Political correctness???

[le_kinklet]

Just wondering since it is something no one really says much about it!
I happened in the past to witness and arguement where one Dom was chastising another Dom for calling His sub "Dear", saying it was demeaning to his sub and that it should be outlawed! Now to my way of thinking i feel that if a Dominant addresses a sub as "Dear", that He/She respects the sub for what she/he is and is a term of endearment.
I would be interested to know what others think on this?
thanx
~*HuGs*~

 

[Croctden]

I not sure how to interpret the poll

I have no problem with someone using "dear" (especially since I do), or not.

 

[le_kinklet]

Re: I not sure how to interpret the poll

I have no problem with someone using "dear" (especially since I do), or not.

Just asking ifyou either agree eith political corestness or not. or some may not be sure
~*HuGs*~

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Lost in the translation

i may be way off base here, but your question appears to mix two things together.

re Political Correctness, if any here had the slightest shading, i doubt they'd lurk or soapbox this forum. People exist in the vanilla world that don't get "our thing," and deem said "thing" as having something wrong with it; so much so that laws get passed to prevent our enjoyment of the lifestyle. If you refer to that mindset, no, i don't agree with political correctness.

re the example of calling another's submissive/slave by what some consider a generic pet name, oh what a minefield you just laid out ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

 

[le_kinklet]

Re: Lost in the translation

i may be way off base here, but your question appears to mix two things together.

re Political Correctness, if any here had the slightest shading, i doubt they'd lurk or soapbox this forum. People exist in the vanilla world that don't get "our thing," and deem said "thing" as having something wrong with it; so much so that laws get passed to prevent our enjoyment of the lifestyle. If you refer to that mindset, no, i don't agree with political correctness.

re the example of calling another's submissive/slave by what some consider a generic pet name, oh what a minefield you just laid out ... http://www.1st-vets.org/forum/images/smiles/icon_twisted.gif

OOPS!

No you are not way off base, but i was bored an prolly did not think about the question enough! I am not thinking in the "nilla" world at all, that is a whole new ball game, and of course laws are made to protect unwilling participants ie: abused husbands wives etc...

Yes i am referring to the mindset.
~*HuGs*~

 

[AngelicAssassin]

OOPS!

No you are not way off base, but i was bored an prolly did not think about the question enough! I am not thinking in the "nilla" world at all, that is a whole new ball game, and of course laws are made to protect unwilling participants ie: abused husbands wives etc...

Yes i am referring to the mindset.
~*HuGs*~

The key to walking a minefield is following any footsteps you might find leading thru it ... after you ...

http://www.spacespider.net/emo/devil19.gif

i would hope good manners came into play if a friendly relationship didn't exist in your example.

Both dominants, in your example, appear to have gone overboard.

Then again, you could always hand them dueling pistols and let the rest of us in the peanut gallery laugh our butts off watching them.

 

[catalina_francisco]

To me from the example presented, I think I would feel it were a breach of etiquette similar to touching or approaching another's sub without asking the Dominant first. It would in some ways depend on the relationship between the D's, but I would think if there was an established relationship, the issue would not have arisen as protocol would already have been established.

I think also my feelings are reflective of the bigger picture of the vanilla world where some men use terms of endearment such as 'dear' as a means to patronise a woman in which case this could also be what the other D was referring to as being disrespectful. It is perhaps he had knowledge of this man's view of women on the whole and took exception to his sub being subject to it.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

I don't see what political correctness has to do with a term of endearment. I've always heard political correctness defined as the use of terms like "vertically-challenged" and stuff like that.

 

[SexyChele]

I don't see the cross either, but no matter.

I think Catalina touched on it rather well. There are some women (and men) who feel such terms as "dear", "sweetie", "honey", and such should be reserved for people who one knows well. Oftentimes, people will use these terms without meaning offense - it's just an expression - but it triggers a reaction from the other person. This might be what was happening.

But I think one needs to keep in mind the background of a person. When I was in New Orleans, I was called "honey" and "dear" all the time. It's a southern thing, and people don't mean anything by it. I've also had older ladies call me "sweetie". Again, they didn't mean anything by it, it's just a product of where they came from.

I think taking that hard a stance is a bit of an over-reaction, but then, who am I? I think the Dom who felt "injured" should have said something quietly and privately to the other. But that's just me.

 

[Etoile]

Heh! I was unwittingly involved in a major argument this morning when I mentioned that Baltimoreans commonly call everybody hon.

 

[le_kinklet]

SexyChele, Etoile, catalina_francisco

 

[le_kinklet]

OOPS!!

SexyChele, Etoile, catalina_francisco,

Thinks you all got what i meant solly, i is dyslexic, i do confuse myself too at times,,, and here in Australia, the elderly make no bones about calling any one sweety or dear or honey, And yeah prolly a minefield, but doesn't it have you thinking?
Yes the appropriate Manner for the Dom feeling insulted, was to say some thing say in "whisper" rather that open to any one to add their 2 cents worth in!

Solly just wanted other ppls opinions, and ideas on thee subject!
Thanks for your contribution to this thread!
thanx
~*HUuGs*~


ps ignor the last post i hit enter when i shouldn't have,,, heheheh
what a clutz am I,,,

 

[Daedalus77]

Being PC means that you should never say anything that could offend anyone. We all should grow thicker skins and enjoy life more.

P.S. If anyone disagrees with me I will ask the moderater to ban you.

D.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... We all should grow thicker skins and enjoy life more.

P.S. If anyone disagrees with me I will ask the moderater to ban you.

D.

Damn, i have to agree because i'm http://www.spacespider.net/emo/puke.gif of PC.

Guess i get no ... http://www.spacespider.net/emo/banned.gif

 

[FungiUg]

I happened in the past to witness and arguement where one Dom was chastising another Dom for calling His sub "Dear", saying it was demeaning to his sub and that it should be outlawed!

Actually, I remember that argument. One of the more interesting aspects was that the "sub" and the "Dom" involved turned out to be the same person! Chat rooms can be so wierd at times.

I think there are two sides to silly things like that. Firstly, if people pick something perfectly innocent to get upset about, then that's their own problem. If they don't like it, they can go elsewhere. "Pick up your marbles and go home." Calling someone "dear" is something people have been doing for centuries (at least), so I don't see why it should suddenly become demeaning now.

Secondly, if someone makes a reasonable request "Don't call me x/y/z" or whatever, and it's easy enough to comply, then why not? That's just politeness. If they make a big song and dance of it though, have screaming trantrums, lambast the person calling them whatever... well, see the "pack up your marbles and go home" option.

So I don't think it's about being "politically correct". Polite, perhaps. Calling someone dear doesn't pick on any kind of minority (unless someone misspells it as "deer"), so there's no political agenda attached to the word.

 

[le_kinklet]

Re: Re: Political correctness???

Actually, I remember that argument. One of the more interesting aspects was that the "sub" and the "Dom" involved turned out to be the same person! Chat rooms can be so wierd at times.

I think there are two sides to silly things like that. Firstly, if people pick something perfectly innocent to get upset about, then that's their own problem. If they don't like it, they can go elsewhere. "Pick up your marbles and go home." Calling someone "dear" is something people have been doing for centuries (at least), so I don't see why it should suddenly become demeaning now.

Secondly, if someone makes a reasonable request "Don't call me x/y/z" or whatever, and it's easy enough to comply, then why not? That's just politeness. If they make a big song and dance of it though, have screaming trantrums, lambast the person calling them whatever... well, see the "pack up your marbles and go home" option.

So I don't think it's about being "politically correct". Polite, perhaps. Calling someone dear doesn't pick on any kind of minority (unless someone misspells it as "deer"), so there's no political agenda attached to the word.

Thanx Fung,, that is exactly what i meant and i agree totally with you, Wow did not know they were the same person. Thanx for your opinion, greatly appreciated,,, hehehe you said it better than i could anyways
~*HuGs*~

 

[Ebonyfire]

Being PC means that you should never say anything that could offend anyone. We all should grow thicker skins and enjoy life more.

P.S. If anyone disagrees with me I will ask the moderater to ban you.

D.

I just saw this, and its bite makes you a Member of the Coffee Spew of the Month Club!

 

[niteshade]

Ok, well, let me begin by saying that I am from the South. Here, everyone is "sweetie, sugar pie, honey, darlin, and dear" to paraphrase a country song. It really depends on how the person meant it... I have been known to call 40 yr old men sweetie, and mean it in the most casual way, while most everyone is darlin or dear at one point or another. That is just how I talk. However, I have also been known to call someone "Dear" in a very harsh manner. Personally, I belive it is like anything else... It all depends on the context.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

... Ok, well, let me begin by saying that I am from the South. Here, everyone is "sweetie, sugar pie, honey, darlin, and dear" to paraphrase a country song ...

Spent quite a while in the South myself darlin' ... how's the search for mock turtlenecks going?