Politically Incorrect - Marriage

[TonyG]

One of last night's topics concerned marriage and other forms of committed relationships. Why do it?

Bill read the results from a poll taken in 1980 which showed that 22% of married people believed occasional straying of the husband/wife was acceptable. The same poll taken in 2000 showed the acceptance level rose to 53%.

His belief is that since the majority of people now accept the straying of a spouse it must be the result of that many more spouses straying. So, why make the marriage a sham if you know you will eventually stray? He feels that marriage goes against human nature where one can never be satisfied.

Your thoughts?

 

[naudiz]

I don't think everyone is suited to marriage, but to say that the premise goes against human nature is a little much. It might not be suitable for the sheer number of people who do it, but that doesn't make the entire institution a sham. What -does- make the entire institution a sham is making a commitment of that caliber and then breaking it.

I think cohabitation of some kind is human nature. We're social animals. I think if two people want to get married, great. If they just want to shack up on a quasi-permanent basis, great. If they want to be single and swinging till they're making eyes at the little old lady across the cafeteria table at the nursing home, great. The important thing that must be present in all these situations is honest and open communication.

Know yourself and know your partner. If you know you're not the kind of person to settle down with one mate for the rest of your life, don't marry someone who is expecting to be your one and only. If you don't know -that- much about yourself or your partner, then you don't know enough to make the kind of commitment that marriage entails.

Easier said than done, I know.

 

[Ambrosious]

tony_gam

That Bill is a whacked out dude, huh?

 

[Shylady]

In march I will celebrate my 21st wedding anniversary.
I know that I have never strayed or will ever stray (flirting is not straying and I only flirt here at lit anyway lol)
I also know my hubby hasn't strayed and before you people start feeling sorry for this poor delusional woman, you should know that my husband always comes home straight from work and always lets me know where he is. I do the same for him. There have never been any unexplained delays or anything like that so I can be very sure of him. Not to mention he is even more conservative than I am and wouldn't even flirt if he came here.
I love being married to my hubby I did get a good one

 

[Latina]

Good for you, shylady. I got a good one, too. I think it helps that he was 40 and I was 45 when we met, more mature, more sure of what we both want out of life. Neither of us has or would ever stray. We have it all, we don't need anyone else to muck-up our relationship.

-- Latina

 

[livin_simple]

I really think children need the security that shacking up with another person cannot provide.

If you're gonna be married, work hard at making it a good marriage.

If you're gonna shack up, work hard at not making children.

 

[TonyG]

Originally posted by Ambrosious
That Bill is a whacked out dude, huh?

Yes, he is but he starts some very interesting topics.

 

[Laurel]

Monogamy is unnatural? So's toilet paper, Coca-Cola, and television. I love people who say, "Animals are rarely monogamous, and we are animals. Therefore, monogamy is unnatural." Animals also eat their young & rape each other. I don't hear anyone defending rape & infanticide on the grounds that they're "natural" acts, even though they do occur frequently in nature. We're animals, but we're thinking animals. We aren't a bag of hormones & instincts. We have an understanding of cause and effect, and the ability to make small sacrifices for a larger payoff.

Monogamy, though not as exciting as polygamy, does have big payoffs. It's a great feeling to be in a secure, happy, fulfilling relationship with someone who loves you above everyone and everything else on this planet. It's great to return those feelings. If you can do that and still both enjoy a swinging lifestyle together without compromising that security, more power to you. But I don't think sneaking around your partner's back for nookie does anything but destroy that security. If you're gonna do that, why make a commitment?

You want to do the nasty hundreds of men and/or women? Go for it. If someone thinks marriage is unnatural, then they shouldn't get married. No one's putting a gun to your head and forcing their moral beliefs on you (yet).

 

[Countess DeWinter]

Okay, tony, you asked for it

I believe human beings were created for marriage in general. Some were gifted with the ability to go through life with out the need to marry (you can call it pair bonding if you like). I believe that monagamy is right rather than normal or natural.

And please don't use that "animals aren't momagamous, and we're animals" line. Some animals ARE monagamous. We are NOT animals. Well, not most of us.