]

Todd, get a pooper scooper and everytime the guy's dog poops on your lawn, scoop it up and deposit it on his lawn.

I've been owned by dogs for years now, and I never go out of the house with them without means to pick up their calling cards. To do less is simply tacky.

Ruby

 

[MysticSwing]

I'd just keep calling the cops. I'd call them every single day if needs be. You would think that eventually this guy would get sick of the cops showing up and warning him to clean up after his poopin' pup! (What about fines? Does your town fine people who don't clean up their doggies doo-doo? If so, I would think he'd get sick of paying that too!)

~~Mystic

 

[April]

Hmm. Maybe you scoop it up after he and his dog are done, and go fling it in his yard.

Or save up a whole bunch and fling it?

Oh, I know! Cat shit! Yeah. Find someone with a cat and when they change the litter or scoop it, take that and fling it in his yard really late at night.

 

[modest mouse]

Modest Mouse has to be related to someone here.

Cymbidia,

Time to spill the beans. Who am I related to? You have my attention now, this should be interesting.

 

[cymbidia]

Want to do the low grade electric mat electtric shock his dog thing

Want to do the pellet fun thing

Want to do the poop on his lawn thing

Want to visit a local farm and get a huge truck load and visit his house at 3 am thing

Oh Todd, i haven't actually snickered like this at anything in a very long time. And, like MM said, keep me posted, okay?

Time to spill the beans. Who am I related to?

It's just nibbling at the edges of my conscious but i don't know and can't quite put my finger on *WHO* you remind me so strongly of - and that's bugging the hell out of me, too. Go find a post by Int'lFunboy, though, and then tell me that your av and his aren't kids from the same family.

 

[Problem Child]

Todd...stand up for yourself goddamnit! You know the malingering bastard is a liberal rabble-rouser, intent on upsetting the delicate balance of proper pet etiquette and yard maintenace in your neighborhood.

Get a deer rifle and blow the bastard's lungs out next time his dog shits in an off limits area. Then do his dog. Use a suppressor if you have to.

Remember: "Extremism in the defense of a well-manicured fescue is no vice."

 

[cymbidia]

Todd, honey, ignore PC, too.
But then, you already knew that.

Flinging the crap back on his lawn, though, there's a certain poetic justice in that. And if you can add crap to the total, from your neighbors animals or something, that might work out, too.

Beware crossing the line between legal retribution and illegal harassment, though, or you might be able to discover how much you dislike having a roomie named Big Al who thinks you've got the cutest little butt he's ever seen. I don't think you're ready for anal play, especially the rough, forced, same-sex kind, are you?

 

[Problem Child]

Damn. Dog poop as a serious topic of discussion. We've reached a new low.

 

[BlondGirl]

Todd, This might work--it will take a bit of effort, but you might find it takes care of the problem.

Take your leftovers out and set them at the edge of the yard where that dog enters your yard. Pour in some syrup of ipecac--it won't take much--just a bit of leftover food with the medicine in it. Dog eats. Dog pukes the rest of the walk. This occurs the next day. And the next. Mr. Shit decides that this is probably not the best place to bring his dog.
It would be most effective if there were VERY tasty morsels out for the dogs--thigns they can gulp in a moment. Like a weiner with the syrup in the center. Heh heh heh. Not too painful for the dog. (Have you ever seen a dog who was concerned about puking?) But terribly inconveniencing to Mr. Shit. It will probably only take one or two days to acheive this.
good luck.

 

[Thomas Paine]

Nice. Make the poor dog sick because the owner is an asshole.

 

[Jean Val Jean]

Just turn the hose on the dog. Only takes two applications and he will shit elsewhere. Dogs hate it. I use a squirt bottle to train my dogs and cats. They seem to hate that more than anything.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

If you're around when the owner comes by with his dog, a blast from a dog whistle might help. As for ipecac, there are laws against such things, for the animal's protection, same with antifreeze, and also, I do NOT think that you really want to risk giving a dog a serious medical problem for something that is natural to them, and ultimately the owner's responisibilty. Todd, if the police do not respond at first, call them and ask to speak to their supervisor, tell them that there have been repeated attempts to get a responce, and you have had nothing in return. As for retribution, there is the dog crap on his Lawn, but the dog might use that as well, so it isn't really effective. If you are REALLY sick of this you might want to invest in a dog repelling fence. They emit a high frequency sound that dogs dislike. Warning, if you have pets, the last option isn't so good because it will also effect your own pets. Good Luck with your problem. Just remember, the dog has no fault in this, so no harm should come to the dog.

 

[MysticSwing]

As for ipecac, there are laws against such things, for the animal's protection, same with antifreeze, and also, I do NOT think that you really want to risk giving a dog a serious medical problem for something that is natural to them, and ultimately the owner's responisibilty. Just remember, the dog has no fault in this, so no harm should come to the dog.

I agree. It's not the dogs fault. I don't agree with doing anything that might make the dog sick. But, how about baking the dogs owner a big ol' batch of sugar cookies laced with ipecac and tell him it's an early Christmas present? Sure, it might not stop his dog from doing "the deed" in your yard, but it might give you a bit of morbid satisfaction!

~~Mystic

 

[Gilly Bean]

In our area, I believe calling the cops might get a report writen, but otherwise they could care less. However, calling an animal shelter will usually get better results.

Save all the dog poop in a bag for a week, then go over and dump it (the poop, not the bag) on his front steps, and leave a note saying that you stored it for a while, but the smell was getting objectionable, and thought hemight like it back.

 

[StondTmplPilot]

In our area, I believe calling the cops might get a report writen, but otherwise they could care less. However, calling an animal shelter will usually get better results.

Save all the dog poop in a bag for a week, then go over and dump it (the poop, not the bag) on his front steps, and leave a note saying that you stored it for a while, but the smell was getting objectionable, and thought hemight like it back.

you forgot to tell him to light the bag afire, then ring the bell and RUN!!!!!

 

[Gilly Bean]

Yeah, but it is so much fun watching the guy have to scrub it off the steps!

 

[LadyDarkFire]

STP, while the flaming dog crap bag is a favorite of many delinquents, you might not want to recommend it to an adult. Arson charges have been brought against people for it. With the poop and storing it, why not just charge him disposal costs? Garbage men get alot of money to deal with Trash, and Dog shit is considered Trash. Todd, how about just telling him that the next time he does it, he gets to pay you 3 bucks for the removal disposal and risk factor of dealing with it? 3 bucks a day v poop scoop will generally get you the result you want.

 

[Gilly Bean]

While charging would be fun, I some how doubt that the guy would care, or listen. Todd said he already tried talking with him.

Maybe mail it to him in a box that says,

DO NOT OPEN TILL CHRISTMAS!!!!

 

[TN_Vixen]

Hey Todd?

In John Irving's new novel "The Fourth Hand", there's a hand surgeon who has a facination with whacking dog poop with a hockey stick. It was quite amusing in the book and I would imagine it would be just as entertaining to see someone do it in person. Next time, take the hockey stick and whack all that shit into his yard, onto his person, or best yet- back at the dog... it's his shit anyway, right?

 

[Thomas Paine]

Re: Hey Todd?

Next time, take the hockey stick and whack all that shit into his yard, onto his person, or best yet- back at the dog... it's his shit anyway, right?

Plus, it would be annoying as hell when the flashing red light kept coming on....