Married and Cheating Statistics

[000777]

I've never been exclusive. I've mostly had sex partners and only a few typical boyfriend relationships. But I started thinking about being exclusive when things got serious with my husband. Close to our wedding I decided to become monogamous. I lasted a month

I have to admit, I find that incredibly hot! You do You.

 

[Utmale48]

As a woman who has affairs, I cheat because of a lot of reasons. I stopped being seen as a woman, in my marriage. I became a maid, cook, personal shopper and all the tiny things women do that get so taken advantage of. I was a self cleaning masturbation tool for my husband. We haven’t kissed in over a decade. It was “take your panties off, we are having sex” as foreplay. Or just locking the door and putting on a porn. I told him no, but it was hell in my house after, think toddler getting wrong sippy cup tantrum, until I gave in. Now, I use toys to cum, turn around and let him have doggy, so I don’t have to look at him.

He’s also extremely controlling and manipulative. I know, why don’t I just leave? He turned my kids against me when I tried. He has stated he would spend every penny we have in court rather than me see a dime, after being a housewife and sahm for 16 years. I am scared to leave. I have been working but the jobs I have pay awful and the hours are worse.

Affairs, emotional and sexual, I feel seen, beautiful, sexy, desired. I feel wanted. That is what I needed.

Thanks for opening up and being so honest. I’m sorry you’ve had to endure that.

 

[magicalmoments]

I suspect women cheat a lot more often than people realize. Everybody assumes it’s always a man.

I suspect you are right about women. I doubt everybody thinks it's always a man.

 

[magicalmoments]

My cheating was entirely selfish. I had a happy marriage, a loving wife who was sexually adventurous and never once denied my advances to her for sex when i wanted it and frequently initiated sex. On top of that she was a an excellent housekeeper, cook and mother. But... I liked being able to fuck other women so I did. I never had an affair as such, no long term emotional attachment to other women. I found I could contact an almost endless supply of married women looking for sex who put personal adverts in "swingers" contact magazines (pre internet days). I had a job that required me to travel away from home regularly to all parts of the country and I took advantage of that. I did occasionally feel guilty about my behavior but got over that quickly when arranging to connect with another woman. I certainly have no regrets about it. My wife never found out or at least never confronted me about my activities.

 

[lily_wall_]

My cheating was entirely selfish. I had a happy marriage, a loving wife who was sexually adventurous and never once denied my advances to her for sex when i wanted it and frequently initiated sex. On top of that she was a an excellent housekeeper, cook and mother. But... I liked being able to fuck other women so I did. I never had an affair as such, no long term emotional attachment to other women. I found I could contact an almost endless supply of married women looking for sex who put personal adverts in "swingers" contact magazines (pre internet days). I had a job that required me to travel away from home regularly to all parts of the country and I took advantage of that. I did occasionally feel guilty about my behavior but got over that quickly when arranging to connect with another woman. I certainly have no regrets about it. My wife never found out or at least never confronted me about my activities.

Did you two breakup?

 

[magicalmoments]

Did you two breakup?

It's a long story spread over 20 years. My cheating started about year 7 of the marriage, by about year 9 we had become swingers. I was still cheating in addition to our shared partner swapping and 3'sums. By about year 12 we opened our marriage and gave each other permission to see other people. This was mainly because she didn't enjoy partner swapping but enjoyed her extra marital sex and 3'sums and wanted to continue that but not deny me the opportunity to enjoy myself as well. We still did MFM 3'sums together. At this point, (year 12), I stopped cheating because I simply didn't have to anymore. I just carried on doing what I had been doing since year 7 of the marriage but doing it openly. We carried on like this till year 26 when we decided to split. The main reason for the split was the simple realisation after the kids had flown the nest that we really had nothing in common and it was time to start over. That was 25 years ago, we are still good buddies (entirely platonic) and meet up a few times a year over family events.

 

[screwher]

Yeah, it's very common to have sex on a business or business conference trip. My wife has.

This is why I wish my wife’s career took her away on business trips. Especially if it meant travelling with her now former GM. She admitted she has the hots for him. But nothing ever happened between them. That I’m not 100% convinced about. But being away together would give my wife that opportunity with him.

 

[lc69hunter]

A UK survey just a few years ago, said that 42% of women had sex with someone other than their spouse, while on holiday. A perfect place, away from friends, family and co-workers. I gave my wife a standing hall pass when she was on the road, so didn't have the cheating guilt.
I attend a lot of seminars. Very few attendees bring spouses. Same thing, away from friends, family and co-workers. I have hooked up with several wives over the years at Tax Conferences, including one time with an IRS employee, one of the instructors

 

[000777]

A UK survey just a few years ago, said that 42% of women had sex with someone other than their spouse, while on holiday. A perfect place, away from friends, family and co-workers. I gave my wife a standing hall pass when she was on the road, so didn't have the cheating guilt.
I attend a lot of seminars. Very few attendees bring spouses. Same thing, away from friends, family and co-workers. I have hooked up with several wives over the years at Tax Conferences, including one time with an IRS employee, one of the instructors

That's really hot! I don't travel often but have managed to get lucky and have sex a couple of times. Had some milder fun lots of times and wives that travel on business seem to be open for at least some fun. My wife has had more fun many more times than I have when traveling.

 

[MerWilh]

That's really hot! I don't travel often but have managed to get lucky and have sex a couple of times. Had some milder fun lots of times and wives that travel on business seem to be open for at least some fun. My wife has had more fun many more times than I have when traveling.

It's always much easier for our wives to just sit and relax in a cafe, bar or restaurant and get approached by a sexy stranger than it is for us men.

 

[000777]

It's always much easier for our wives to just sit and relax in a cafe, bar or restaurant and get approached by a sexy stranger than it is for us men.

Yeah, that's very true and it happens regularly.

 

[LeeKee]

I came across a few interesting stats on cheating in marriages and thought I would pass them along for discussion and responses.
44% of women said it was with someone their husband knew.
The top cheating occurrence was Business trips.
The percentage of affairs that begin at work: 60%
Up to 60% of all spouses will take part in some form of infidelity at least once during their marriage.
56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages.
Women and men cheat at the same rate within a marriage, although the reasons why women cheat are very different from the reasons that men cheat.
34% of women who had affairs claimed to be happy or very happy in their marriages
The most common reason why a woman cheats on her spouse: emotional satisfaction.
Men [74%] and women [68%] say that they would have an affair if they knew that they wouldn’t be caught.
17% of cheating spouses have an affair with one of their in-laws.
The percentage of cheating spouses who have a fling while on a business trip: 35%.

I think that last statement, about business trips, is a low estimate. I believe it to be much higher.

 

[MaturemanAJ]

For me even as I was dating I was only monogamous with my first girlfriend but even then other would get my attention but it never turned to sex as I would tell them I had a girlfriend.
Once she decided to start seeing others which was excruciatingly painful I then went on a tear.
I didn't care at all about a relationship I just wanted sex with no strings I wasn't going through that again.
Once I got into a so called relationship I found I had turned dominant and wasn't about to have any running any facet of my life. I shared women with others, openly had sex with other women with them around.

Even early in married life we were swapping with others and then kids came. I became monogamous for probably 7 years basically turning off my radar for women then a beautiful, fun blonde walked into my place of employment. Within a matter days we were meeting during the day, at lunch, after work and then the dreaded words came out of her mouth " I love you"

That was never my intention and I ended up finding different employment to distance myself.
She was fun, sexy had a great smile and laugh but my responsibility was at home.

 

[irishblade]

So my husband used to say it was the person who was cheated on his fault for the other person cheating. He would say oh it’s their fault because they weren’t doing something that the other person needed. Then he found out about an emotional affair I had and he couldn’t see how he had driven me to that point. He made me promise and swear that I would never do it again which I didn’t keep. I don’t think I kept it 24 hours because as soon as I took him back because the gaslighting in the manipulation, nothing has changed. I was still vacant inside.

Do you think deep down in your psyche that you are wanting to get caught again so that he will leave for good? Sorry to go full psych. Your story here has been fascinating.

 

[000777]

I think that last statement, about business trips, is a low estimate. I believe it to be much higher.

You are most likely right. It is more common than most people think.

 

[Mu5tang]

Yeah, it's very common to have sex on a business or business conference trip. My wife has.

Mine has too

 

[Anchor10]

As a woman who has affairs, I cheat because of a lot of reasons. I stopped being seen as a woman, in my marriage. I became a maid, cook, personal shopper and all the tiny things women do that get so taken advantage of. I was a self cleaning masturbation tool for my husband. We haven’t kissed in over a decade. It was “take your panties off, we are having sex” as foreplay. Or just locking the door and putting on a porn. I told him no, but it was hell in my house after, think toddler getting wrong sippy cup tantrum, until I gave in. Now, I use toys to cum, turn around and let him have doggy, so I don’t have to look at him.

He’s also extremely controlling and manipulative. I know, why don’t I just leave? He turned my kids against me when I tried. He has stated he would spend every penny we have in court rather than me see a dime, after being a housewife and sahm for 16 years. I am scared to leave. I have been working but the jobs I have pay awful and the hours are worse.

Affairs, emotional and sexual, I feel seen, beautiful, sexy, desired. I feel wanted. That is what I needed.

Sorry you have to deal with your husband. I am in very similar situation. The wife does not want sex.

 

[BornNorCal]

As a woman who has affairs, I cheat because of a lot of reasons. I stopped being seen as a woman, in my marriage. I became a maid, cook, personal shopper and all the tiny things women do that get so taken advantage of. I was a self cleaning masturbation tool for my husband. We haven’t kissed in over a decade. It was “take your panties off, we are having sex” as foreplay. Or just locking the door and putting on a porn. I told him no, but it was hell in my house after, think toddler getting wrong sippy cup tantrum, until I gave in. Now, I use toys to cum, turn around and let him have doggy, so I don’t have to look at him.

He’s also extremely controlling and manipulative. I know, why don’t I just leave? He turned my kids against me when I tried. He has stated he would spend every penny we have in court rather than me see a dime, after being a housewife and sahm for 16 years. I am scared to leave. I have been working but the jobs I have pay awful and the hours are worse.

Affairs, emotional and sexual, I feel seen, beautiful, sexy, desired. I feel wanted. That is what I needed.

I don't know if I've ever read a more concise, well worded explanation of the thoughts and feelings behind this issue that expressed it better than this. I feel that frustration and hatred around lying and not being able to be more transparent. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing.

 

[BornNorCal]

What I find is men are happy with their partners but they either aren’t having sex as often as they want or it’s become a roommate situation. They stick it out because they love her and they have kids. Sometimes, I suggest to them to not expect sex but to step into the dominant masculine and romance her. Take her to dinner. Don’t make her pick. You know your wife. You’ve memorized her. Sweep her off her feet. Make her feel what you did when she married you. You worked to get her, then complacency steps in and yes, kids, work, things get in the way and you take for granted the person you hold most dear. Women need to feel like women…

How would you react if your man tried to do these things? At this point in your marriage?

 

[HotWifeOC]

Sorry you have to deal with your husband. I am in very similar situation. The wife does not want sex.

Her loss?

 

[SassyKinkyLady]

How would you react if your man tried to do these things? At this point in your marriage?

At this point? It’s way too late. If he’d tried 3 years ago, I would have jumped at the affection. Now, the resentment I feel, the loathing of his existence, it’s all too real.

 

[Britva415]

Her loss?

AND his, from the sound of it.

 

[Cob083]

I came across a few interesting stats on cheating in marriages and thought I would pass them along for discussion and responses.
44% of women said it was with someone their husband knew.
The top cheating occurrence was Business trips.
The percentage of affairs that begin at work: 60%
Up to 60% of all spouses will take part in some form of infidelity at least once during their marriage.
56% of men who have affairs claim to be happy in their marriages.
Women and men cheat at the same rate within a marriage, although the reasons why women cheat are very different from the reasons that men cheat.
34% of women who had affairs claimed to be happy or very happy in their marriages
The most common reason why a woman cheats on her spouse: emotional satisfaction.
Men [74%] and women [68%] say that they would have an affair if they knew that they wouldn’t be caught.
17% of cheating spouses have an affair with one of their in-laws.
The percentage of cheating spouses who have a fling while on a business trip: 35%.

Men and women cheat for different reasons. With women it is typically because they are bored so the common reason they cite emotional satisfaction as the reason they cheat comes as no real surprise. Men we see something that looks good to the eye and we want to bed it down. I dont feel we as men are truly meant to be monogamous. Especially specific types or classes of men.

 

[Penus_Flytrap]

I'm more curious as to how many people were surveyed? Often it seems statistics like these will have say 2000, or 5000 people surveyed and in a country of many millions of citizens, how would it look if many more were surveyed. Personally, I think those with relatively high libido levels are going to cheat at some point no matter what their personal morals are. So if I were with a guy who wanted to screw every day, and it rarely seems to wane, I wouldn't marry him nor take the relationship much more serious than that. I too, have a high sex drive, and it's highly likely that I would cheat on him at some point. Granted, it's often that sex between couples slows down over time even if their libido has not and that, too, is also a crack that's about to cave in. So that may be worth considering when choosing a partner.

 

[LMWM321]

Often it seems statistics like these will have say 2000, or 5000 people surveyed and in a country of many millions of citizens, how would it look if many more were surveyed.

I think that 2-5000 people, randomly selected, meets the threshold of statistical significance. In other words, you wouldn't see much, if any, difference in the responses.